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lost forever within my self and gone to the world
| Feelings |
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lost forever within my self and gone to the world |
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spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
i have lost myself. who i am. who i was. i dont know where to go. or even wich way is up or down. i have thought of possibly writing my story down on paper. but for who to read. i want to get my story out to other teens. let them know there not alone. but i've been told too long and too many times that people wont accept me. dont tell any one. i want to write but it is like i have forgotten how. i dont know what to do anymore. last night i got a notebook to start writing my story in. but i didnt know how to start or what to say. because i've always said i dont want to be a statistic. but if i write my story i'll be admitting that i already am a statistic. i'm scared and lost and confused. i dont know what to do anymore and it is tearing my apart. if you have any suggestions any at all please i'd like to hear them. thank you. bye.... jian spritrider87@yahoo.com e-mail me if you want to. "alone yet unafraid to hurt. i go through every day trying to find my way. where is the light. where is my fight. is this how it ends?" |
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| © Copyright 2004 Jian Sterry - All Rights Reserved | |||
bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
it is good to reach out, you can send me an email. Just hit the email icon in the reply. bernie  A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I wish I could say I had some answer to this--but I've read this all night, and all I know is I am forty three years old and feel the same way. I could call my mom, but she would say the same thing. but gone to the world? I don't think so. It's more like we adapt to what we know and then we define ourselves in surety and say "that's me" as the things around us change. Then we need to move again--we evolve--in an adaptation. Not lost, lovie...no. Just in a constant state of re-creation, due to the extenuating circumstances... I hope that helps. (It probably didn't but it's the best I can do.) |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
I've found myself saying many of those same things. And the one thing I discovered that I didn't lose who I was, rather I needed to find out who I was. And my writing was a huge part of that discovery. I discovered what I liked and what I didn't and what made me SOOO angry and sad. I don't think anyone is a statistic. I think everyone is an individual, a unique and special person who was meant to be on this earth. I also realized that many of the things I was told about myself and believed about myself were lies. And as sad as that was, that meant there were true things that I didn't yet know about myself - which was an exciting thought. I hope that helps - you can feel free to email me if you like I guess the last thing I would say is that I have experienced so much healing and that you can have it as well, that there is hope. |
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spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
thanks guys... i'll keep it all in mind. i guess i have to keep tring. and i am glad that i could actually reach out. i haven't done that before. and i will continue to write no matter what. aven if both my hands are cut off i'll write. it's all i have. "alone yet unafraid to hurt. i go through every day trying to find my way. where is the light. where is my fight. is this how it ends?" |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Sometimes writing can be like cutting out a bullet. It hurts, there's blood and pain, but in the end, what caused the pain is gone and you can start to heal. I hope you continue to reach out. There's always someone here who cares. Oh, make me Thine forever |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
writing is the best way to start. thats is how i found out i could write poems. i needed to express myself, i needed to get things out, i needed to see what was happening to me, i started by writing as much as i could remember about all that happened good and bad , unfortunetly most was bad, i saw the red flags but was blinded, anyway after i wrote all out, i relized why i could keep going down, never move on, what had a hold on me. surprised and scared the hell out of me. but it was a writting i needed to do. i would like t do a book about my life to help others from the pain that life can bring, let them know they are not alone, back in my day, when you was raped, no one listened, all blamed you, cops did nothing, so allot of bad things that happened to people went unheard of, no one spoke, now people are, and it is needed, to get out in open, people need to know what is happening here not in other countrys, family need to be families with values and morels. teaching rights, respect, the pain and chaos has to stop. the chain has to be broken. the words need to be seen and not only heard. write it all out. you can do it, you can make a difference in not only your life, but in anothers. take care My spirit will rise |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
hi im 14. and already i feel like im lost and kinda distant to everyone else. writing has been wonderful for me and even readding other peoples stuff helped so much i love reading ur poems and i read ur other post in feelings and u sed you were leaving this site. that kinda sucks for me, but if its what you think will help you find yourself im glad for you. your poems They say and Ugly had a big effect on me. They Say just reflected back to me so much. and Ugly was just brilliant as well. all your poems youve posted have been the idea of you wanting to help other people and make them feel less alone, well dude you have already done that. i could be saying this to a lot of people who post on this website but you are leaving so just wnated to give my fare wells. id like it if you emailed me some of your writing, cus ur skill will come bak to you im sure. spunky_sophie@hotmail.com. and even if you just feel like a talk or something. best wishes and many thanks Love and empathy Sophie nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. [This message has been edited by Ron (04-18-2005 05:01 PM).] |
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spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
I'm back. the poems will come slowly but i'm back I am not alive. Just a shell mearly moving with what is left of a ghost. An echo I am whats left after the true thing has left. |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
OMGosh, when I saw this my eyes welled up with tears of joy! Welcome back! I've been hoping and praying that one day I'd see something on these blue pages from you. (((((hugs))))) Rae |
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