These two are prongs of the same fork. We can adjust our language, rewrite our words and even add footnotes, but if the reader/observer/listener lacks patience, compassion, experience or simply carries a chip on their shoulder, than we will be misjudged. The problem is theirs, let them keep it.
Owned by all at times, it can be invigorating if entered into voluntarily, but a sentence if a door slammed by the sound of rejection.
Perhaps just depressed. Defeated is too final.
I just popped in to assure you we all feel this way at times and acknowledge that you wouldn't have posted this if it weren't so. Take some solace from not being alone in this passing melancholy and understand it will pass.