So...I really like to write. It doesn't matter what. Poetry, short stories, movie scripts, a novel I'm working on. I just love to write and I write all the time, it's never a problem or a chore to sit down and write. It's what I want to do for a living and it's honestly the only thing I can see myself being happy doing for a living.
Right now I work for a consulting firm doing computer system design and I hate it. It's not that it's hard or even boring, it's that I find it meaningless. But that's ok, it's just a job for now.
The problem comes now that I actually have a shot at something. I am writing a comic book for a major comic book company with one of their leading artists who selected me to write with him based off some of my short stories. Writing comic books is not exactly what I wanted but it's writing and it's fun. It's a chance to get my stuff out there and may lead to other oppourtunities. But I can't write. I'm afraid that if I mess this up, I'll end up working at this job I can't stand for the rest of my life and the more I worry, the more I procrastinate and that just ensures that my chance of failing grows. Or I'm afraid that I might be successful and then my whole life changes from the comfortable, if boring, little haven I've built myself and as much as I want and like to think about that, it's kind of scary to know that success or a chance at success is within your grasp.
So I don't know what to do. I want to write, I need to write, but I can't write because I'm afraid.
They say the sweet is never as sweet without the sour. So where's my sweet?