Need to get somethings off my chest, sort some stuff out.
I have been in "Love" (apparently it can't be proper love as we don't spend time together or something) with a guy for a while now, who until recently i was in denial about the fact that he wasn't in love with me. i always thought that maybe just maybe one day he would realise we are meant to be together and we would be, for a whle now it has been that glimmer of hope that has kept me going and kept me happy.
a week ago he announced that there was no way this was gonna happen! i don't know where it came from but he said i should move on and get over him (which btw i have done sveral times without losing that glimmer, i have been on several dates and had a short term relationship in that time).
i think what he was really freaking out about is coz i mentioned i kept a diary and i use it as a way of telling him what i have been up to over thedays i don't talk to him. nothing serious just instead of saying "dear diary" it starts "Dear blah..." it wasn't like i was hiding ti from him or anything i am willing to send it too him so he can read it but i don't know if thats best. i understand how that may seem to his girlfriend but she knows he talks to me i think and that i had a thing for him, my friend suggested i sent the diary to her, but im not sure how they would both feel about that.
Anyway denial. is it really a bad thing to live with? i know i should face up to the fact that he will never be mine, but i was happier and really pleased with my life before he told me no way. i don't want to lose our friendship he means the world to me and he is all i have really.
anyway im rambling and feel slightly better now.
feel free to comment