Member Rara Avis
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
I think that my junior high years were pretty unsettling. I think mostly I felt apprehensive when faced with the thought of starting High School. I remember feeling as if I was on a balance beam. One leg was flailing out towards childhood and keeping all that I knew. The other leg was kind of pushed out towards growth - becoming a freshman loomed on my mind. I changed schools, didn't know many people ... and I was frightened of change.
I am not saying this is what you are going through. I will never patronize you and assume to know what your feelings mean. I can only look back and reflect upon the time that I was your age. It was hard for me.
I couldn't drive yet. I felt almost trapped as if I were a hostage of my parents. My Mom and I started snitting and arguing. It was tough. My body was going whacko - my emotions were way out of line. I wanted to write but sucked at poetry (you are so far better than I was at your age). I tried to keep a journal but I embarrased myself when I went back to read it.
I don't know if I was 'melancholy' or just going into my teenage years. Whoever said that the years you are going into are the best years of your life ... well, that was one sick individual. It might be the best years for some - I think many of us just hung on and went for the ride.
It gets better. I am not diminishing how you feel - but be prepared for lots more questions to come your way. Your mind will be manufacturing them when you sleep at night!