My life just seems to just be unbearable right now. I really like this guy right? And he liked or likes me back...but over the past few weeks we have sort of grown apart and it hurts sooo much. I spent all day today crying, and i just cant seemto let him go. I try so hard, but i cant...he is moving over the weekend, and i know that nothing is ever going to be the same. IT jsut sort of hit me for the first time. REally hard. I started to cry, and jsut couldnt stop. I jsut dont know how to handle it anymore. I just feel so lost, and emotionally drained. I just want to go to sleep, and never wake up. ( not meant suicidally) it hurts to even move. Physically and emotionally. i cant go without one minute of thinking about him atleast once...i mean, i am about to cry just writing this. i hate it that i let myself get so attatched. The last time i felt even close to what i feel right now, i promised i would never open p like that to a guy, and i did, and i really loved him, and i still do, and it jsut hurts so bad. I want to just pick up the phone and call him, but for one, i am grounded, and two, i wouldnt know what to say to him. Atleast anything that would make a difference. Why did i have to fall in love with him. I knew i should have just stopped everything, the moment we got that close.
I just really miss him. I miss how things used to be. But they will never be like that again. I just cant seem to accept it.
I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling