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Open Poetry #44
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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2008-12-27 11:23 PM


blazing hot
heart-shaped-locket butterflies
are burning big holes
in each of my big lungs
and underneath my sternum.

black powder
smiles and laughs
are caressing my thoughts
and making me remember you
the way you used to be.


_____________________________________________

So this is what it's like to laughsmilecrydie.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

© Copyright 2008 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2008-12-27 11:56 PM


viking_metal - lot's of different emotions to deal with for sure...

BC

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
2 posted 2008-12-28 01:14 AM


BC, there are many.

And please suh, call me Paul.

-P

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2008-12-28 05:27 AM


I think this is very good, dear Paul!

Powerful emotions.

Love and joy.
Margherita

Anniepimm
Senior Member
since 2008-12-26
Posts 550
England
4 posted 2008-12-28 06:39 AM


Beautifully imaged and a sad moving write
Depicting the dangers of smoking

Thanks for sharing.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2008-12-28 09:46 AM


As for your own "Face", your photo is very dark on my monitor so I lightened it up and your handsome face popped out at me!

Forgive me if I have missed the mark on your poem, but is it about quitting smoking? Whatever your intent was, you certainly had some power-packing images in your poem!

May your new year be a glorious one!


EA


viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
6 posted 2008-12-28 02:10 PM


Margo rito- Thank you sweetheart, you're a real pal!

Annie- It's funny you say that, because it wasn't written about smoking at all, though now reading it I can COMPLETELY see what you mean! Thank you very much darlin'.


Earth angel, earth angel, one I adore- No! But I can completely see how one would get that from the poem! As usual, It's about a girl that isn't worth the time.  

And I don't know if I'd say handsome, but thanks very much ma'am.  

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
7 posted 2008-12-31 05:57 PM


Yo Paul,

One good memory is worth at least three bad ones.

Nice work on this poem.

Bobby

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
8 posted 2009-01-01 02:34 PM


Thanks Bobbus Maximus. You the man.

-P

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Callista
Member
since 2008-10-05
Posts 63
USA
9 posted 2009-01-01 08:45 PM


Great description of that burny choky feeling when painful emotions well up bigger than their vessel. The last line is really good.

"The Moving Finger writes, and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line.."

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