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Open Poetry #44
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2009-01-09 11:57 AM


.


A glance
A gaze perhaps

A single gesture
A moment
In the life you have
Made to pause

Even without
Her summer leaves
In falling snow
The slender willow
Is beautiful

A gibbous moon
The sky at dusk
From blue to pink
And blue again

Under a sea
Of silver stars


.

© Copyright 2009 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
1 posted 2009-01-09 12:43 PM


fine impressionistic imagery ... particularly the ending:

"Even without
Her summer leaves
In falling snow
The slender willow
Is beautiful

A gibbous moon
The sky at dusk
From blue to pink
And blue again

Under a sea
Of silver stars"

serious applause for the 'write'!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2009-01-09 02:24 PM


John~
Absolutely stunning~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -               noles1@totcon.com

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2009-01-10 10:52 AM


You have frozen a moment in time here, John and created a beautiful picture.
                                Ida

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
4 posted 2009-01-11 01:00 PM


delightful.

yann

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
5 posted 2009-01-13 08:36 PM


Thank you once again for a poetry lesson, as well as a very pleasant read. The way you build such a strong atmosphere in so few words, is worth studying, not just enjoying.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Marc-Andre
Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501

6 posted 2009-01-13 08:47 PM


"Even without
Her summer leaves
In falling snow
The slender willow
Is beautiful

A gibbous moon
The sky at dusk
From blue to pink
And blue again"

I have little to no appreciation of either free verse or the Japanese forms. And every time I click on one of your posts, I ask myself "why?" But something kept me clicking and reading your poems. Today, I know why. Those two stanzas are simply stunning, the best ones you've written so far (my opinion.)The images you've brought to my mind are crystal clear, and the experience is delightful. Have a marvelous day! Mark

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
7 posted 2009-01-14 10:29 AM


.


Thank you all,

Posts will be less frequent
as I'm taking something of a rest,
yet I'll still try when I do
to give you something worth reading.

Thanks again

John



suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2009-01-21 03:17 PM


Such moments often make the life. *S*

This is beautiful... Whatever the wait between posts, you always make it worthwhile. *S*

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

9 posted 2009-01-22 12:35 PM


sorry to hear about the fewer posts, so I will use the one word I keep in reserve for the best writes--pretty, it is pretty
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