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Kimberly ann
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61


0 posted 2007-06-17 10:01 PM


Well some of you know about my last boyfriend who flirted a lot with other girls. Well i have another!! Except i need i lot of advice this time! We will be dating for 8 months on the 19th and we have known each other about a year and we have only had 1 fight that entire time. This fight was 2 weekends ago and it was because he went to a girls (her name was Jessica) that is in love with him and he knew it and he was kinda leading her on. So i was really worried that the girl would try to do something and he wouldn't stop her. so then my friends just had to get involved trying to protect me but it only made it worse and we ended up yelling at each other and we finally worked things out....i thought. then his best friend came to me and said look i know how much you like him but he likes another girl and that girl was my friend!(her name Tia) and both we had gone out he was head over heals for Tia and would try so hard for her to like him well now she likes him!!! So i am worried that he will break up with me go out with her!! How do i deal with that? Also he hangs out with all these girls outside of school and all of them like him and are trying to get him to break up with me! Then this weekend he went to this wedding and well he screwed up more than once and if he got caught he would be in huge trouble!! which made me made because that is against all that i live for and he knows that he can lose me over it so he said he would stop but what doesn't make sense to me is that he knows that he is close to losing me but yet he keeps this little thing between my friend and him. i have seen the texts between them and its so bad that i almost start crying!!! If he didn't want to lose me that bad he would stop and make sure to be good right? how do i deal with that like how do i say oh i know you like my friend because i know he'll deny it and if i say well I’ve seen the texts he'll get mad at my friend and my friend will get mad at me for telling him! i am so hurt right now that i don’t trust my decisions because i'm scared that i'll blow up and say things i don’t mean!! Do you have any suggestion?
© Copyright 2007 Kimberly ann - All Rights Reserved
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
1 posted 2007-06-17 11:01 PM


Kimberly, close your eyes, picturing this boyfriend not nearly as attractive visually so other girls are not falling at his feet.  There's just you and him.  Does HE conduct himself in a way that you're content with?  Would you want him to be the Father you and your kids celebrate this day with?  If he's not mature enough to appreciate you, consider it a learning experience and move on.  Hope that helps, Dear.  Don't lower you expectations.  Guys always look, but they don't have to sneak.
   Rae

Kimberly ann
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61

2 posted 2007-06-18 12:17 PM


Before this fight he was the guy that i was always wanted. me and my friends would sit down and describ our perect boy. and he fit that all the way, and had so much more. he brought back my happiness that i lost from the last heartache! he would be the perfect guy to  raise a kid with when we get older(of corse) he appreciates me i know this because he shows me everyday. thank you so much for the help!!!!
**hugs**
kimerbly

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
3 posted 2007-06-18 08:01 AM


I don't have any advice, just some perspective realities you may care to consider.

There's no perfect boy, and no way to tell if a boy will be a great father to any prospective children.

No boy should be given so much power over your life or your heart.

Constant drama can cause one to lose a grip on simple values, such as being able to sleep at night, health, education, social or personal activities that promote inner peace or purpose. Without these things one can become very drained and appear aged, bitter and hopeless--instead of young, bright and shining, and ready to meet the day.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 2007-06-18 11:47 AM


Why in the world would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you!!! I know how difficult it can be and that words don't make anything feel better, but remember that it's much better to be alone than together with someone who doesn't really want to be there... sticking it out with that person might make you miss an opportunity to be with someone who does want to be with you.
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2007-07-19 10:58 AM


I'm with Chris.

I know your young and that boys are important at the moment....BUT...NO one is worth being unsure of yourself. If you have doubts then you have to address them. If he makes you feel bad about them then he is definately not the right guy for you.

Remember...red flags mean something and we should never dismiss them.

Much luck

Marilyn

StormyB
Junior Member
since 2007-07-18
Posts 42
Ohio Usa
6 posted 2007-07-19 11:57 PM


I would confront him with the text messages.
Infrount of your friend.

Kimberly ann
Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61

7 posted 2007-07-26 11:49 PM


well i talked to him about it all and he denied it all...so then i told him about the texts that i saw and he said that his friend was using his phone so then without him knowing i called his friend and asked and he said he was just messing around...so i just kinda blew it off so i'm still with him and he had changed a lot because i did talk to him about all of this so he has changed and he seems to want to be with me and has proven himself...
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