I can relate to this to a certain point.
My best freind, whom i also met a year ago, around this time, was into drugs. When i met her, i at first refued, then gave in, and did them. ( smomking drinking, Marijuana, stealing..ect.) I got cuahgt for almost all of these things, and during the time i was grounded, i cleaned myself up, and "started over" I wanted lynsaey to too, but she would never do it. She would say she would then do it and make up some excuse. I felt really guilty, b/c i couldnt help her. I would try sooo hard, but i couldnt. As the summer went on, i was gone, and she got into cocaine, and meth, and freeon, and did X and Valume. A few weeks after i got back, she ran away, and ended up getting raped, while she was coming off of a 2 day high. ( Volume, X, and Mary Jane, not to mention she was also drunk alomost the whole time she was gone)
This was when i finally realized, that i couldnt help her. You cant help someone who wont help themselves. And that is what i am telling you. You can be there for her, and you can support her, but dont feel guilty, for anyone to be able to help her, she needs to help herself....if that makes any sense...lol
I just wanted you to know, you arent alone. Sometimes i still feel guilty. If i had not left for those few weeks, if maybe i had done SOMETHING different...but in the end, i know it wouldnt have mattered.
I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.