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Pretty enough?
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Pretty enough? |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
I know that people say that looks aren’t everything (I don’t think they are) but lots of people go by the way other people look and dress. I’ve always been really self-conscious about my appearance. My boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful all the time but every time I go into his room I see posters of gorgeous girls on his walls. It makes me wonder if I’m his dream girl or if his REAL dream girl has a big chest and perfect complexion. I know everyone has their own idea about beauty as I have my own but still I’d like to know “Am I pretty enough?”. Or am I just a hit and run? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
On the surface of things, sadly, we are all sort of programmed by our experience as to what is appealing or unattractive. All I can say is that I have seen some stunningly beautiful people in my time, in the physical, and less than two minutes of conversation with them changed my entire outlook, emotionally. Even with no picture posted, I can say that just the fact that you are honest and willing to be vulnerable enough to ask for an honest answer to an honest question makes you pretty enough--for me. I think that it makes you courageous and sweet, at the same time. (Not an easy combo, either.)  |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
So sweet of you to say! Thankyou much for the kind comment. Hugs and Hershey bars!! Luv Kira |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Think of it as houses. Maybe those other "houses" are nice to look at, but do they offer the love, comfort, memories, and sweetness of a place he may call "home"? |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Kind of hard to find real companionship in a poster, regardless of what it looks like. You're not a shapely body on a piece of paper. You're a real live energetic, emotional, intellegent person. There's no competition there at all. It may be great to read a good book, but it certainly can't replace live friend. Same thing, dearie. God bless. Rae PS If your boyfriend is not making you feel good about yourself, he needs to be replaced. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Do you know what the pret in pretty means? |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I don't know what does it mean???? and Kira beauty is as beauty does  hunnie  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well I have to tell you that you could look just like those posters as I can assure you that with a bit of air brushing and a nip and tuck of the computer your picture would be just as spectacular. However, we live in a real world, that is why they sell posters in the first place, for people to fantasize about the unreal. The one thing to always bear in mind is that men will always look, but it's where they come home to that counts. It's when they quit looking that I get really worried. I am sure that did not help one bit, but I do think that if you don't know your own beauty, then others will never see it. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
The pret or rather prett in pretty comes from Old English prætt meaning "trick, prank." ! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Many a girl and woman has wondered that very same thing. ~ Even if they are considered pretty! They wonder if they "stack" up to other women. In actuality, when I was younger, I often attracted men that were shallow and more into appearances. As I have aged, I have gained a few pounds and I am appreciated more for my "wit and charm"! lol Seriously speaking, as I mature, my ideal man does not have to be millimeter perfect in my eyes either! I prefer a self-realized, kind, dependable, loving man. I absolutely adore the responses that your post has received! Some great advice there! ~ and lots of caring. "Pretty" truly is in the eye of the beholder and I can see that you are very pretty on the inside! ~ and that is where it counts! And don't forget, it is YOU that your boyfriend wants to have in his life! Forget his "art gallery" and know that it is you that he wants!  Giving you a big hug o' love, EA |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
A woman in a picture can be the epitome of beauty - but only because there is no personality to directly associate with the skin and bones package. Beauty is NOT skin deep - it permeates through the entirety of a person. Part of what makes some women pretty is their personality; you might see them in a still shot and not think too much of them, but in person, with their personality shining through, might see them as beautiful. Or vice versa, as Karen mentioned. Perhaps that's what your boyfriend sees - he may look at those pictures and see an "ideal," but see you, with your personality and realize you're just as pretty or even more so... reality is usually better than fantasy anyway. |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
I'm very suprised at the responses I got for this post! Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and kind advice. I'm very happy that you each took the time to give out some of your wisdom and support. (It's very much appreciated!) Thankyou much! Hugs and kisses Kira |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I have to say, you've received some very good responses here... I wouldn't let some posters upset the apple cart or cause less doubt in my own self esteem...besides, haven't you ever had a crush on a teacher, movie star or rock star? Sometimes that crush you feel is what you believe that person is like inside. Then you hear they've just opened their mouth and embarrassed the entire man race with something unintelligent and really really insulting. Changes your entire feelings for that person, doesn't it? True Beauty is happiness and good will welling up from within...also, giving it's owner good health and an aura which shines... I wouldn't doubt the woman in you, in the least, but what I would do, is make certain your boyfriend deserves you, is compatible with you, caring, and supports your ideas and opinions....not to mention, allows you your identity, without trying to change you, loving you for who you are and what you represent in his life. And, deep down inside, I believe you already know the answer to that question. Good luck |
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wwzwlmd8 Member
since 2006-09-23
Posts 96San Diego,CA |
If you think your pretty then you are but If you think your not good enouh for your boyfriend let him deside. But do't keep betting your self up you sound like you are nice and you will get though this. |
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ladylisa Member
since 2007-04-29
Posts 342Florida USA |
I think that most men are visual creatures and have the desire to look at women who are portrayed as the perfect woman. But in reality God made each one of us perfect. As a woman I feel that we are all beautiful in our own way. Although your boyfriend may have posters, he probably sees real beauty when he looks at you, for who you are not only outside, but for what is in your heart. Thanks for addressing this issue, there are a great deal of women who feel the same way. |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
"a kind heart is prettier than an aging beauty." |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
You should put posters of ugly dudes on your wall and tell your boyfriend that he's not as good as your posters but he'll do. See how quickly he changes his opinion of beauty. I'm sorry, I'm evil. Have a good one gorgeous!! Head Cheese & Chicken Feet |
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ramisf Member
since 2007-05-17
Posts 93 |
I think you are pretty, where most guys have a kind of physical attraction to lady especially prominent ones. He might have the posters in his room knowing that he has more feelings toward you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He won't be your boyfriend otherwise. Think of what traits made him attracted to you; males might have certain preferences in a Lady, but they always go for the lady that makes them more comfortable and show them real love and devotion. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I came back and read thru this again... You have received some very good advice...knowing what I know now, I'd say this... It is nice to be pretty/attractive...but I've known some very attractive people who didn't own an ounce of compassion, kindness, or hadn't the slightest clue of what love and care for the heart of others is.... to me, it's whats inside that matters most... I don't care Kira what you look like, long as you treat me with kindness and respect. I think, the person who is pretty inside, is even prettier outside. Hugs Me |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
A poster on a wall never, ever, needs support (beyond tape or a few thumbtacks), never needs reassurance or comforting, never makes demands nor is insecure, never complains or changes expression, never has to be understood, never whines or nags or judges or compares or cries or has mood swings, never has to be figured out nor given more space, never needs nor asks for respect, never has a flare of temper nor dumps unexpected emotional baggage, never acts out emotion, never minds being ignored, never changes. On the other hand, on a cold night, a poster can only be burned for heat once. |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
maybe tell your bf what you told us. often men don't realize that women are bothered by certain things. being open and honest is the important thing. good luck Kira. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Moondogz has a good idea there. There have been several good ideas, and a lot of humorous but realistic suggestions [like the poster can only be burned once for warmth on a cold night.] I also liked knowing the root word of pretty. That also makes a LOT of sense. Kira, if you can ask this question before a lot of strangers, and get good answers, I'd really be curious to know if you've yet asked this of your boyfriend. His statement will show you just how grown up he really is. And if he is as grown up as you are, then he may be a  overall!  |
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Penwing Member
since 2009-07-27
Posts 73Waverly, MN |
*sigh* So many times we now see this in todays world, what he must realise is those girls in the photos are for starters wearing a pound of make-up second, (most of the time girls like that have no personality) He needs to be spending his time on the beautiful girl he has and stop mooning after thees fake models. so to anser your question effectiverly yes, you are more then pretty enough and with a great personality to boot. best wishes, ,Alex |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Kira Aso, It's not often that we get a chance to do this, but it's now, I notice almost three years after your original post. I have no idea if you are actually out there, but if you are, I'd really enjoy knowing how you're thinking has changed in the last three years, since you wrote this note. How does the note seem to you today? Sincerely, Bob Kaven |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Beauty is a gift. And if your able to have a good physical beauty, great! But if you have a heart of gold, people will love you for YOU. Not to stare at you all day; admiring your every move. Guys will be physically attracted to things But sometimes they will desire something different like kindness, honesty, humor, stuff of that kind. Being a guy I think I should know. -Zach |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
yes it would be interesting the change of feelings you feel now. miss you! |
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madelyn Member
since 2009-09-03
Posts 172Purgatory |
Look, I asked my very, very beautiful friend If she thought she was pretty And she said I think I am the ugliest person In this country And she has a large bust and a good complexion. So i think everyone has a bit of self-denial about beauty... And it shouldnt matter even if you dont have those things!! Boyfriends should look you in the eyes and not down your shirt! |
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N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360New Orleans |
Physical appearance is what runs the world. Its the way its been for all animals. Although we consider ourselves civilized, the world is run by appearance. A beautiful soul isn't seen on TV, yet a beautiful face is on every corner plastered on posters. What matters in this world is what you personally feel. I- like many here feel that the soul matters more then the shell. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Something I heard a long time ago, but I'm not sure who originated it was this: You can be the most beautiful person in the world on the outside, but if you're ugly on the inside, that ugliness shows through and you will be seen as an ugly person by the world. And you can be physically the ugliest person in the world on the outside, but if you're beautiful on the inside, that beauty shines through, and you will be seen by the world as a beautiful person. Arana Darkwolf |
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Penwing Member
since 2009-07-27
Posts 73Waverly, MN |
I think Zach hit the nail on the head....Many guys out there are attracted to physical attributes...but there are men who look deeper...though we can be few and far between sometimes that kind of person will be ther person for you....beleve me im in the same boat your in...just keep looking the right person will find thir way to you |
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