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Passions in Poetry

friend in need

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darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 12-03-2003
Posts 514
Underneath


0 posted 09-08-2004 04:04 AM       View Profile for darkness_witch   Email darkness_witch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for darkness_witch

I hav a friend who i made this year and is seriously depressed. she had been for almost three years. She had been in and out of eating disorders, self-mutilation, and denial. She is an amazing person but has dealt with her fair share of trouble, with family and friends.
As I said, I only met her this year, but she trusts me with everything. At times I almost feel shmothered with everything she puts on me, but I care about her too much to back off. She says I am the only person that can relate to her, and I understand that.
I hate how I cant do anything to help her, or change how she feels. she is on anti-depressants and make her feel so much ebtter, but things still hit her really hard.
She says she can talk to me and realte with me etc etc and I almost feel guilty that I cant help her. I cant change her and I wnat to be able to, I want to be able to say things to her that will make her feel like she is loved and an amazing person.
Can anyone relate with whats going on with me? Anyone got some advice?I really need it.

She is an amazing person and I really wnat to help her get better.

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


1 posted 09-08-2004 06:21 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman

I don't think you can, because you're too close to her. Only thing you can do is be there and listen, but it comes all down to the fact that your friend is the only person who can help herself.

Getting medication I gather she's under professional help, that's good.
These things take time, lots and lots of time and being there when she needs you, will help her tremendously. But...never start feeling guilty about not being able to do more.
Don't tell her too often that she's a wonderfull person, because at this point she's not ready to believe you and therefor won't believe anything else you have to say, or simply won't listen to you. She will say yes at the time, but will deny it soon after, because she still has this 'bad' image about herself.
She has to learn to love herself first you know. It's difficult on your part, but being yourself and treating her with respect, will help her to find herself again in the long run.

I've been there, I know (a little).

Titia


Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 11-27-2003
Posts 991
nowhere special


2 posted 09-08-2004 07:48 PM       View Profile for kissa~rachelle   Email kissa~rachelle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kissa~rachelle

I can relate to this to a certain point.

My best freind, whom i also met a year ago, around this time, was into drugs. When i met her, i at first refued, then gave in, and did them. ( smomking drinking, Marijuana, stealing..ect.) I got cuahgt for almost all of these things, and during the time i was grounded, i cleaned myself up, and "started over" I wanted lynsaey to too, but she would never do it. She would say she would then do it and make up some excuse. I felt really guilty, b/c i couldnt help her. I would try sooo hard, but i couldnt. As the summer went on, i was gone, and she got into cocaine, and meth, and freeon, and did X and Valume. A few weeks after i got back, she ran away, and ended up getting raped, while she was coming off of a 2 day high. ( Volume, X, and Mary Jane, not to mention she was also drunk alomost the whole time she was gone)

This was when i finally realized, that i couldnt help her. You cant help someone who wont help themselves. And that is what i am telling you. You can be there for her, and you can support her, but dont feel guilty, for anyone to be able to help her, she needs to help herself....if that makes any sense...lol

I just wanted you to know, you arent alone. Sometimes i still feel guilty. If i had not left for those few weeks, if maybe i had done SOMETHING different...but in the end, i know it wouldnt have mattered.

Good Luck!!!

Karissa


I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 12-03-2003
Posts 514
Underneath


3 posted 09-09-2004 01:06 AM       View Profile for darkness_witch   Email darkness_witch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for darkness_witch

thank you so much.

you guys have really put things in perspective for me. I really do appreciate it.

I hope it all sorts itself out Kissa.

Thanks agen

loveandempathy
darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

vampiana
Member
since 09-08-2004
Posts 297
Nothing and Nowhere


4 posted 09-09-2004 02:33 AM       View Profile for vampiana   Email vampiana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vampiana

i think i know this person too?
i know how you feel, if it is the person i'm thinking of...i found out all the stuff today, when we we're having a convo about feeling depressed..etc...
i wish i could help her too, finding out about what she's been through, made my problems seem so miniscule...i think that all we can do, is just be there for her...just always be there, always be a shoulder to cry on...

"Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath"-Kurt Cobain

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