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Issues need solving (ESP. for the parents on this site)

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spritrider87
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since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


0 posted 07-19-2005 11:19 AM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

All I can say is that I am 18 and getting myself into serious trouble. And parents I want you to know that you can have the most trustworthy kid in the world and they can still go wrong. They...we need you in our lives. We need you to sit us down and talk to us. Even if at the time we aren't happy about it and dont respond the way you want.
We do hear you and it does stick. Dont tell your kids they cant do something. explain why you dont want it done. Esp. if you have teenagers. Because we will retaliate and do what you said not to with out a good reason for you not wanting us too. Make sure that friends are not having a bad influence on your child because no matter how strong and how smart a child is. It is nearly impossible to tell friends no when they offer you beer or drugs. I know. Because I now have a problem with both. Just because we are growing up. doesn't mean we have grown up. you know we have our moments when we revert back to child hood or even todler hood because things get out of hand and we want help figureing things out. we are only teenagers. still kids in essance. We may be leagly considered an adult but that doesnt mean we want to be one. I am still despretly holding on to being a kid and having fun. And even if we say we dont want to talk. we really do. we may hide in our rooms or sulk or wear cloths you dont agree with or become things you dont want us to be of finaly tell you we are something different than you though. but this isnt to push you away. it is to bring you closer to us. we want you in our lives but we dont nessicairly want you running it. let us make some of the decisions. let us experiment with makeup and clothes. Because it is much better than experimenting with drugs and alcohol and our lives in general. I am writing this because I know there are kids out there like me. Kids that dont talk to their parents or parent because they think that their parents or parent dont want to talk. We dont like burdening you. So if you could find time. talk to your kids. print this out and show them that it wasn't some crackpot adult that wrote this but a kid just like them. A kid in trouble trying to help you keep them out of trouble or help them out of trouble if they are already in it. I am 18 years old. and because i listened to my friends when they said it wouldnt matter if i did drugs or drank i now have to find a way to tell my mom that I got addicted to both substances and that I need help getting away from those people and those things that have made my life harder than it already was. spritrider87@yahoo.com is my e-mail adress. if anyone wants to know the whole story of why I put this up just contact me. kids and parents alike. I am not some sicko. I am just a kid trying to save other kids from going through my hell. and parents from asking what they could have done. because in the end talking to us is the only way to know what is going on and how to help us if we need it.

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

SEA
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1 posted 07-19-2005 11:55 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this...it is hard, just because you are 18 doesn't mean you are ready for what being an adult involves. It's hard, and it's scary at times. I hope you talk to your mom, and soon. Get the help that you need. Let your mom help you, it's what she's there for. She may be hurt or upset, and that is understandable, but like most parents, we might get upset, but we would rather have you come to us and ask us for help. We aren't mind readers. I do have teens, and I am constantly talking with them and stay very active in their lives. Thank you for this post. I hope it helps families come together and talk. I hope you get the help you need. It's not always up to the parents to start the converstation, it is really wonderful, when kids trust their parents enough, to open up and let them in.
spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


2 posted 07-19-2005 11:58 AM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

this was alos ment for the kids to read so that they would know it was alright to talk to their parents too. I plan on talking to my mom but she is gone for the month so it may be a while and i dont know if i have the time to wait.

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

SEA
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3 posted 07-19-2005 12:02 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

is there anyone else you can talk to until she gets back?
Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 11-05-2004
Posts 988
Ca


4 posted 07-19-2005 04:42 PM       View Profile for Cloud 9   Email Cloud 9   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cloud 9

I don't have a teen, however, I do have a preteen (12). I, too, am active in his life. Not too much where it is overbearing.....maybe sometimes he thinks I am. I give him his independence to a certain degree. I really liked that you posted this. I am sorry about what you have been through. I have found here that alot of people support you if you have no where to go. You can email me if you'd like.
ctowen
Member Elite
since 10-18-2001
Posts 2287
Green Mountains of VT


5 posted 07-19-2005 04:54 PM       View Profile for ctowen   Email ctowen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ctowen's Home Page   View IP for ctowen

I am not a parent but it is apparent that you do need to talk and hopefully get a few ideas what is the best way for YOU to step along ....


         the one thing above all the rest here at PASSION's is the circle of friends that will drop their own lives for those in need at a drop of a hat!


         feel free to pick our brains, our thoughts, and our hearts for many of us have been there ... somewhere ... in the middle of it all, at least once!!  LOL


        Hope you can find the help you seek ....

      best wishes!!  

                                         *  Ct

"In life's giving ... love is a gift, such worth living."

If it wasn't right, wasn't real ...
then why did it make us feel ....?

              

spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


6 posted 07-19-2005 06:01 PM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

No there really isnt anyone eles too talk to. And I'm not sure I will talk to my mom anyways. we havent for the last 18 years. and it would be hard to start now. Esp. with this subject. I just dont want other kids to end up in the same boat as me. thats all. so tell them you love them every day. even when you are mad.

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

SEA
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7 posted 07-19-2005 07:40 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

I do sweetie...

for you....
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


8 posted 07-19-2005 08:37 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

My hat goes off to you for being couragous enough to write and share this.  You're a very caring person.

I'm a grandma of 13, the youngest is 13, and I had 5 children, so I've seen a few problems.  My own children hated to tell me when they were in a bad situation, but usually did and were quite surprised that I didn't kill them afterall.  One of my grand daughters spent a great deal of time with us and she'll confide in me even through her tears.  Why am I saying this?  To let you know you can talk to your Mom or someone and surprisingly find them compassionate and helpful.
Suggestions: 1)Call Al Anon while your Mom's away.  They'll help you get started and your Mom will be glad you took a step toward getting help.
2) Print out this post you've written (and the respoonses?).  Give it to your Mom when she comes home and you tell her you need to talk.
Has anyone told you the most important step in getting help is admitting you need it?  You've already taken that big one.  You may have made mistakes but you're quite an intelligent person.  Please keep in touch with us.  We are a group of very caring poets and wannabe's.

(((warm hugs))),
   Rae
spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


9 posted 07-20-2005 03:44 PM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

Thankyou sea and sandgrain....I suppose that even I might be able to break the unspoken vow of silence my family has had about talking...but its a scary thought. And its hard to do.

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 11-05-2004
Posts 988
Ca


10 posted 07-20-2005 04:24 PM       View Profile for Cloud 9   Email Cloud 9   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cloud 9

Your still young and are admitting the problems that you have so you can still make the changes in your life. You being this young and voicing what you are going through is a huge step.

Again, email me anytime. Please check your email..
spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


11 posted 07-22-2005 03:35 PM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

I will...

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


12 posted 07-25-2005 05:59 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

My heart is heavy knowing you need some help, yet I'm so thankful you've admitted that.  There are more avenues of help available today than ever before so I trust if one appears to be closed to you, you'll search for another without giving up.  You may be destined for greater things than you can dream right now, so please find help and be totally truthful with the helpers.  That's so important because if you're not, you may miss the very thing you need.

God bless you.

((((((HUGS))))))

   Rae
spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


13 posted 07-26-2005 10:18 AM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

Thanks everyone....

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


14 posted 07-28-2005 02:00 PM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

I have started AA meetings. Just thought I would let you all know.

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


15 posted 07-30-2005 10:02 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

Yeah!  You're headed in the right direction.  It may be a rather rocky road but it'll be worth every step of the way.  I'm rootin' for you.
spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


16 posted 08-05-2005 02:50 PM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

Thanks.

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


17 posted 08-05-2005 09:09 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman

Even if I don't know you, I'm proud of you for taking these difficult steps. You'll win in the end, I'm sure of that.

I've two grown up girls, never had big problems with them concerning drugs or drinking, maybe because we always could talk openly and they knew we were always there for them when needed.

If you, like you said, haven't talked to your mom for 18 years, then take the first step, it can't go worser than it already has been, can it. You only will gain by it I'm sure. Maybe your Mom is as frightened as you are, but equally desperately wanting to talk to you. You'll never know until you try.

Keep in touch with your bluepaged family here, they'll support you whenever you need supporting, day and night, because we're global (if that's a right word) there's always someone awake somewhere. Knock on our doors and we'll listen.

Good luck.

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


18 posted 08-10-2005 03:45 PM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

I told my mom. shes pissed.

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


19 posted 08-10-2005 04:06 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

She may be pissed, but may also be relieved.
There are worse things than being pissed...such as...being totally ignorant of the sufferings of your child, being deaf to a cry for help and understanding. You both have a golden opportunity here. Hope you can both build on that thought. Hugs and good luck to both of you!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


20 posted 08-10-2005 04:11 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Yes...she probably is.

And she will soon be aware that it was a difficult road for you to come to her...

and then she will be grateful that it wasn't more.

Good luck with the AA, m'friend.  
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


21 posted 08-11-2005 09:14 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

Am I proud of you!  You bit the bullet and told her.  That took a lot of courage.  You have these great characteristics that will work to your advantage.  I'm sure your mom was stunned, hurt, and quite ruffled, which is understandable, but not what you'd hoped.  You still did the right thing.  Trying to keep it all under cover, only worsens the situation.  God bless you.  Thanks for letting us know.
   (((((((warm hugs)))))))),

            Rae
gemjop
Member Elite
since 11-18-2002
Posts 2663
Pencilveinia, USA


22 posted 08-11-2005 09:50 PM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

Seriously, the fact that your asking for help is the biggest and best way you can ever help yourself. Accepting you need help and want to do something about it.

I'm proud of you and i don't even know you!

Keep going, even if your mum isn't happy, she'll be happy youre asking for help, even if she doesn't admit it.

spritrider87
Member
since 05-31-2003
Posts 292
mass. u.s.a


23 posted 08-16-2005 02:59 PM       View Profile for spritrider87   Email spritrider87   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spritrider87

Thanks everyone. things have been hard on my end of the line. it seems as if everything is beginning to crack. But knowing that you guys are proud of me and rooting for me have helped. thank you for every thing. I wont forget it. :`(

I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left.

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


24 posted 08-18-2005 04:22 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

I really admire your courage and determination.  Although things are stormy now, keep looking for the rainbow.

Even though you don't believe, I'm asking God to watch over you and see you through this trial.  He believes in you.

Did you know I have 3 18 year old grandkids?  One boy and 2 gals, all from different parents.

Wishing you the very best.

(((((((Warm hugs)))))))),
          Rae
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