»
Discussion
»
Feelings
»
heartbroken
| Feelings |
|
heartbroken |
|
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
|
But I am moody. It's part of post traumatic stress thing they tell me. I can be perfectly fine one moment and then I can plummet in a nanosecond. I try to NOT venture into the worst hit areas now. I try to put blinders on to the mounting garbage. I even come here, to Pip, and get in lengthy discussions to distract myself from all the crap that is going on outside my windows, and sometimes inside too. I try to read humorous writing, and as some of you all know, I adore this local columnist and today he broke my heart. http://www.nola.com/living/t-p/index.ssf?/base/living-5/1133851880209270.xml But I will take this as a cautionary tale, too. Don't let the "dark stuff creep all over your mind". I'm going to pray for this lady. (I think I am at my best when I forget about me, anyhow.) I realize you guys are prolly weary of Katrina tales, but you might not realize that the dead is still being counted. It is hard to be stoic, and "keep your chin up" when you read of elderly couples found, three months decayed, in each others arms. I'm amazed too, at how much an impact our environment plays on our psyche. I apologize for the glum today folks. I'm sorry for inflicting my bi polar mood swings on you all. Some days are harder than others. Please know that me, and all of us here in New Orleans, and across the entire gulf coast area are not begging for a pity party. A little understanding is good. And hope. Send us hope. If the lady in that story can have hope, there must be some left in me...and you, too. |
||
| © Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I haven't read the story link just yet, and might not until after another cup of java or tea. But I can still give you a cyber hug and wish for you a peaceful corner to hide in today. That's how I feel some days...that I'd best "sit this one out" in a quiet corner, not participate in anything more distressing than happily contemplating my belly button. ~lighting a candle and incense sticks of love and good thoughts for you, my sistah K~ |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen So sad a story! Love should be joy...how can this ever be an option? Hugging you! |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
That just hit me so hard.... I wrote Chris Rose, and told him tell that New Orleans girl that another New Orleans girl cares... whew and some days are just so hard. I know you all know.  |
||
|
Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Just when we think we have it rough we get trumped by reality! Wow, she is amazing. There is so many to pray for. Thanks for sharing Karen. Keep your chin up, we love you. T-O-N-S!  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 Oh gawd, this story hits me in the plexus. And whatever taste of HOPE might sit upon her tongue? it should be bottled and spread around the globe. Karen, I wish I could reach right through this damned screen, offer a shoulder for you to cry on, and a big sistah hug. Know that this  is there  alongside hundreds of others who really do care. |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I have a feeling you'll write about a Nawlins taste of hope, eventually. |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
M'lady mxx how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
||
|
sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Oh, Karen, my heart bleeds for you. God love you, gal. You've been such an inspiration to multitudes, when you're more disaster ridden than many. I used to tell my son around Christmas, if I could package and wrap a perfect gift, it would contain faith. You need those 'down' times, too, sometimes. That story was sad and I'm sure there are a zillion very real heartwrenching stories brought about by this. No, I'm not tired of hearing about the suffering as long as it exists. In fact, we who aren't directly experiencing it, NEED to hear these things. It's akin to learning about those who've fought the war. Sending loads of love and long warm fuzzy hugs to you. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Rae |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Serenity gal, you know I know about death and suicdie.I know bipopar too. So you knock those blues aside and do as you yourself suggest... Think of the other gal, write every day in a journal even this blue paged journal. We could not bear to know you are so blue. Our prayers still go up for you. We are not so fickle that we could forget Katrina. I saw the woman on T.V who found her friends after all these months and felt for her and I feel for the young lady in Chris's story.There are many more stories out there and I know you know. keep up the writing. What ever the subject you choose we will read. Drop a few tears but drop a few laughs as only you can do.Love to you, martyjo |
||
|
Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
That story brought a lot of things to my mind and none of them do I understand right now...will I ever be done trying to sort out my thoughts on this? I love you muchly Karen |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
It's good to talk . . . like I said, if you don't you will end up bitter and sick. *shaking my head here wishing I could really hug you* (if you needed that) |
||
|
inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I read the article, and have opened your topic several times. Trying to find the right words to convey my feelings on this subject is very hard. All I can say is one should never give up hope, learn from the past, but continue towards tomorrow. Life is too precious to give up on. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you all. I was having a bad day to begin with, as there are personal problems I'm having to deal with (and normally I tell ya'll everything, but generally after the fact  ) but I want to reasure you all, and I've been thinking about why this hit me so hard (in the plexus, as Kacy put it) and it's just my concern for my people in this community. Suicide is not an option in my personal book of coping strategy. I worry though, because I have seen firsthand that it can be "contagious." (I knew a family with six kids as I was growing up--by the time I was twenty, half of them were gone, by their own hands) so please know that I know it's not an option. Somedays I just feel overwhelmed, and you guys are the only folks I have to talk with that seem to understand. I have a few friends left here, but not many--as I chose to discontinue relationships with most of them because of bad habits I can no longer tolerate and refuse to condone, even by association. So I get lonely, and I feel kind of helpless some days, but it sure is nice--no, it is wonderful to know that I can come here and find a kind word, encouragement, and even love and laughter. It's not always horrible here. It's just that some days are very, very difficult. So thank you. |
||
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Karen my love....I am not going to read that story. I know that there are among us heros and heroines, angels and the kind at heart. People who have suffered terribly and risen above it all. Then there are those who simply could not handle another second and had depleted (so they thought) all that they had to give. There are wrong doers, and bottom feeders ... those who turn against all that is good around them. May the Lord shine His light upon every single one of them .... and us. We adore you withchywonderfulone. Take all the time you need to vent, cry, laugh and scream to the high heavens. What concerns me today ... and it is a truth that I just found out about. Did you know that giraffes and turkeys are bi-sexual? Me neither. Who'da thunk it?  |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I don't mean to boast, Chris, but yeah, I knew that. Elephants can hear through their feet too. *shaking my head* I'm not crazy--I'm not!  |
||
|
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
REALLY???!!! Through their feet? Hmmm....then I wonder why their ears are so big?  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
  |
||
|
sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Yes, and people can see with their minds and feel with their hearts! How about that? I see you're the same ole Karen, with a huge caring heart, and a mind that's constantly seeing another's situation more needy than your own, regardless of what you're experiencing. In addition to that, you manage to keep a sense of humor that somehow maintains sanity. God bless you. Rae |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Serenity,I hope you know my reference to Suicide was about the young bridegroom. I never worry about you in that area.You have a deep seated sense of family and you would not do that I am positive. Looking for some fun things to send. We care, martyjo |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
< i think that says it all. hugs n things sista k |
||
|
Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Keep opening our eyes as you share your heart with us, Karen...It is you who gives us all a dose of reality that keeps our hearts open to all those who are suffering so terribly....Thank you for being who you are and sharing yourself with us...My heart goes out to youand yours with hugs and prayers....***BIG HUGS*** |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I just wanted to thank you all again and add, that I have no clue as to what information the rest of the world has regarding our plight. That in itself makes me wonder how much I don't know about others... That in itself gives me pause, and I am less inclined to judge. I hope. See? I HOPE. |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Serenity , we only know what we see on T.V. and the news papers. I have had reports and some photos from a friend who went from Indiana to New Orleans to take care of the horses, and have read articles from people who ended up in this area and are living in Daytona, Palm Coast and other places near by. But no, of course we do not know the true devastation and of course we have not experienced it. So we send our love and prayers and hope for you and others. love, martyjo |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
martyjo? *laughing here* I have learned a lot in the past five years. I have a list of things to NOT pray for. One is patience, for obvious reasons. After your e mail yesterday? I added "strength" to the list. grinning yer a doll, yanno that?  |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
I know, we always said. "be careful what you pray for". No one ever knows, does one! Keep your funny bone warm. love,martyjo Oh yes, some pray for rain but do not carry an umbrella so how real are those people? |
||
|
majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
i do not know anything to say except that I am yet another person who is with you. -majnu |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Karen? Ya been through it all, Lady. And yer still crazy. *grin* See? *you are suppossed to smile RIGHT HERE*  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: When I read your post the first time, it was in the moment of a wing and a prayer, and did not have the precious time to read the article in its entirety. I knew I would come back, though...[I'm developing some moth-type wings, through osmosis...] and I just wanted to say that in an illogical way I understand this logic. I'm just sorry for this young lady's young man, that he did not have her strength through the crazy stuff. Nature is strange that way. If you can find her? Give her a hug for us, too. Love you. the other K . |
||
|
jody5 Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876California, U.S.A. |
I have days also that I am on the down side. all it takes is the wrong story or movie and it can reck my mood. I try to keep myself busy reading or watching funny things because I am so sensitive to people and life. I pray alot for people and it helps. I will pray for you. I am sending you a hugg. |
||
|
jody5 Senior Member
since 2005-12-21
Posts 876California, U.S.A. |
Karen I know Bi-polar and PTSD, and writing is the answer. Keep it up because so many of us empathize with you and you are helping us when you do. People love you and understand where you are comming from. Just keep whatever faith you have and know alot of people care about you. |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Hey LadyBug, I just read the link and your post. How ironic, how awful and yet she still has hope. N'Orlean makes grows 'em tough. God love ya, lady, I get tears in my eyes when I just think of the situation, and to top it off (on top of so much you've gone through this past couple of years). Mom used to say "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." I know that's not much comfort, but at least you know my heart's with ya. Are you up tonight; let me know and I'll give you a call, k? luvsya, jo |
||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Hi honey... One important thing stood out in Chris's article this.... But we have to try. We have to fight this thing until there is no fight left. This cannot be the way we go out, by our own hands. and it won't be...as you say, dear lady, there are and will be good days with the bad...the cliche "for every step forward, sometimes you take 3 steps back" well, I've found through experience, that is so so true. But we won't and don't let it get us down...ever, no matter what, we are suvivors we poets...and when you get to feeling down, come in here, no matter how many times of the day, and post...we'll hug ya and be there for ya...cause, the way I hear it...New Orleans Ladies are the best...And you are Miss Serenity Blaze...with a heart as big as our universe.... Now, cup of tea...or how bout a Jimmy Buffett Ultimate Frozen Margareta? Si? 1. Fill shaker with broken cubed ice. 2. Squeeze TWO fresh lime wedges into shaker. 3. Savor the fresh lime aroma (AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!) 4. Add 2 oz. Cuervo 1800. 5. Sniff the cork. 6. Add 1/2 oz. of Jose Cuervo White if ya wish (white for bite!). 7. Add 1-1/4 oz. of Roses Lime Juice (accept no substitutes!). 8. Add 1/2 oz. of Bols Triple Sec (nothing but the best!). 9. Add "a splash" of Bols Orange Curaco (shh... secret ingredient). 10. Cover shaker tightly! 11. Shake vigorously. 12. Flip shaker in midair twice (three times if you're a pro). 13. Uncover shaker and savor the flavor! 14. Rim glass with Lime peel (outside only!). 15. Salt the outside only. 16. Add fresh ice. 17. Strain mixture over ice. 18. Squeeze in 1 lime wedge and toss rind over left shoulder. 19. Now kick back, turn up the tunes and enjoy!  Love ya hun...Hey, ya wanna come stay at my place for a while? Love to have ya |
||
|
Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Oddly, it's 9:00am and that drink sounds fantastic!! (I would exchange sugar for salt). And if Karen takes a vacation it's to my place first!!! I am just a hop, skip and jump away dang it... Morning Karen! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Stick with the tea, please. Treating depression with alcohol, a depressant, makes about as much sense as treating dysentery with prune juice. |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Good Lord! Self-medicating is the worst thing anyone can do if they are depressed! It is like adding fuel to an already blazing flame. I actually do know what does work though honestly! Walking, listening to music, going to a mall and watching the crazy folks just like you  or even dancing with a fridge handle, but not drinking, "smokin," or any other self administered depressants, or stimulants, they make it way worse! Look it up!While I am on this soap box, there is nothing wrong with admitting one is depressed it happens to the best of us. I have been many times, and I am sure a lot of you have too. It is what we do about it that determines the path we take. If we scuff it off it won't go away but only come back worse. Your attitude will also bleed into all those around you that you touch. If we just ask for help from a friend, doctor, or even a sometimes a perfect stranger, and get it, the depression becomes manageable. Having the right tools you need to deal with depression can make it that way. Ron, the tea really should be herbal too, as tea is also a stimulant. Sheesh, we can't have any fun us depressed folks. I know one thing from personal experience that you have to feel that pain, loss, or whatever it is getting you down to deal with it effectively. If you disguise, "squish it down" or cloud it over using other stimulants, it will only come back and haunt you one day worse than the first time and can do terrible damage. I had an email this morning actually from the Mental Health Unit at the hospital I volunteered at, referring to the Katrina survivors actually. It said, "Even though this devastation seems like something we could never survive ourselves, don't let it cloud your judgment that your problems are not every bit as overwhelming." It went on to explain that you can not diminish what is sad, painful or hurtful to YOU - no matter how small you think it is, or compare it to other's problems. It is through the process of feeling our own depression we gain a sense of compassion, which we all need to survive in this world. We are each different and deal with life differently, so no two cases of depression are ever really treated the same. One thing is for certain, once in awhile we all need a little help, and what has happened to this society that we are so afraid to ask for it. The best drug is a friend, family member, or a doctor who listens, and will be there when you need them. It is sure a good first step. The best step of course is to seek medical help always. Okay I am leaving to be quiet again. But first ... here's a good link with a test on it too. http://www.depression.realage.com/content.aspx/topic/11 Carpe' Diem |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I am exercizing caution. And I know that was a suggestion in the spirit of fun, too. And what not too many know is that I've been a little quiet the past two days, because that is what I do when I'm really upset. And you can tell when I am really really upset, because I won't touch the stuff then. (I've been known to carry a flask to funerals, but that was usually for other people, not me.) I hate to be so boring, but in my circle of acquaintancs, we have lost another member of our unlikely miscreant crew. At least I think we have--thus far, I haven't read his obituary. 2006 has already offered up the first sacrifice. A friend of mine overdosed in the early hours of January 1. *shaking my head* He died celebrating his survival. And since right now, I'm not really sure how I feel, could somebody just lock the door on this thread for me? And please don't fuss. I'm okay, okay? Love to all. I'd just like some quiet in my head and if this thread goes nuts it will become a bit of noise I don't think I can deal with right now. I appreciate it and love you all very much. Thanks for your support and understanding. |
||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Good Lord Serenity, I certainly hope you know I was only trying to get your frown to reverse and your heart to sing a little...good Gwad?????? Me thinks I oughta stay outa these forums well, anyway, I really do and seriously hope you know, I was only trying to get you to smile, perhaps even if only for a moment... sheeeshhh, I would never do anything to hurt anyone? I hope you know that hun Love ya lots Me |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Lee? c'mere lady I was missing you. I think I'd just like it locked because I'm tired. Does that make sense? I hope so. |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I fully understand - Try to have a rest, and know we send you many hugs, yet again. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
