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Passions in Poetry

Through Familiar Eyes

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foxeh
New Member
since 09-23-2013
Posts 4
Louisiana


0 posted 11-12-2013 03:31 PM       View Profile for foxeh   Email foxeh   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for foxeh

I've been looking at myself in the mirror a lot more lately. Switching from a left angle, to a right. Raising my head in seduction, and lowering it in mystery. Running my fingers through my hair to disperse its autumnal essence. And? We really are the living embodiment of people descending us. Were the combination of two separate pieces of DNA combining to form one. Then? That one will repeat the cycle and become two. I see them in me and often ask myself; What would they do?

My best judgement would lead to what they would do. I've never been more confident in myself since now, despite the fall of two of the most precious people in my life. My confidence would of been best shared with my mom. It was about time to admit that yes, I actually started to love and even wear the floral prints I fought off so long ago; protesting that the color black was the only shade in existence. Or maybe give into the fact that I would say yes to knee high boots as opposed to Converse. My universe was changing in dark, but positive phases. Do I feel proud of myself? At times. There is just too much anger to express within all these days! I need more, damnit; ravenously! But oh the hurt that comes from it. The aftermath of guilt and hope that forgiveness is felt. Luckily, Im not only forgiven, Im loved unconditionally. I vomit, I clean, I vomit once more. Im only human.

The world has been seen through the seventies, lately. She always had the coolest sunglasses. My heart shaped lenses project a life that was once hers and his; and it was cool because she told me she didn't seem to mind, back then. *sneer* I cannot say that Im the hobbit.. Or the poet. But I certainly have a deep fascination for this world. I have an admiration for death for taking without remorse. I have an anger for death and want to rebel and prove that I can become immortal.. If.. I only try? Impossible. Do your thing when its time dude. This life is unlike anything else, but pain and suffering will follow. Remember when petrichor was the best smell during a long day of outside play? Remember when decorating your home for the holidays was almost better than the actual holiday? Remember when opening a couple of presents on Christmas Eve was essential? Some people may have not had that luxury, but I did. They gave all of this to me. They supplied my imagination with all it needed to grow and gain as an offbeat human being. The loneliness is transitory, but the longing is here. The longing to finally sing to him in person instead of curled up in the shadow of his death bed. The longing to engage in a more profound level of thinking and share that with her while I pick her brain. I wish this experience wouldn't have caused this new found understanding because now I cant listen and understand with them. I do my best to obtain more, because I am the living embodiment; and what she failed to do, I will strive. What he failed to understand, I will listen. I was two of the best people in existence, and I will continue to make them proud.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 11-12-2013 03:43 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

And it will be within you always, my dear, not only to remember them for the gifts they gave you, but I foresee that you will share with what you make with another, all of the gifts going forward, as it should be.

It would be easy to say that you have the gifts of your mother of words...but it is easy to see that you may, one day, surpass her. You have her honesty, as well.

I look forward to reading more from your head.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


2 posted 11-12-2013 04:59 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

As parents we strive to do less than what we received to much of and more of what we didn't get enough of. Wash, rinse, repeat. And it's always done with hope and love. We want better than ourselves. Familiar, and better. They did good.  She was proud and will continue to be. She loves, she laughs, she dances...with pride,.always with pride.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 02-08-2003
Posts 21103
Eternity


3 posted 11-12-2013 05:53 PM       View Profile for Margherita   Email Margherita   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Margherita

Thank you, dear Krista, for sharing your feelings here. Your words have a somewhat familiar sound ... our dear Karen is proud of you, there is no doubt, of how you approach your delicate situation and of how you face the challenges of life. Your Dad and your Mom will always whisper within your heart and watch over your every step.

Hugs.
Margherita

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


4 posted 11-12-2013 06:04 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Quoting you:  "Remember when opening a couple of presents on Christmas Eve was essential? Some people may have not had that luxury, but I did. They gave all of this to me. They supplied my imagination with all it needed to grow and gain as an offbeat human being. The loneliness is transitory

They indeed both gave you all you will ever need to be very special that is obvious, and right now they would be so proud of you.  You are angry and heck you should be!  I would be too given all that has been thrown at you.  In all of it you have still been seeking out the love that held you all together over and over, and that is the glue that will certainly fix you.  I know your mother would not have it any other way than for you to experience all this with its emotional ups and downs, and come out of it all a champ!

I am damn mad too, as I miss talking to her everyday, and listening to her infinite wisdom and humor, but the pain lessens each time I laugh at something she did or said.  

The anger and pain will soften, but the love you have will only grow stronger and stronger.  Keep writing out your feelings, if only in that darn journal I bought her!  LOL

Canuck hugs KB, you are someone very special like someone else I knew.


Carpe' Diem

foxeh
New Member
since 09-23-2013
Posts 4
Louisiana


5 posted 11-13-2013 10:19 AM       View Profile for foxeh   Email foxeh   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for foxeh

Thank you, everyone. I felt my creative juices flaring up yesterday and I felt like I should share what's on my mind. My brother and I had a late night discussion about how much we miss them. Tears were shed and I've never seen my brother cry so much in my life. I can now look back on the memories and smile, but not being able to interact with them in the present time when I'm discovering and learning so many new things? It hurts. There was no body like them, and they are irreplaceable as people. I took them for granted, especially my dad. Now there's nothing I want to do more than watch a movie with him. It's hard learning to live without them, but it's something I must do. Thank you all for your encouraging words. Expect for me to pop up in here every now and then. Not frequently, but just if I happened to write anything down. It's funny how often my mother posted in here. Feelings? She had a lot of em. lol
Thank you, all. <3
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 02-08-2003
Posts 21103
Eternity


6 posted 11-14-2013 09:05 AM       View Profile for Margherita   Email Margherita   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Margherita

Dear Krista, it is important to let the tears flow, they really are able to reduce stress and bring along those precious moments when we feel it is possible to go on with courage and determination. No, parents can't be replaced, but feelings of love and affection are flowing towards you both, you and your brother, from many sides. Being open to this flow of love will make you realize that indeed you are not left alone to cope with your daily challenges.
Write on ... we are here to listen.

Hugs.
Margherita
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 11-17-2013 03:25 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

You sound so much like your mom, Krista. (((HUGS)))
 
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