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Passions in Poetry

When people come back

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Christioned
Member
since 01-15-2004
Posts 93
Huddling in the dark


0 posted 11-24-2005 10:25 PM       View Profile for Christioned   Email Christioned   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christioned


It's kinda funny how people leave you. You don't really expect them to come back. Some don't; others though do. And when they do everything just floods back to you like a bad dream.

I got a very unexpected visit today from someone I had never expected to see again. He left on bad terms over the summer. He just showed up on my doorstep today, covered in snow. As soon as I saw him it was like no time had passed; all the hurt and everything just came rushing back.

Why do the people that hurt us have to come back into our lives? Is it just to cause us more pain? Or is there an actuall reason behind them. People say it's God trying to get my attention, but how can one person that caused so much pain be a good message?

"See my wrists;
I feel your pain."-Creed

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


1 posted 11-25-2005 01:34 AM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

if you dont mind a reply from the resident atheist/alien.

is it a message from god? no, life just sucks, or most of it.

eloquent, no? allow me to elaborate. watch animal planet, you'll find that 90%-95% of life is hardship and pain. unable to cope with reality we label them hurdles, tests, messages from god. but what it comes down to is simple survival. scraping and clawing just to get by. shrugs.

now before you get utterly depressed, and before anybody jumps on me for being negative and cynical(which i am, i just don't want to hear it), there's the other 5-10% of life that isn't about survival.

it's about living. not surviving, not existing(which is all most of us do), but living life. what a fun ride it can be. it's an incredible thing to have friends, to laugh, to watch people wipe out in the snow, and of course to l#ve.

is it worth going through all the pain and trouble? i'll be honest, most days i'd have trouble answering that positively, but today, undoubtedly:

yes.
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 02-22-2002
Posts 9456
Michigan, USA


2 posted 11-25-2005 06:12 AM       View Profile for ThisDiamond   Email ThisDiamond   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ThisDiamond's Home Page   View IP for ThisDiamond

Hello:

I liked what aenimal said.  
I don't think his analogy was negative, just bluntly honest.

You know, I have come to believe in a precharted destiny myself.  My parents split when I was about 8, in a very bitter divorce, and I lost touch with my father for 35 years.  He came back into my life two years ago...just as suddenly.

I remembered the pain, but it was almost like a change of season.  We never really spoke of what and why...but somehow his presence was much more important than holding on to all of that.

He died a month ago.  The love I feel for him never did.  It has shaped my expectations differently, and I find the door is always open, because what is meant to return...will.

Thanks for sharing the thoughts here.
TD
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


3 posted 11-25-2005 03:10 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

Not trying to play a trump card or sound haughty, but I've seen 70 very diverse years of life.  I'm learning still, things are not always as they appear.  Often we're looking for some little thing to be thankful for or happy about while taking for granted the huge blessings we have.  Ask anyone who survived the hurricanes losing only their homes, jobs, schools, neighborhoods and every possession, they'll tell you what thankfulness is.  Ask Joni Erickson Tada, who's paralized from her neck down, she'll tell you why life sucks and how a change of attitude (not circumstances)brings joy.  She travels far and wide encouraging others now, paints holding the brush in her teeth, has written very inspiring books, laughs, and loves.

From others, I've learned not to remain locked in sorrow over the death of my son, but thank God for the years I had him.  He came home, out of work, and funds at age 34.  He worked at jobs he didn't care for while looking for openings in his favorite work.  He was with us 9 months, his last Thanksgiving, Christmas and Birthday before he was killed by a train.  Now I thank God he was out of work and funds or he wouldn't have spent those last months with us.

Our daughter, at 38, died of stem-cell transplant complications, leaving 3 teenaged children and her husband.  Then I learned how many people she'd helped through these very blue pages.  Was I hurt? YES! Yet, I'm so very thankful for the children she had, and the wonderful help others found through her poetry and relationships formed here.  During her ordeal and following her death, I learned to treasure the same wonderful caring poets that grace these pages.  Did her death deal me a blow?  You bet!  Can I find blessings here?  An abundance.

Thus, I now understand we cannot appreciate light without darkness, health without pain, sweet without the sour, sunshine without the rain, or warmth without the cold.  Perhaps if we aren't thankful, it's because we've never had to experience the hunger, thirst, deep sorrow, bitter cold, lonliness and painful sides of life.

Please think on these things.

     Rae

P.S.  It was faith in God that allowed my daughter to endure all she did during her cancer treatment and me to be assured I'll be with my children in heaven eternally.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


4 posted 11-25-2005 07:07 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Rae, I went to  school with Joni Erickson Tada and I was always amazed at how she lives life... she had her accident shortly after graduation and I ran into her when she had just come back from California learning how to use her hands with motorized appliances to be able to feed herself. She was always talented.

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Maureen
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


5 posted 11-25-2005 08:04 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Well, when they come back, you don't have to let them in. But it might be worthwhile to ask "Why? Why did you come back?" and then go from there. If it's to hurt you again, whether physically or emotionally, you already know what you should do. Shut that door.
But what if the person is attempting to change? It doesn't happen often, but it does happen sometimes that a person learns the "do unto others" lesson.
My thoughts? Have a safe holiday season, and move forward cautiously with this person... but with an open heart if you can.
Christioned
Member
since 01-15-2004
Posts 93
Huddling in the dark


6 posted 11-26-2005 09:29 AM       View Profile for Christioned   Email Christioned   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christioned

Thank you everyone for the wide varity of replys that I have recieved. I'm just not sure about the whole putting my trust in God thing,... anymore. I've tried that for so many years and all it did was bring me more pain, not moments of joy and relief. He's just one of those pain's that's come back to haunt me.

"See my wrists;
I feel your pain."-Creed

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


7 posted 11-26-2005 12:18 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

What is wrong with putting faith in yourself?  You know best what you need, and how to get it, or get rid of it.  People return for their own reasons, what we do about it is ours.  Just because it feels right for this person to waltz back into your life doesn't mean you need to do the dance if you don't wish to.  Good luck with that decision, but remember you always have had the answers inside of you all the time.
inot2B
Member Elite
since 09-18-2000
Posts 2272
Alabama


8 posted 11-27-2005 10:34 AM       View Profile for inot2B   Email inot2B   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inot2B

Think it over, do you want this person back in your life, if not, now it is your turn to be in control.  Tell them you don't care to have them back.  I did it and can now breath easier because I took control of my life.  Be it God or just myself, I don't know, but life is good and I won't let anyone in who will ruin that!
Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3353
In your dreams


9 posted 11-27-2005 01:21 PM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju

You know the funny thing about life, is it likes to be a pain. As a beleiver in crist I beleive that god only gives us what we can handle and that any thing which can be tough I can handle. I believe that life is a test.  sometimes seeing people eho have hurts us is meerly just to see if we have forgiven them.  You know in some  cultures rain is a good thing.  try to look at ba situations differently... which is relly hard sometimes, but oh well

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

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