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Juju
Member Elite
since 12-29-2003
Posts 3353
In your dreams


0 posted 09-14-2005 08:14 PM       View Profile for Juju   Email Juju   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Juju's Home Page   View IP for Juju


Its hard, because I know the answere to this problem and everything else. I feel Really bad because I think I hurt a guy I like.  I got really sick last year and for those first two weeks afterwards I wasn't avoiding him, I was just so weak I couldn't make it over to him.  I was so bad I needed help opening doors and sometimes picking things up. After that I was just really embaressed that I could never tell him.  I don't know if he likes me or if he hates me. I know when I was sick, alot of guys were turned off by how week I looked.  Some, even now look at me with disgust. I supose my personality could of been different when I was sick.  

Overall I realized that I will never be able to tell him this.  Not because of pride, but because something happens where I am not able to reach him.  He doesn't sit with me when can, so he might be over me.  I just wish him the best, because its been nearly a year and nothing has happened.  I know I am afraid to embarasss him.

So I will try to move on and live life.  I am not going to let the world "end", but at the same time my heart will always be open to him.  I hold no resentment to him at all.

You see I am trying this patience thing out.  I have found out that (not through him) not forgiving something no matter what it is, is not worth the torture I put my self through(related to him).  You see was this other problem where I had held such resentment in my heart that I was unable to let him in and once I realized that he was more then a guy I could just flurt with, he was gone.  

So I will take my battle wounds and show my scars. want to live life and the guilt i developed from my secret was killing me.  He thought I had secrets, but Ihad only one.  One which only one person was able to help me through it.  I could never tell any one, but it is over now.  

I hope some day I find love, the perfect kind, the kind of patience and exeptance.  Never judging and peaceful.  For that is the third thing we strive for in life. The second is finding our selves. the first is being as beatiful as we can in God's eyes.  With out these, happyness is relative.  

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


1 posted 09-14-2005 10:27 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

"I hope some day I find love, the perfect kind, the kind of patience and exeptance.  Never judging and peaceful.  For that is the third thing we strive for in life. The second is finding our selves. the first is being as beatiful as we can in God's eyes.  With out these, happyness is relative."

How heartwarmed I was to see you believe our first responsibility is to be pleasing to God.  Please hold that VERY dear in your heart and the rest will come.  

Our world is far from perfect as we also are, so there will always be trials, but they tend to refine us into better human beings. We can't avoid problems but we can  work through them with God's help.

Someone wise once said to list all the characteristics you want your life-long mate to possess.  When finished, look at them one by one and honestly answer whether they are characteristics you possess.  If not, that's where the work should begin.  

Lastly, one who'd shun you when you're ill, is not a characteristic welcomed in a relationship.  Move on with a smile.

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


2 posted 09-20-2005 11:58 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi


I have seen as with a long look
the best a man can make
is to create his own goodness

out of a clear image of himself
the satisfaction in simply being alive
the pleasure of his own eyes

Ecclesiastes
V  (3 : 1)
ctowen
Member Elite
since 10-18-2001
Posts 2287
Green Mountains of VT


3 posted 09-21-2005 09:30 PM       View Profile for ctowen   Email ctowen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ctowen's Home Page   View IP for ctowen

it's not what you will find ....

          ... the right kind of Love will find you!

        once you fully love yourself, and
everything around you absorbs that feeling ...

               love will be looking back at you ... no doubt!

             'til then love yourself and be true.

   CT

A word in hand is worth two in a hush ...  CTOwen/05

              
 
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