yet another love poem (no title)

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Teen Poetry #1

yet another love poem (no title)

DoeEyes
Junior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 15
Florida

0 posted 1999-07-13 02:35 AM

I love being in love,
You say you'll love me forever.
I ask if you would cheat on me,
And you say there's no way, never.
You tell me I'm perfect,
Am I really to you?
It's so hard to believe
That someone could love me so true.
Whenever I'm around you,
I feel my heart just melt.
Cause you're SO sweet to me,
These are feelings I've never felt.
When you start going to college,
I hope things don't change.
You'll still be living near,
But it will be so strange
To go through a single day
Without seeing you,
To live for just a moment
Without your eyes so blue.
I wish I could express
Just what I'm feeling now.
A feeling full of love, so deep,
But I just don't know how.
You've changed my life,
For the better of course.
And taught me it's ok to love,
That I won't get hurt.
I want you to know
That I love you SO much,
So much that I tremble
From just one touch.
Thank you for being there,
And talking about everything with me.
I feel so much that I can trust you.
I just never knew how wonderful you would be.

Everyone, I wrote this poem to give my boyfriend, does anyone have any suggestions on how to make it better? Is it ok? I'd appreciate your comments. Thanks alot!

DreamEvil
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-07-15 07:50 AM

You might try balancing the flow by keeping the number of syllables in each line, nearly the same.

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I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say.
DreamEvil©

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