British Columbia, Canada
I feel for anyone experiencing a loss of a loved one, human, or animal, and here is my take on death, and how to get through the stages which are different for everyone. Some get over a loss quickly and some will never. Both are valid ways of handling grief.
I agree it can be the most selfish we will ever become in our lifetime if we let it. I think the person in the bed dying really needs to hear that approval to just let go from those they love, at least from my experience. I once was so selfish, that someone actually did try to hang on and that is what taught me this lesson.
Every single time I hear of someone dying it brings back each death I have experienced of a loved one or someone I respected. I get a circular thinking for days about many people now departed. Now, I think that is a good thing, but sure didn't once. Each new death serves as a reminder to honor their time in human form, and their connection with me, and I do celebrate that. The depression was replaced with laughter, as I now recall the antics shared, and all the good times with that person. I have turned it around, but it took loosing so many I loved to finally get the idea of how dealing with the loss of a loved one works for me.
Personally I have never been afraid of dying, and since I was little made myself ready for that day. I have my own beliefs on what happens at that time, and so I decided long ago that the most important part was just living life to the fullest, and taking from it every single thing it had to offer on a daily basis. Hence my signature, Carpe' Diem
I have from experience also discovered that it is in death that we finally see the good qualities a person really possessed even if they treated us badly, and I have said goodbye to some of those too let me tell you. I know one thing for certain now, there is good to be found in every body.
This thread and its link to Karilea's own personal loss of her brother, Robert reminds me of a challenge she made once, and it was to use a phrase, "You are there, here with me."
She didn't know it at the time, but that was actually the turning point for me and it became the way to accomplish getting through any loss. That is to simply absorb the best parts of the spirit of that person you lost. In that way, they will always a part of you, and when you go, become a part of the next person who does the same with you. The cycle of goodness is never-ending, see?
It is only through a death that we can can know true life. It does go on.
I would like to recommend a wonderful book if I may, it is called, "You Are A Spiritual Being Having A Human Experience," by Bob Frissel. It sure opens one eyes to amazing thoughts.