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Open Poetry #44
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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 2009-01-01 01:02 PM


I hear a whisper calling,
From where I do not know,
As light of day is falling,
In the calm of dusk's bestow.

Perhaps a wind blows through the trees,
With pine cones dancing in the breeze,
Or perchance a speckled fawn,
Calls out to seek a doe now gone,

I hear a whisper calling,
'Tis not a deer nor wind,
A gentle voice enthralling,
What message does she send?

To her I shout, “Please let me see,”
So I might view, whom you might be.”
She does not show herself to me,
As darkness falls upon the lea.

I hear not a whisper calling,
She is gone, I know not why,
No longer hear her voice enthralling,
"Where have you gone, to her I cry."

Comes no reply in day's decline,
Comes no reply from Vespertine.

[This message has been edited by Tim (01-01-2009 03:58 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Tim - All Rights Reserved
Arius Miura de Galdri
Member
since 2007-07-04
Posts 90
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2009-01-01 01:05 PM


Wow, this was really good.  I loved the visuals it brought to mind and, even though it seemed to have some issues with rhythm to me, I thought it was fantastic!

AMdG

"My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night; but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--it gives a lovely light!"  -Edna St. Vincent Millay

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2009-01-01 01:51 PM


Time out suits you   This reminds me of my "instances" where I am so sure that I hear my friend Willow, when walking through the woods, but when I turn, she is gone.  Wishful thinking I guess Tim.  Beautiful poem, and Happy New Year to you and your Rose.
Anniepimm
Senior Member
since 2008-12-26
Posts 550
England
3 posted 2009-01-01 04:13 PM


Tim. This is Beautiful poem,
Reminds me of that bit when Bambi lost his mum to the hunters
Excellent poem...

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
4 posted 2009-01-01 05:49 PM


Good one, Tim.
           Ida

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2009-01-01 09:09 PM


Tim,

You write a hauntinly beautiful tale.  Thank you for sharing.

Happy New Year.
Alison

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