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Open Poetry #44
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she slowly walks away
| Open Poetry #44 |
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she slowly walks away |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
dry bones and desert sands tears strained through parting sorrows 'start packing' interrupted through soft hugs and arm crossings road trips on lonely paths ice crystals melt in pourings warm slowly she walks away and turns her cheeks to others...her eyes well with soft-worn tears that stain her memory shorn of facts lay bared with heart-moored weeping as she quickly steals away windows lowered like fallen flags surrendering in wars' decay as out of sight she disappears through coniferous creations now gone like a summer's breeze at the first breath of autumn |
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| © Copyright 2009 Steaven R Snow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
excellent writing Steaven Love this verse... with soft-worn tears that stain her memory shorn of facts lay bared with heart-moored weeping as she quickly steals away windows lowered like fallen flags surrendering in wars' decay great arrangement of thoughts from a different perspective. Eric |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Very emotive write, filled with imagery that captures the mind's eye. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
eric, thank you...always appreciate it when someone picks a part they like...specially when they see things I had not seen Midnitesun, you are 100% right this was an emotional write for me. My daughter had just left to fly back home and I was missing her as she left. tough moment as she lives so far away. Thanks for noticing. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Beautiful poem. Beautiful imagery. I hope your daughter can visit again soon. Ida |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Steaven, When I read your poetry, I feel so relaxed and always anticipate how much I will appreciate your offerings. I am so glad that I stopped by - this is one that reaches out to me. Alison |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
steavenr - many thoughts and emotions in this writing, enjoyed reading... BC |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Ida, well...since she lives in Romania, the visits are few and far between...thank you for reading and commenting...I'm glad you liked it, the imagery, the total experience Alison, thank you so much for the very kind comments...I appreciate it...in this hectic, fast-paced world we need something that relaxes us...so glad you found it that way Bill, glad you found this enjoyable...grateful that you did...thanks...always look forward to your comments |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Dear Steven, how you must love your daughter so. You can tell, you affections for her are all over these words. As i'm sure she loves you so very dearly as well. Thanks for sharing this my friend. Richy  |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
You're a sculptor, aren't you......... I can absolutely see it in the way you form this poem, as if you had looked into a blank substrate and said "I see David." Excellent work! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: How deeply beautiful and poignant, dear Steaven! Your heart in soft display. I also have a daughter living in another country and I know of those moments of good-bye ... Love, Margherita  |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Richy, thank you for your gentle comments...thanks for noticing the love shared...I appreciate that Ratleader, ...what a high compliment...I am overwhelmed by your generosity and humbled, as well...thank you for stopping by and commenting Margherita, ...sounds like we are kindred spirits...I know you understand how even the sound of her voice can make you long for her presence...what is that about absence making the heart grow fonder...so much so it wants to burst...thank you for sharing in our common dilemma |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Steaven... this is beautiful.. sorry to hear that your daughter lives far from you.. I hope she can visit you again soon... lovely gifting here my friend...  RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Steave, I went looking for a poem of yours that I might have missed, and I found this tender rendering of your poetic, loving heart. "as out of sight she disappears through coniferous creations now gone like a summer's breeze at the first breath of autumn" ~ Poignant moment to be sure. Linda |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
RDB, thank you for being so sensitive...she lives in Romania...she is a missionary there...so the visits are few and far between in both directions...parting for us truly is sweet sorrow...we get very sentimental at the end of visits Linda, you honor & humble me so much that I'm speechless (truly something I'm usually not) ...thanks so much...really....thank you |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
Missing someone so touching and beautifully expressed , all my family live in England and live in Australia Out of sight but loved ones are forever on the mind Hope |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Steaven, this is an exquisitely written poem. I ache for the parting sorrows of both you and your daughter, but rejoice that your daughter and you love each other and have a bond of loving communication. Not everybody has that. I am sure that you are very proud of the work that your daughter is doing in Romania. That is also a tribute to you, who has shaped who she is. Owl |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
ice crystals melting and we can only watch and sigh such clarity and beauty in that moment |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Hope, UK to Australia -- you surely do understand the distance factor...thanks for "getting it" Owl "bond of communication" ...I like that...thank you so much inked, "clarity & beauty"...such a sweet and insightful comment -- appreciate you stopping in and commenting |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Steaven, A beautiful and most touching write. I think I'm going to cry - just feeling sorry for myself now because my eldest son lives very far away from me and I miss him. Lovely write! Helen |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
awww, shucks, Helen...didn't mean to make you cry, but there is certainly nothing wrong with feeling 'down' while you miss your kids...that's a parent's prerogative...and that's for sure! Thank you for your kind comments...I appreciate them. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Sometimes a poem takes my breath away... this one did it twice. *S* Such poignance you've penned!! |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
James, thank you for commenting...I am grateful and thankful for doing so... suthern, wow! twice? I am moved...thank you for your graciousness...wish I could ask you what two parts, but good manners forbid me from doing so... -wink- -wink- |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
steavenr: ALL parts! *S* I should have said it left me breathless on both readings... ... and now a third. *S* |
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shelerella75 Member
since 2009-01-30
Posts 58 |
I missed your poetry and remembered this site... this poem is the first I stumbled upon. I didn't dare assume it was me as I read through the lines and cried... then I read further. How blessed I am. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Excellent. I read it through without even breathing, I'm pretty sure. -P Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Oh Steave that is such a sweet poignant post for your daughter, I hope you send it to her, she will be blown away with loving thoughts. great poem. Lindsay |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Oh Steave that is such a sweet poignant post for your daughter, I hope you send it to her, she will be blown away with loving thoughts. great poem. Lindsay |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
suthern, Not only am I honored by your generous thoughts, I am doubly so...or is that triply? Thank you kindly for your gracious kindness.shelerella75, First, let me welcome you to PiP. Second, let me introduce the wonderful family of PiP to you. Ladies & gentlemen (drum roll, please)...this is my eldest daughter...you can tell by her artful use of the elipsis. She is the inspiration for this write...she is missed...she is loved...viking, Thank you. It always amazes me at your apparent tenderness. Breathless...now THAT is a true compliment...thank you.Lindsay, As you can see from my reply to shelerella75, she has already seen this. Thank you for the suggestion, a suggestion from your heart. I appreciate that. Thank you so much. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I really love the title to this one. Nicely done. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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shelerella75 Member
since 2009-01-30
Posts 58 |
thanks, dad, it's nice to read some of your stuff again... I think I'll be hesitant to post since I could never fill your shoes, but I'll enjoy reading immensely! |
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