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i have a poem, i was wondering if anyone like it

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nick_lyss
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since 08-21-2006
Posts 89


0 posted 08-28-2006 06:52 PM       View Profile for nick_lyss   Email nick_lyss   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nick_lyss


A fantasy
life is nothing more than a fantasy
always lookin perfect
never caught with a mistake to look
down on others.haircuts to the max.nails gleaming.
all this is a fantasy. noone knows how to live without hightecstuff.life is nothing more than a fantasy
  
pen&paper
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since 06-06-2006
Posts 519


1 posted 08-29-2006 04:53 PM       View Profile for pen&paper   Email pen&paper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pen&paper

your poem is good but here are two hints:

1) check your spelling
2) work on structure

Good work!
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


2 posted 09-02-2006 06:37 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

My late son used to call it "plastic people"  It's amazing how much stuff people can be brainwashed into thinking they need, isn't it?

   Rae
 
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