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Open Poetry #44
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A Child's Fantasy Adventure
| Open Poetry #44 |
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A Child's Fantasy Adventure |
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Anniepimm Senior Member
since 2008-12-26
Posts 550England 
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A Child's Fantasy Adventure In the stream of the afternoon sunlight your silhouette blocked out the light Holding my hand in front of my eyes I could only see your shadow try as i might You spoke with words of kindness your voice was sweet and low I have come to help you fair maiden It's not safe, come we should go, Your hand reached out to steady me as you lifted my fallen frame How strong you felt as you swept me up and my fears began to wain, Your OK! now that I have found you you will be home quite soon Just one more single journey before the sun is replaced by the moon, In a chariot pulled with black and white horses the lost princess was returned unharmed As a child's harmless fantasy adventure ends now safe in her mothers arms Annie 12-01-2009... First written poem for 2009..  |
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| © Copyright 2009 Annie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Annie Nice fantasy! I hope the sun is never replaced by the moon but it sure sounds mice in this fantasy. Home safely, that's always good. Eric |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Anniepimm, This moves along logically. I’d advise proofreading your work to avoid lines like: “I couldn't only see your shadow try as i mite” It’s “might”, and it’s acceptable to always capitalize your first person singular personnel pronoun “I”. Keep on writing Hon. Love Bobby |
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Anniepimm Senior Member
since 2008-12-26
Posts 550England |
OOps thanks Bobby i use the spell checker and if it says its ok i sometimes dont think to check. but i will change it now Thank you again for letting me know..  |
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Anniepimm Senior Member
since 2008-12-26
Posts 550England |
And thank you Eric for your lovely comments |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Bobby I notice many people don't capitalize "I" I think it's just this fast paced world we live in. However, like you I always do.....Just an old school habit. Eric |
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Anniepimm Senior Member
since 2008-12-26
Posts 550England |
Thank you Eric I am Dyslexic so sometimes i see letters and words differently I do try to perfect my writing and i hope the lovely people on here will help me learn how to I really do appreciate all comments, And the wonderful way everyone helps Bless you Annie |
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