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freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA

0 posted 2008-10-29 11:43 PM



Well I'm going through some confusing times. I feel so many emotions, I don't know what to do. At the moment it's so hard for me to distinguish wrong from right.

I have a situation where I have to choose between two things, either what I want or what God may want for me. I've asked poeple for there advice or opinion and all I basicly get is " Follow your heart"

The problem is, what if your heart pulls you in two completey directions? What do you do then?

"Life is too confusing, but I like it that way!"

© Copyright 2008 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2008-10-30 06:30 AM


Well it depends on your age and your life experiences as to what you should follow.

Following your heart can get you into a lot of trouble depending on what you are going after.  And  waiting to see what God  has in store for you to me means he is giving you choices in life and you must be the one to make the best choice for you. You can't "blame God" for mistakes or confusion. Weigh the good and bad and let time lead the way, especially if it is about "love".

M

SEA
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with you
2 posted 2008-10-30 10:09 AM


I think God wants you to make the best decision, for yourself. If you aren't hurting anyone, then hey...you aren't hurting anyone.
I think that should be what matters. Follow your heart means, I don't want to take responsibility for the advice you want me to give you. If you aren't breaking the law, if no one is getting hurt, including and especially you, then you should still look at it from all angles(at least as many as you can think of) and talk to someone you trust for help. You can email me if you like. It's kind of vague what you are saying here...you can email me and it will stay confidential. Or? talk to someone there that you know will be able to break it down for you. Good luck

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
3 posted 2008-10-31 10:38 PM


Thanks!!!

"Life is too confusing, but I like it that way!"

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
4 posted 2008-11-02 03:31 PM


You'll never go wrong following God's way.  If in doubt just what that is, pray and seek Christian counsel.  The bible covers all circumstances and pretty much tells us our emotions are very poor guides.  We should feel the way we feel because we do what we do..not do what we do because we feel like we feel.  To me, following your heart is the same as following your emotions....not good.

It's as though we see something we like but don't really think we should spend the money on it.  If we steal it...that's emotion.

Biblically, we know not to steal so either we spend what we don't think we should or we manage to forgo our wishes.  Neither of those feel good, but are better choices than just following our emotions.

Hope it helps,
  Rae

Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

5 posted 2008-11-03 12:09 PM




Dear freeand2sexy,

          For actual advice, you haven't offered me enough information to be of use.

     Is there some reason you need to be so circumspect?  Folks would probably be able to give you better feedback if they knew more details about your choices.  Is it between taking holy orders and joining the army?  Termination of a pregnancy or carrying a child to term?  Dating a boy your folks don't like or leading a celibate life forever?  Becoming a Muslim or an atheist?  Devoting your life to tennis or nuclear physics?

     Outside advice will vary depending on the conflict and those you ask about it.

     One way of helping you might find useful is by making the parts of each choice more and more specific.  Since the conflict of  Tennis or nuclear Physics is probably highly unlikely, it might be a useful example.  You start out by taking one of the two choices and stating it in a sentence:

"I want to devote my life to tennis."

     Having gotten this basic description of one part of your choice out, the idea is to make that sentence as fully specific as you can possibly make it.  The more completely you can specify the details, the clearer the decision will be to you after you run through the process with the nuclear physics half, later on.  So, you ask yourself, what do you mean, exactly, when you say "devote your life to tennis?"  Could you make that part of the sentence more explicit, please?

    " I want to spend the next 20 years of my life playing tennis."  

     On what level, specifically, do you want to play tennis for the next 20 years?

     "I want to spend the next 20 years of my life playing professional tennis."

     With whom, specifically, will you play professional tennis over the next 20 years of your life?

     "I want to spend the next 20 years of my life playing professional tennis with professional tennis players."

     And what, specifically, will you have to do to play tennis with professional tennis players for the next 20 years of your life?"

     "I will have to practice seven hours a day, seven days a week, reach a professional level of play myself, and be able to win enough money on the circuit to support myself for that period of time, be able to save enough money to have money for retirement, and make decisions about relationships and children that I find I am comfortable with over that period of time and later so I may play tennis for the next twenty years of my life."

     I can stop there, feeling I have given a decent example of what I mean.  If you can go through this process with both sides of your conflict, the odds are that the conflict will tend to clarify itself and one side or the other will begin to look like the better course of action.  The idea is simply to get each side as fully specified as you possibly can.  The premise is that these things look as though they are in conflict because they haven't been examined as fully as they need to be, and once you do this the solution will emerge naturally.

     Lacking a description of the problem, it's the best I can offer you right now.  I hope it's of some use.

Sincerely, Bob Kaven

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
6 posted 2008-11-03 11:37 PM


Rae,

Thanks for reminding me that I can't go wrong with God's way and the emotion thing makes so much sense. You've made me think a little more. Thanks for the help.

Bob,

I guess I'm a little cautious about what I post. I have low self-esteem and scared of what people may think of me, whether I know them or not. I don't like to be judged, probably because I've felt like I've been judged most of my life.

I was born into a Christian family, excepted Christ at the age of 8, and made sure everyone knew I was a Christian. I felt like I had to be perfect, because people judged me, friends, family, and others I barely knew. My family had and still has high expectations for me and friends assume that because I'm a Christian, that I dont have problems like they do, that life is easier for me.

Now I'm in this situation where I have to choose which way I'm going in life. I have to choose what I gain and what I loose. Its a problem I thought I would never have. If someone were to tell me 2 years ago that I would end up feeling the way I feel now, I would never believe it.

So whatever I just wrote explains why my post was so vague. Thanks so much for the advice you were able to give me. It truely does help me alot.

   -Christine

"Life is too confusing, but I like it that way!"

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
7 posted 2008-11-07 10:01 AM


Me again, Christine.  For years, I tried to be a 'people pleaser'due to insecurity, I'd guess.  Finally, realizing one can never please all people, the truth became evident.  When we do our best to please God, confessing our sins, learning and improving our walk with Christ, what others think is not important.  To those who expect you to be perfect, say, "God knows I'm a sinner, but loves me anyway.   Look at all those who ridiculed Jesus as He suffered unbelievably."  What you are suffering, Christine, is God refining you, making you a better person because you've chosen His way.  Lot, in the bible, suffered horrendously.  Even his wife told him to curse God to end it.  Of course, Lot was tremendously blessed by God because he kept his faith.

God bless,
  Rae

Falling rain
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since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
8 posted 2008-11-08 11:54 PM


Hah! I've gotten that same reply sooo many times. I've been where you have been hun... If we're on the same page.. lol. But letting your heart take control will let you be free. God knows which path you will follow and will love you even if you make mistakes. He'll always be with you even though it seems like He's never there. Do what you feel is right or wrong. What ever you choose... Okay that's practically saying "Follow your Heart" Oh jeez.. Sorry for the inconvenience.. -shrugs- If you need to talk and all you can email me whenever.

-Zach

I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP

Rocky
Junior Member
since 2008-06-12
Posts 25

9 posted 2008-11-18 11:21 AM


Well, if you want my advice. Just follow what God says.
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
10 posted 2008-11-18 08:16 PM


Well i'm still confused with my situation, and i've decided to follow God and do what he wants me to do, but i'm finding it a lil difficult to follow. Its hard but i'm taking it one day at a time

Thanks guys for all the help!!!!!!!!

"Life is too confusing, but I like it that way!"

SEA
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Member Seraphic
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Posts 22676
with you
11 posted 2008-11-18 11:46 PM


be true to yourself. I'm not saying be selfish. Not at all. But listen to your own thoughts. Believe in what you know. I think God likes us to figure things out for ourselves, we have intuition for a reason. And remember, God doesn't hate. Keep your heart honest and you can't go wrong. I hope it works out.
xsaamaanthaax
Junior Member
since 2008-11-28
Posts 21
USA, Arizona.
12 posted 2008-11-28 02:51 AM


I agree, im in a bad love situation myself. About the god thing of choosing between two things. I do not beleive that is all true. And follow your heart? Who can do that? your heart dosnt have a brain like you do! What do you think is the right choice? look at the right and wrongs of the situation. If you can't do that. Then all I can say is whatever happens, happens. Your the only one who can make the choice of what YOU wanna do. Bad mixed emoitons may come with whatever you choose, but hey, thats life. Been there done that. still doing it. I'm not the type of person to pick one from another, i go by the motto of, whatever happens happens, because whatever does happen was obiously meant to be. I hope i gave you a bit of advise. If not i understand. I don't exactly agree with alot of people.
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