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Open Poetry #44
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"Return of the Beginning" & "The Visitor- Revisited"
| Open Poetry #44 |
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"Return of the Beginning" & "The Visitor- Revisited" |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy 
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Return of the Beginning he ate them like freshly baked cookies warm soft sweet Devouring her lips with all the hunger of a returning soldier. one by one, the other people in the room popped out leaving just two famished emotions starving for one another He felt her against him puzzle into puzzle a perfect fit like he had never left. The war had never taken his courage but it had taken most of his strength Without words, they made promises that would last until the final days of heaven. There was a life to return to home HOME h o m e sounded so wonderful He considered himself one of the lucky ones. His wife unwrapped her arms from around him and pushed his wheelchair to the door and said “It’s time to go home.” 12/12/08 ------------------------------------------ They didn’t mean to run into each other so something had to be said He wondered if his armor was thick enough she looked with feigned concern and told him that he had a wooden heart and a mason’s touch. the turning away, the bringing back words he’d heard and never wanted to hear again. He was ‘here’ now and she was still ‘there’ her own ghost haunting her past There is always time for revenge word weapons humility tear gas. He asked about her family She answered with flame delightfully licking at his wounds not to heal him but to taste his pain. When he had enough, he told her that it was good seeing her again For once, she had no reply except for the scream in her eye 120608 Jeff Feezle ------------------------------------ |
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| © Copyright 2008 Jeff Feezle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Jeff.. both of your poems were wonderful to read... so much emotion ... just wonderful! love RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Jeff...both of these flowed beautifully and had a powerful punch. Incredible imagery in the second...the first touched my heart. kat |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
really powerful stuff! I am particularly fond of this part of the second 'write': "There is always time for revenge word weapons humility tear gas. He asked about her family She answered with flame delightfully licking at his wounds not to heal him but to taste his pain." well done ... fine 'pennings'! |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Very beautiful poems! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Jeff - yes, very powerful poems. Was struck with the ending, perfect... BC |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Roniece, I greatly appreciate your kindness. Kat, Hey! and Merry Christmas- for that matter, Merry Christmas to ALL of ya! and I'm NOT afraid to say those words! LOL Much obliged for your encouragement, always! SecondHand- what could be a more powerful setup for imagery than two 'ex's' accidently running into each other? Who will light the fuse for the fireworks? OkieRose- Thanks, gal! Bill, I am glad the endings stuck with you. Heck, I never know if they're right or not. Endings are always the toughest for me. Hope y'all have a nice safe week! These are my first days off in over a month. Ahhhh....hog heaven! Jeff |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Jeff, Both of these poems carry so much power in their messages. You wrote them well, Messenger. I loved "Return of the Beginning" and I loved "The Visitor - Revisited. (smiles) How can I love one over the other? They both are fine poems. They both are very fine poems. Thank you for sharing them. Alison |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
My word! What a fine story-teller poet, ye be!!! I was filled with emotion as I read both of your awesome offerings. May the coming new year bring you and your loved ones peace, harmony, prosperity and joy!   EA |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
You're a fine poet, Threadbear. Ida |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Jeff the first one was brilliant, very poignant that touched the heart strings, so much enjoyed. The second one, well I'm not sure. Lindsay |
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threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Hi, Alison, and my continued thanks to your readings and ultra-kindness. I try to have two poems that have something in common that is key to the purpose of the poem. The other two poems in #43 were of course about my mom. Can you find the common thread between the two poems here? Thank you, Earth Angel. (i've always like that avatar.) My name on a former site was Shanachie (meaning story-teller)! Harry Chapin has had a big impact on my writing. I don't know if I envy his writing or his music more! Thank you, Ida. You are a writer to be admired. Lindsay, Thanks going out to Oz. The second one I have to apologize a bit for, since it was so pointed. I've always wanted to write about an accidental confrontation and how it might come out years after the split. Probably went over the top, though..... Thanks y'all! Jeff |
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YoungatHeart2 Member
since 2008-12-12
Posts 81 |
Carrying a desire for revenge is a black cloud over one's head... a curse that only the strongest of the strong can overtake. Your poems are wonderful as are all of your responses...always the personal touch. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fantastic...a pleasure to read...James |
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