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Junior Member
since 10-20-2007
Posts 38
New Hampshire, USA

0 posted 12-01-2007 12:05 AM       View Profile for Derek   Email Derek   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Derek

I am a very shy guy, so I feel a little weird doing this, but I need some input.

I basically found out today that my last girlfriend I had used me to get her ex jealous, And I the whole time we were dating it seemed like she was over him. I really liked her a lot, and when I found out about the whole jealous thing, it made me feel like crap. I dont have any feelings for her now, but I dont know what to think any more.
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

1 posted 12-01-2007 12:50 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

Hi Derek,

If it is something that is going to be on your mind, maybe you need to ask her.  Instead of looking to her, I would probably wonder about the motivation of the one who told you your past girlfriend.

It always hurts a bit to find out that people may have had an agenda in a relationship that we shared with them.  But, it's kind of a life lesson.  It happens - and you are no longer with that girl.  So, while it hurts a bit, it's not much of an issue any longer.

As hard as it is, I'd just move forward and not take this too much to heart.  Past is just that and your future is ahead of you.  The lessons we learn guide us into that future and help determine what kind of people we wish to be.  Concentrate on you and know that people like your ex-girlfriend (if she really did use you) may have a hard time finding their happiness.  

We all walk our own road - don't let anyone else steer you from what you want and what kind of people you want to associate with.

Good luck - have a piece of chocolate, taste the good and don't let others get to you.

Member Elite
since 07-27-2007
Posts 2111

2 posted 12-01-2007 12:53 AM       View Profile for TomMark   Email TomMark   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TomMark

You did nothing wrong. But one thing you want to learn is that how you judge that a person (a lady) like you. I don't believe that you missed the signs that she has not focused on you.

Good girls are everywhere. and more are kinder, smarter and prettier and more honest.


Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart

3 posted 01-07-2008 08:26 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Derek, just a little personal interchange here...guys do it to gals, too! I know. It happened to me a few decades ago; wow, for a married/divorced woman, I felt supremely used.

And then I dumped all of his "gifts" on the hood of his car in front of his girlfriend's apartment.

Let him explain that.

Then, almost immediately? Things got better!

Junior Member
since 01-10-2008
Posts 11

4 posted 01-11-2008 07:59 AM       View Profile for JEZZ24   Email JEZZ24   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JEZZ24

Hi Derek
I feel for you, it's never nice to feel as though you have been used.
You say that you have no feelings for her anymore but the fact that you have let this get to you says otherwise.
She is not worth your thoughts, move on and all will be well.... Chin up and keep smiling
Junior Member
since 01-07-2008
Posts 10

5 posted 01-11-2008 07:45 PM       View Profile for joe86s   Email joe86s   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for joe86s

i feel ya, same thing happened to me

found out six months into a relationship that the girl still liked her ex. oh well

it doesnt mean she didnt have feelings for you--i certainly don't think my ex was pretending the whole time.

just, as people will be, fickle and uncertain.
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