I Was A Fool REDUX - pipTalk Forums

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HopelessPoet
Junior Member

since 2008-12-18

Posts 14

0 posted 2009-01-04 03:58 AM

Just a warning: This is pretty long, Thank you for reading (if you did.)

I Was A Fool REDUX

You never looked back. Did I mean nothing to you?

You meant the world to me. And now that world is lost.

My heart has become numb. So why does it hurt so much?

You were that amazing feeling in my heart. And now that feeling is lost.

My body aches for your touch. Did you ever imagine gently touching me?

I've always wanted to softly caress that angelic face. And now that face is lost.

You were the impact on my life. Did I ever impact yours?

I've always wanted to be your hero. Did you ever want to be mine?

Did I drive you to this decision? Was it me that did this to you?

I never wanted to hurt you. Do you enjoy hurting me?

I blame myself for everything. Do you blame me too?

All I ever did was love you. Did you ever truly love me?
Do you think this is obsession? Like all the others that have ran from me?

I can tell you now, this is no obsession. I know what love is. I know that feeling.

Love is knowing that no matter what you do to me, I will always forgive you. Love is knowing that no matter where you go, I will always be with you. Love is knowing that you will always be in my heart. Love is knowing that you will always be in my mind, in my thoughts, in my dreams, everywhere I go. Love is knowing that I can trust you with my heart, and in the end of things... it will be in perfect condition.

Thinking about you, every day that I open my eyes. Dreaming of you, every night that I shut them. Missing you, even when we're talking. That's what love is.

Caressing the air, as if it were you. Holding the air, as if it were you. Whispering to the air, as if it were you. That's what love is.

You were the one that I could tell anything to. You were the one that I could actually be myself around. You were the one that I let inside of my heart. That's what love is.

I took down my shield for you. I took off my armour for you. I let down my guard for you. That's what love is.

I gave you my heart. I gave you my mind. I gave you my soul. That's what love is.

If you think this is obsession, then you are mistaken. I know what I felt in my heart, and it was not obsession.

A future without you is something that I can't even think of. You were my future. You were always my future.

Do you still think about me? Do you lie awake in bed because you dream about me? I hope you do. I hope you do, because I wantyou to experience what I've experienced for this last month.

I want you to feel that empty feeling. That feeling that you get when you lose something dear. That feeling that makes you cry and lay there alone and depressed.

That's the feeling that I get every night. Every night that I dream about you. Every night that I lie awake in bed because I think about you.

I hate that feeling. That feeling leaves me to believe that I will never be loved by you. That you have never, ever truly loved me.

My heart is far too empty now. You're the one who did it. Drained every feeling from it. And now, it's cold and numb.

Have you ever lived through 2 weeks on an empty promise? A promise that we will once again be united as lovers? I have.

And for 2 weeks, I found no sleep. And how could I? When all I could think about was you.

All I could think about was how much I was in love. How much I thought you loved me and cared for me. What a fool I was to think that.

I was such a fool to think that our love would never fade. To think that you will always be with me. How could you walk away? This was our story. This was our fate, our destiny.

I guess I was a fool to think that you loved me. To think that you cared for me. To think that you will always be there for me. You are no lover. You are a curse.

A demon straight from the fiery depths of hell. You are not the angel I was fooled into seeing. You took me in with your lies. Promises that you would always be mine. I was a fool to think that you wanted me.

To think that your words meant anything, I was a fool. They are empty. Full of lies and deceit.

This was your plan wasn't it? You found a perfect target in me. You were so tired of heartbreaks, so you decided to break mine.

And you've succeded. Are you happy now? You've won, and my heart is dead.

And now I am alone. Are you happy now? You're the one who gave me this name.

You're this hollow feeling in my heart. You're this numbness in my heart. You're the breakdown of my soul.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

1 posted 2009-01-04 04:24 AM

When I experienced the loss of 'love', I went through some of those emotions as well. However, I never really went into angry mode.

I wish I could have spilled my guts, so to speak, as you have done so passionately ~ so vehemently. I can imagine that it would have been quite cathartic. I held my emotions in and could not even write my feelings down. For some time, I was frozen ~ paralyzed, if you will. Fortunately all that passed and I had some wonderful relationships that followed. ~ Each one special and for different reasons.

"I want you to feel that empty feeling. That feeling that you get when you lose something dear. That feeling that makes you cry and lay there alone and depressed."

~ Gosh, your emotive writing sure has a way of bringing all those emotions back to me!

Thank goodness they have long-since gone!

May your heart be healed in this new year and may it be a year of new beginnings!

Giving you a warm, welcoming pip hug,
Earth Angel

Anniepimm
Senior Member

since 2008-12-26

Posts 550
England

2 posted 2009-01-04 05:04 AM

Very Interesting poem,
When my son in law died and i regarded him as my son, he did everything for me,
I was left out of the grieving processes with his family i think they forgot that i loved him as well just like i would my own child,
And i to went through all these emotions.
This is a very beautiful and a poem most who have lost a loved one recognise,
I applaud your work it must of taken a long time to write and the work involved the result dose you credit..

Sorry the answer was rather long

HopelessPoet
Junior Member

since 2008-12-18

Posts 14

3 posted 2009-01-04 07:47 AM

Thank you for reading

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

4 posted 2009-01-04 11:44 AM

I have searched for years for the passion that you so easily express. Maybe you are my passion realized. By giving birth to you I gave birth to the words that were trapped within. You are my love, you are my life, you are my son. And I am so proud.

Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.

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