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Complaining?

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Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3406
In your dreams


0 posted 10-01-2008 12:47 AM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

I suffer from an anxiety disorder.  I guess I suffer from allot of things.  I also have sight (Spotted blindness and spotted dyslexia) issues and hearing(multiple noises make sound fussy) issues.  

I am not sure why but everyone is so critical of me.  I try to explain to them that I take more time studying and explaining things because of these issues.  They turn around and say quit complaining!

The Truth is I don't feel as though I am complaining, because, except for the anxiety issues, I appreciate those things.  

The anxiety, however, I still don't think I am complaining. This reason is, because I am always afraid ... For absolutely no reason at all. It is not an excuse but a state I live in. O_o I am much better now, but I still need allot of work.\

So I think I am just going to ignore their criticisms and accept that I am misunderstood, because I am anything but lazy and I work very hard.


What do you think I should do?

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19405
Between the Lines


1 posted 10-01-2008 12:13 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Juju, I have had anxiety attacks in the past( actually self - caused). The best thing to do is keep busy and keep your mind off of things that can upset you. Do the things that you enjoy, be around people that make you feel good and care about you and try not to worry so much about tomorrow since we can't control things that haven't happened yet.  Study for your schooling and do the best you can. That is all anyone can  do.

If those who are close to you think you are complaining then find a group of others who have similar problems with anxiety (and there are many especially with this  economy) who can help you learn to relax. Listen to music, take walks or bike rides...exercise, do  activities you like even if they are by yourself.

Maureen
Ringo
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-20-2003
Posts 3707
Saluting with misty eyes


2 posted 10-01-2008 01:56 PM       View Profile for Ringo   Email Ringo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ringo

If they want to walk in front of you and look back, then let them keep walking.
If they want to walk behind you and chastise you, stop, let them pass, and then let thyem keep going.

The only people you need to concern yourself with are those of us who are willing to walk beside you and be your friend.

What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?.
www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67995
Listening to every heart


3 posted 10-01-2008 02:35 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Ringo said that so eloquently, I think I'll let his advice stand.

Well, maybe a little herb and spice of patience, and understanding, that you are prone to knowing some people who just don't have a speck of either.

And I'll send some , too.
ramisf
Member
since 05-17-2007
Posts 93


4 posted 10-03-2008 03:30 AM       View Profile for ramisf   Email ramisf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ramisf

Each problem has its own solution. you should find solutions to your problems before they take over your life. you are the person living and you should do your best to enjoy it to the max otherwise you will find yourself left behind and everybody ahead of you
A Friend who Cares (I've been there but it took me a while to get out of anxiety)
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


5 posted 10-04-2008 11:39 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

.


Read Alan Booth's The Roads to Sata


.
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


6 posted 11-23-2008 10:05 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

Juju, Try going back over your writings and see if they sound like complaints  to you.  Correct what you think needs it and if nothing apprears to need it, get on with life and forget it.  What IS very important in life is that you manage to get along with others even if they're quite different from you, and that you have an understanding of your beliefs and the strength to stand up for them.  

If you would dislike someone because they believe differently from you, then you'll worry about the same thing happening to you.  If you can coexist with people of other beliefs, then you'll trust that others can do likewise.  Don't spend your life dwelling on whether or not others like you, and you'll find more people do like you.

You're a lovely gal, but picking apart every thing that happens to tell if another likes or doesn't like you, is unfair to the others and to yourself.  If others feel they have to walk on eggs for fear of upsetting you, they will distance themselves from you.  Adopt a little more of the live and let live philosophy of life.  Live, love, laugh and be happy.  Forgive and assume you're forgiven when you sincerely apologize for erring, then forget it and do something productive.

I'll bet you're just brimming with untapped talents that'll blossom!

  (((((hugs))))),
     Rae
Bob K
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since 11-03-2007
Posts 3860


7 posted 11-24-2008 01:59 PM       View Profile for Bob K   Email Bob K   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bob K



Dear Juju,

          Is the anxiety disorder self diagnosed or is it diagnosed by a professional?  There are folks around who will self-diagnose an anxiety disorder or other psychological disorders because giving a name to troublesome feelings and behavior offers a sort of relief.  Self diagnosis is even sometimes correct, but it's better if it's backed up by skillful professional diagnosis, which usually comes with a treatment plan.

  Anxiety disorder, like many of the depressive disorders tends to respond well to cognitive therapy, sometimes called cognitive behavior therapy, which focuses on how the way people think gets them in trouble with their feelings.  There are a fair number of people trained in cognitive therapy, and it is fairly widely available.  I know that there are manuals for cognitive treatment of depression there's a nice one by David Burns and there may be some good self-help manuals for  cognitive treatment of anxiety disorders.  All this assumes that you have the right diagnosis.  

     There are often some factors in anxiety disorders that have an overlap with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder where the person has difficulty staying focused on single issues for long enough to put together any carry out plans of action.  Their attention may hop about a bit.

     I don't know how you feel about medication, but sometimes is can be helpful if it is is well prescribed.  I'd suggest that you look at some of the books by Dr. Daniel Amen, who is pretty cutting edge as far as medication goes, and in some of his books provides questionaires and pretty thorough explanations for which medications may help which situations and above all why.

     He even has a sort of cognitive therapy that he seems to have adapted for use with his drug approach.

     You may also find group psychotherapy useful for this sort of thing.  Group therapy is very useful for offering support and helping people to feel better about themselves.  Depending on the therapist, you may also find it useful for making very specific changes in your life; but that depends on the therapist and the use you make of the group.  Many groups are not oriented to that sort of specific work.

     If I can be helpful in any way, please drop me an e-mail.  I'll try to pass along back this way to see if there's anything I can do to follow up, so you won't need to e-mail, but if I don't get back to you in a day or two, feel  free.  I will be going out of town from time to time next month.

Take care, Juju,

Bob Kaven  
Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3406
In your dreams


8 posted 12-08-2008 12:58 AM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

Diagnosed by a professional
I am not ADD
I am not depressed

I under went behavioral therapy.  Now I am on my own.  I get better every day,  however I still have some problems I need to work out on my own.


-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


9 posted 03-22-2009 02:46 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Juju

It's humans... We all have problems getting alone with some people in the world. It's amazing how the mind works. Juju, just remember that you are who you are and that should make you happy. Don't worry what others say

LOL sorry I am a little too late with this! ~


ARCTIC WIND
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


10 posted 03-22-2009 11:49 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"Remember what the dormouse said;
"FEED YOUR HEAD"'

Jefferson Airplane

Bob K
Member Elite
since 11-03-2007
Posts 3860


11 posted 03-23-2009 12:51 AM       View Profile for Bob K   Email Bob K   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bob K



Dear Juju,

          I hadn't seen the posting where you spoke of getting some behavioral treatment for your anxiety disorder.  I was out of town a lot in December dealing with my father's terminal illness, and didn't have a lot of energy for much else.  I am sorry.  It sounds that you made  lot of changes in a brief time, as is often possible with somebody with your level of motivation and a good heart.  

     Therapy is never really finished, you know, you simply reach a new level of issues to deal with.  Often you find, as it sounds that you did, that you have the wherewithal to tackle things now that you hadn't thought yourself able to only a little while before.  If you need a little extra work, you can always  go back for a focus on the new set of issues.  If you're not pleased with yourself, you certainly have earned the right to be.  As simply reading the first note in your thread here and the last of your comments in the thread should be able to remind you, just by noticing the difference.

     All the best,  Bob Kaven
DaysofView
Member
since 04-01-2014
Posts 427
Just A Slice Of The Pie


12 posted 06-10-2017 12:01 AM       View Profile for DaysofView   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DaysofView

...and?

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not like the passengers screaming in the back of his car.

 
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