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Pretty enough?

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Kira Aso
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since 09-26-2006
Posts 350
Closer to Hell...


0 posted 01-05-2007 07:01 PM       View Profile for Kira Aso   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kira Aso



I know that people say that looks arenít everything (I donít think they are) but lots of people go by the way other people look and dress. Iíve always been really self-conscious about my appearance. My boyfriend tells me Iím beautiful all the time but every time I go into his room I see posters of gorgeous girls on his walls. It makes me wonder if Iím his dream girl or if his REAL dream girl has a big chest and perfect complexion.
I know everyone has their own idea about beauty as I have my own but still Iíd like to know ďAm I pretty enough?Ē. Or am I just a hit and run?


serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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1 posted 01-05-2007 07:45 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

On the surface of things, sadly, we are all sort of programmed by our experience as to what is appealing or unattractive.

All I can say is that I have seen some stunningly beautiful people in my time, in the physical, and less than two minutes of conversation with them changed my entire outlook, emotionally.

Even with no picture posted, I can say that just the fact that you are honest and willing to be vulnerable enough to ask for an honest answer to an honest question makes you pretty enough--for me. I think that it makes you courageous and sweet, at the same time. (Not an easy combo, either.)

Kira Aso
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since 09-26-2006
Posts 350
Closer to Hell...


2 posted 01-06-2007 09:23 AM       View Profile for Kira Aso   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kira Aso


So sweet of you to say! Thankyou much for the kind comment.

Hugs and Hershey bars!!
Luv Kira
Essorant
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since 08-10-2002
Posts 4689
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada


3 posted 01-06-2007 03:50 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

Think of it as houses.
Maybe those other "houses" are nice to look at, but do they offer the love, comfort, memories, and sweetness of a place he may call "home"?
sandgrain
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


4 posted 01-06-2007 09:49 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

Kind of hard to find real companionship in a poster, regardless of what it looks like.  You're not a shapely body on a piece of paper.  You're a real live energetic, emotional, intellegent person.  There's no competition there at all.  It may be great to read a good book, but it certainly can't replace live friend.  Same thing, dearie.

God bless.
  Rae
PS  If your boyfriend is not making you feel good about yourself, he needs to be replaced.
Essorant
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since 08-10-2002
Posts 4689
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada


5 posted 01-06-2007 10:40 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

Do you know what the pret in pretty means?
hunnie_girl
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since 06-18-2006
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6 posted 01-09-2007 10:14 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

I don't know what does it mean????
and Kira beauty is as beauty does
hunnie
Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


7 posted 01-10-2007 11:39 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Well I have to tell you that you could look just like those posters as I can assure you that with a bit of air brushing and a nip and tuck of the computer your picture would be just as spectacular.  However, we live in a real world, that is why they sell posters in the first place, for people to fantasize about the unreal.  The one thing to always bear in mind is that men will always look, but it's where they come home to that counts.  It's when they quit looking that I get really worried.   I am sure that did not help one bit, but I do think that if you don't know your own beauty, then others will never see it.
Essorant
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since 08-10-2002
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Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada


8 posted 01-10-2007 11:55 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

The pret or rather prett in pretty comes from Old English prśtt meaning "trick, prank." !  
Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
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Realms of Light


9 posted 01-16-2007 03:21 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Many a girl and woman has wondered that very same thing. ~ Even if they are considered pretty! They wonder if they "stack" up to other women.

In actuality, when I was younger, I often attracted men that were shallow and more into appearances. As I have aged, I have gained a few pounds and I am appreciated more for my "wit and charm"! lol Seriously speaking, as I mature, my ideal man does not have to be millimeter perfect in my eyes either! I prefer a self-realized, kind, dependable, loving man.

I absolutely adore the responses that your post has received! Some great advice there! ~ and lots of caring.

"Pretty" truly is in the eye of the beholder and I can see that you are very pretty on the inside! ~ and that is where it counts!

And don't forget, it is YOU that your boyfriend wants to have in his life! Forget his "art gallery" and know that it is you that he wants!

Giving you a big hug o' love,
EA

Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
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Purgatorial Incarceration


10 posted 01-16-2007 04:28 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

A woman in a picture can be the epitome of beauty - but only because there is no personality to directly associate with the skin and bones package.

Beauty is NOT skin deep - it permeates through the entirety of a person. Part of what makes some women pretty is their personality; you might see them in a still shot and not think too much of them, but in person, with their personality shining through, might see them as beautiful. Or vice versa, as Karen mentioned.

Perhaps that's what your boyfriend sees - he may look at those pictures and see an "ideal," but see you, with your personality and realize you're just as pretty or even more so... reality is usually better than fantasy anyway.
Kira Aso
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since 09-26-2006
Posts 350
Closer to Hell...


11 posted 01-18-2007 11:07 PM       View Profile for Kira Aso   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kira Aso


I'm very suprised at the responses I got for this post! Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and kind advice. I'm very happy that you each took the time to give out some of your wisdom and support. (It's very much appreciated!)

Thankyou much!
Hugs and kisses
Kira


LeeJ
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since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


12 posted 01-22-2007 12:21 PM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

I have to say, you've received some very good responses here...

I wouldn't let some posters upset the apple cart or cause less doubt in my own self esteem...besides, haven't you ever had a crush on a teacher, movie star or rock star?  Sometimes that crush you feel is what you believe that person is like inside.  Then you hear they've just opened their mouth and embarrassed the entire man race with something unintelligent and really really insulting.  Changes your entire feelings for that person, doesn't it?

True Beauty is happiness and good will welling up from within...also, giving it's owner good health and an aura which shines...

I wouldn't doubt the woman in you, in the least, but what I would do, is make certain your boyfriend deserves you, is compatible with you, caring, and supports your ideas and opinions....not to mention, allows you your identity, without trying to change you, loving you for who you are and what you represent in his life.    

And, deep down inside, I believe you already know the answer to that question.


Good luck


wwzwlmd8
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since 09-23-2006
Posts 96
San Diego,CA


13 posted 01-23-2007 08:11 PM       View Profile for wwzwlmd8   Email wwzwlmd8   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wwzwlmd8

If you think your pretty then you are but If you think your not good enouh for your boyfriend let him deside. But do't keep betting your self up you sound like you are nice and you will get though this.

ladylisa
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since 04-29-2007
Posts 337
Georgia USA


14 posted 05-17-2007 02:49 PM       View Profile for ladylisa   Email ladylisa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ladylisa

I think that most men are visual creatures and have the desire to look at women who are portrayed as the perfect woman.  But in reality God made each one of us perfect.  As a woman I feel that we are all beautiful in our own way.  Although your boyfriend may have posters, he probably sees real beauty when he looks at you, for who you are not only outside, but for what is in your heart.  Thanks for addressing this issue, there are a great deal of women who feel the same way.
Drauntz
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since 03-16-2007
Posts 2907
Los Angeles California


15 posted 05-17-2007 04:32 PM       View Profile for Drauntz   Email Drauntz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Drauntz

"a kind heart is prettier than an aging beauty."
Edward Grim
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since 12-18-2005
Posts 1112
Greenville, South Carolina


16 posted 05-17-2007 05:05 PM       View Profile for Edward Grim   Email Edward Grim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Edward Grim's Home Page   View IP for Edward Grim

You should put posters of ugly dudes on your wall and tell your boyfriend that he's not as good as your posters but he'll do.

See how quickly he changes his opinion of beauty.

I'm sorry, I'm evil.

Have a good one gorgeous!!

Head Cheese & Chicken Feet

ramisf
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since 05-17-2007
Posts 93


17 posted 05-18-2007 01:18 AM       View Profile for ramisf   Email ramisf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ramisf

I think you are pretty, where most guys have a kind of physical attraction to lady especially prominent ones. He might have the posters in his room knowing that he has more feelings toward you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He won't be your boyfriend otherwise. Think of what traits made him attracted to you; males might have certain preferences in a Lady, but they always go for the lady that makes them more comfortable and show them real love and devotion.
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


18 posted 05-18-2007 01:52 PM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

I came back and read thru this again...

You have received some very good advice...knowing what I know now, I'd say this...

It is nice to be pretty/attractive...but I've known some very attractive people who didn't own an ounce of compassion, kindness, or hadn't the slightest clue of what love and care for the heart of others is....

to me, it's whats inside that matters most...

I don't care Kira what you look like, long as you treat me with kindness and respect.  I think, the person who is pretty inside, is even prettier outside.

Hugs
Me
icebox
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since 05-03-2003
Posts 4246
in the shadows


19 posted 05-19-2007 07:01 AM       View Profile for icebox   Email icebox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icebox

A poster on a wall never, ever, needs support (beyond tape or a few thumbtacks), never needs reassurance or comforting, never makes demands nor is insecure, never complains or changes expression, never has to be understood, never whines or nags or judges or compares or cries or has mood swings, never has to be figured out nor given more space, never needs nor asks for respect, never has a flare of temper nor dumps unexpected emotional baggage, never acts out emotion, never minds being ignored, never changes.

On the other hand, on a cold night, a poster can only be burned for heat once.
moondogz
Member
since 05-01-2007
Posts 396
Great White North


20 posted 05-21-2007 09:43 AM       View Profile for moondogz   Email moondogz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moondogz

maybe tell your bf what you told us.
often men don't realize that women
are bothered by certain things. being
open and honest is the important thing.
good luck Kira.
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


21 posted 05-21-2007 07:56 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Moondogz has a good idea there.  There have been several good ideas, and a lot of humorous but realistic suggestions [like the poster can only be burned once for warmth on a cold night.]

I also liked knowing the root word of pretty.  That also makes a LOT of sense.

Kira, if you can ask this question before a lot of strangers, and get good answers, I'd really be curious to know if you've yet asked this of your boyfriend.  His statement will show you just how grown up he really is.  And if he is as grown up as you are, then he may be a overall!  

Penwing
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since 07-27-2009
Posts 73
Waverly, MN


22 posted 07-29-2009 10:13 AM       View Profile for Penwing   Email Penwing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Penwing

*sigh* So many times we now see this in todays world,

     what he must realise is those girls in the photos are for starters wearing a pound of make-up second, (most of the time girls like that have no personality)

He needs to be spending his time on the beautiful girl he has and stop mooning after thees fake models.


   so to anser your question effectiverly yes, you are more then pretty enough and with a great personality to boot.


           best wishes,
                ,Alex
Bob K
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since 11-03-2007
Posts 3860


23 posted 07-30-2009 09:02 PM       View Profile for Bob K   Email Bob K   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bob K



Dear Kira Aso,

                  It's not often that we get a chance to do this, but it's now, I notice almost three years after your original post.  I have no idea if you are actually out there, but if you are, I'd really enjoy knowing how you're thinking has changed in the last three years, since you wrote this note.  How does the note seem to you today?

Sincerely, Bob Kaven
Falling rain
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since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


24 posted 08-04-2009 08:31 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Beauty is a gift. And if your able to have a good physical beauty, great! But if you have a heart of gold, people will love you for YOU. Not to stare at you all day; admiring your every move.
Guys will be physically attracted to things
But sometimes they will desire something different like kindness, honesty, humor, stuff of that kind. Being a guy I think I should know.

-Zach
 
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