in the shadows
Sometimes with social circles it is helpful to wipe the slate clean and start over. Get involved with activities you enjoy, then you will meet others who enjoy the same things.
As for suicide, for most people no matter how intriguing the idea of suicide may be it is just so much a waste of time, it is more the result of forgetting life's inevitible outcome than anything else. Most days (or nights) when I awake, nothing appeals to me more than dying, but as soon as I start to figure out how to arrange that, I remember that it will take care of itself and I don't have to do anything about it. So, I can put my energy into anything else I wish.
Sometimes life does feel like the pain, horror, fear, grief, etc., will go on forever, but all things end; we all die. Often it requires patience to get there but the end is inevitable. Given that, why expend energy making happen that which will happen on its own?
If you feel very strongly that you make your friends unhappy, there is a good chance you are right, so find other ways to spend your time. If they get in touch with you and want to know where you went, then you were wrong. If you do not hear from them again, then you were right. In any event, for a while forget about pleasing other people; find activities that you enjoy. No matter how old you are, there is a very real statistical probability that the most important people in your life are people you have not yet met.