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friend nneds support

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since 07-14-2010
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0 posted 07-14-2010 02:39 PM       View Profile for cliche79   Email cliche79   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cliche79

hi everyone i have a friend who is house bound and has a really hard time trusting people because of living in a horible relationship for years and she now thinks that no one can help.  I have been able to get her to talk about her feelings with me to a point then she shuts down and I know that is a gut reaction to do when you are stepping out of your comfort zone but how can i get her to open up she needs to let this out because its making her sick
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
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British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 07-14-2010 10:11 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Your friend really needs the help of a qualified doctor.  Try to talk her into going to her own physician, and asking if she can get some counseling.  Sometimes we mean so well, but when someone is really depressed they need more, and different help than we can give.  Good luck to you and your friend.
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
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Listening to every heart

2 posted 07-14-2010 10:29 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Mys is right on target. Call those that can intervene, so that those with the right credentials can help your friend. After they have interceded, you can continue to help her by visiting, being an ear, a shoulder, a companion as she might require.

Bob K
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since 11-03-2007
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3 posted 07-15-2010 09:44 PM       View Profile for Bob K   Email Bob K   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bob K

     You underestimate the importance of being a friend, of being there, of sitting and listening and of gently urging your friend to get out of the house for a little stroll with you.  Mysteria and Sunshine are right in suggesting a counselor or a physician might be of help, and there are some useful self-help books as well for folks with depression, if depression is what's got your friend down.

      David Burns, M.D. is a well respected researcher and has written a book or two that a person can use by themselves or with the help of a friend, and it gets at the sort of thinking that makes a person feel stuck and sad.  It may not be a depression but some sort of problem with a phobia.  You can't really tell without talking with the person with the issue for a while, and what's more important for right now is the sense of hope.  Frequently, the sense of treatment being available may be enough to get somebody started to recovery.  

     Cognitive Therapy is an approach that works with either Depressio or Phobias, and it's usually very effective and is sometimes but not always used with medication.  Sit down with your friend and talk some of this stuff over.  There are certainly many other options, and the two of you can use talking them over as a way of helping you friend simply talk, period, which is in itself useful.  Use the computer and explore together.  Ask her what seems to be most interesting or least interesting and why.  Be a friend, above all.  

     Help her into treatment, as Mysteria and Sunshine have said.  It's great advice.

     You should be able to find some sort of a referral network in your area if you check listings for the American Psychological Asociation, The American Psychiatric Association, or The National Association of Social Workers.

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