I'm probably too tired to compose much of any sense today, but after asking "why" so many times, through so many painful situations with family, friends, and even strangers in need, a simple thought, perhaps a rationale, I don't know, just occurred to me--and that is this--
maybe, just maybe the purpose of human suffering is to allow others for a chance at redemption, and each instance being particular to the situation, so that even if life seems like a perpetuation of pain, every instance just might be presented in order correct wrongful thinking, if not for you personally, than for someone else.
It's just a thought.
I'd like to think of it that way, anyhow. I simply can't tolerate the idea that it's all for nothing.
You might not agree, and that's okay. I just made the decision to look upon it that way myself--just about five minutes ago.
Call it a baloney rationale, or just dismiss the thought altogether. I'm making a decision to believe this in hopes that I will handle things this time around with a little more grace, dignity, compassion, and peace.
I might not be able to live it every second, and I'll still react with emotion and behave badly with displacement, but I'm going to try very hard to remember this thought that woke me up today.
I'm so glad this is a day of rest. I'm going back to bed, knowing full well I might not be able to stay
coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...? Half a cup, as my Dad used to say.