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Well, Random things i need help with.
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Well, Random things i need help with. |
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xsaamaanthaax Junior Member
since 2008-11-28
Posts 21USA, Arizona. |
Lets, see. I'm sixteen. In love with someone who is older than me. Been together for two years. yeah yeah yeah, like everyone says, "Your not in love" The first year of our relationship, he was the perfect guy to me, loved me, acted like he cared for me, was there, respected me and trusted me. I screwed it all up. I cheated on him (worst mistake of my life) I was drunk not to mention it. He found out, I had to tell him the truth after i lied to him about it. Why i cheated on someone I love, care about, and want to spend the rest of my life with? Who knowes. But i sure did. We were still together when he found out. It's been about four moths since then. He still does not trust me, he dosnt act like he cares about me anymore, never talks to me, never has "time" to see me. But still says he loves me. And I love him to. I want it back to old times. But i want him to trust me again, which is a hard thing to do obviously for him. But i wish he would understand I would never do such a thing to him .. ever again. Hes still my life and my world, I still want to spend the rest of my life with him. But the ways he has been acting, just hurts me endlessly. He is just not treating me right. I have tried to break it off with im, but two days later im the little girl running back to him, because i feel like I can not live my life without him. I need advise, I need something to look at and give me strength, anything? opinion? Yes i know that was along story, but only to make you understand. thanks |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
16 is young, but doesn't mean you can't love or be loved. The thing is? If you really loved just him you would not have cheated on him. It is that simple. You can't blame it on being drunk either. Take responsibility for what you did, the end. He can either forgive you and move on, or he can't. It sounds to me like he can't. I don't know that he should. If you want to be in a mature relationship, you have to act like it. If you want to fix this, you need to talk to him and see where his feelings are. I'm guessing he is pretty hurt. He can either get past it or not. But he can't "punish" you emotionally either. That isn't fair to you. And by the way under age drinking? Not cool. Maybe you should try being sober. Blaming it on the drinking isn't exactly fair, you did it. whatever the case, you have to talk to him and get this out in the open and see if you two can salvage your relationship. If you can't then move on. I'm not trying to come down on you hard, but if you are going to ask, I'm going to be honest.  |
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xsaamaanthaax Junior Member
since 2008-11-28
Posts 21USA, Arizona. |
I appreciate your honesty. I would rather have honesty then someone saying that everything is going to be okay and blah blah blah. Yeah i had a alcohol problem in the past. Totally over with that. See, the thing is, we have talked about it, he just pushes everything away. I don't even know how long this relationship is going to last anymore. It hurts alot, to think of the end. but, I have heard from many people that it was not meant to be if this is the way he is going to act, and that is the way i treated him. I do love him, only him. I did make a mistake while i was drinking. I would have never done that if I had not been under the influence and was practically talked into doing it. I was scared to confront my boyfriend about what I did, for to loose him. Which is basically what I did. I take it out on myself everyday. Thank you for your feedback. |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
I'm not much for giving advice, but seeing that i'm about the same age as you, and knowing how it is to be in love with someone, all i can really say is sometimes Love isn't enough. No matter what happens you'll get through it and in the end you'll find out who your true love is. I love pancakes!!! |
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xsaamaanthaax Junior Member
since 2008-11-28
Posts 21USA, Arizona. |
I suppose. My heart won't let him go. But obviously hes letting me go slowly. I can't stand it. I suppose I will see what happens in the end. Thanks for replying. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Before you cheated on him, he surely had cared about you more then you can understand. But when you cheated on him.. Well that's destroying the trust you two use to share. If I were him I'd ask myself what other things did you lie about to cover your mistakes. Your boy friend I think is seriously hurting on the inside. He must be hurting not being with you. Maybe it would be best to move on... But if you really cared about him explain why you did it and that you truly love him. I agree with SEA drinking underage isn't really good for you and blaming it on that isn't smart.. It was your choice to do it so step up to your mistakes and fix them. I know this might sound harsh but like SEA I'm being honest. Best wishes, -Zach I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP |
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bellalovessomeone New Member
since 2008-11-20
Posts 9 |
Obviously If you Really Truly loved him you wouldt'n have cheated. so maybe you need to take a look at this relationship and see is it really the GUY your in love with or the IDEA your in love with |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I have a separation of thought when it comes to cheating. We all have those urges, it's just a matter of controlling them. You drank something that inhibits that control, you let yourself make that mistake, and in a sense that was your own fault. On the other hand, it is perhaps that you weren't happy to begin with that you did what you did, and an old song plays in my head, "Don't know what you got till it's gone"... Sometimes we need or want things more when they no longer "belong" to us..that doesn't usually mean that it has to be. Forgiveness? If he can't grant you that, then it's best to move on. It's easier that way. You will find love again, no worries, time will heal all wounds..I swear that's true. But by waiting for him to actually forgive you, you are creating more and more pain for yourself than you actually need. Forgive yourself, that's more important. Try to remember that just because you acted on impulse while you were under the influence, doesn't mean that's who you really are. I know it hurts, but I suppose that it hurts more because you made the mistake and the burden is upon you. Let it go, and move forward. Mistakes are mistakes, and we all have to learn from them. |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear X...x, What do you mean when you say that you're totally over that? Do you mean you've stopped drinking? Do you mean you've stopped spending time in situations where you spend time alone with other guys? Does it mean that you understand what made you pick up the alcohol in the first place and use it in an out-of-control way? Does it mean that you've started to go to an AA meeting for teens in your area and started to listen to the stories of teens that have issues with booze to see if any of them sound at all familiar? These are things that it might be useful to consider. You don't have to be an alcoholic to get help from AA; but having gotten into trouble with alcohol at least once means that there is stuff that they can help you with, if you let them. And learning how to be honest with one's self is an affliction that most of us can eventually learn to suffer with with minimal damage to anything but our own grandiosity. The less grandiose one is, the easier it is to walk through interesting new doorways without getting caught on the doorframe. Thoughts? Comments? Yours sincerely, and still struggling with his own puffed up self, Bob Kaven |
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Penwing Member
since 2009-07-27
Posts 73Waverly, MN |
i am sorry about your whole mess i agree with most of the above posts with this added if he cant find it in his heart to forgive you then you and him need to move on so you CAN find the one that was truely meant fot you dont meen to be stern i do feel bad for you people make mistakes good luck, Penwing |
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