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vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

0 posted 2004-09-09 02:30 AM



Whats wrong with me?

why can't i sleep at night?
why do i have a pain inside that never goes away?
why do i have a phobia of other people vomiting?
why have i given up on hope, because the fear of getting hurt it just too strong?
why am i always the one who comes last?
why am i forgotten?
why am i alone?
why do i wish i could go to sleep and never wake up?
why am i not strong enough to deal with problems, like a normal person?
why am i being punished?

"Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath"-Kurt Cobain

© Copyright 2004 Kirsty - All Rights Reserved
vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
1 posted 2004-09-09 02:36 AM


oh my god...please everyone IGNORE this if you read it..it sounds so INSANELY WHINY!! i wish i hadn't written it...if you read it, feel free to think.."what a whiner...drama queen...idiot..." im sorry for submitting such an IDIOTIC message...SORRY

"Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath"-Kurt Cobain

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
2 posted 2004-09-09 05:15 PM


lol...

I know how you feel.

Esp. about the one "why have i given up hope, because i am so scared of geting hurt"

That one, well i can really relate on that one. I just screwed up a very good relationship, because i was just so scared of getting hurt...I ended up hurting him a lot, not to mention myself, because i lost him...

YEAH, anyways. I know how ya feel.

Karissa

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Obscurity
Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153
In A Melancholic Dream
3 posted 2004-09-14 07:51 AM


It's only natural, I, like many others, are afraid of being hurt. Trust... I think it's all about trust.

[url=]If your heart is filled with compassion, help me, please[/url]

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2004-09-14 01:51 PM


it sure as well may be all about trust, but at my age, I've learned to trust myself very well, and sink no investment in someone else's hands, that way, there are no expectations, avoiding any hurt...besides, I've never known someone who could go the distance..and so, I am not missing anything.

I just think that we'd all be a lot better off by being more self supportive, not relying on others for our happiness.  

Being independent, puts life in a whole new perspective...
I don't need anyone to take care of me
or feel insecure because I am not a couple
I can go anywhere I please, eat when I'm hungry, watch anything I want on TV, go for a walk, sing in the shower, without anyone coming to look for me, or telling me to shut up b/c I have no opinion or voice.

And until I find the right guy, why should I compromise what I have now?  This is the first time in my life I've been alone, and by God, it was hard at first...I wonder now even if I might have been a bit co-dependent...but now...I'm liking it...more and more...and yes, there are lonely times, but not lonely enough to become the sole caregiver and being a mother to some man again...there are good wonderful men out there, believe me...there are, but, I don't know if I ever want to trust someone with my heart ever again.  That kind of pain was awful...and never do I wish to go there again.  Call me an ol bitty, whatever...but, there is so much more peace now, and whats good for one, may not be good for another...cause I think I had my fill of trusting everyone else, instead of God.

Nuff said...
Good luck

vampiana
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere
5 posted 2004-09-17 01:14 AM


i have stopped trusting people, ive been hurt so many times by so many people, i think ive forgotten how to trust.
IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
6 posted 2004-09-18 03:33 PM


Life's too full of drama for me.

If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
7 posted 2004-09-19 06:14 PM


Trust just causes hurt. You just start to trust someone and then they turn around and tear your heart to pieces.

But you need to have SOMEONE in your life whom you trust, otherwise you'll just end up destroying yourself @_@

and then He created the horse...

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