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KristieSue
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0 posted 2004-01-18 08:31 PM



For a relationship to last, does it always have to start with "falling in love"?  Can one grow to love someone over time...slowly?  Which is better?

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

© Copyright 2004 KristieSue - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
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since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
1 posted 2004-01-18 09:48 PM


Well, growing seems to have worked for me, by and large. 'Falling' though semantical, always sounded accidental. A mistake, a boo-boo, a snafu, a fluke. I've always held the American version of romance has been a bit daft. Fall in love then maybe grow to friendship? I prefer starting friends, then possibly growing into something more. My S.O. and I have known each other since 1997, and have been friends since then. We decided to take it a step further in 2000. And we've been growing further since.  
lone_rider
Junior Member
since 2004-01-20
Posts 19

2 posted 2004-01-21 08:21 PM


Yep u sure can! Thats how i fell in love and personlly i think its a better relationship because u just didnt suddenly fall in love..You've been through alot with someone and you actually now them!! I think its a better way 2 be in love
love always
sheridan

kissa~rachelle
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since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
3 posted 2004-02-16 02:42 PM


I think you can "fall in love" either way. I'm not sure which one is better. Maybe growing to love someone I guess. Being friends, and knowing everything about them first. (well not everything) Or maybe faling in love at fist sight or galnce or whatever. Knowing as son as you meet them that you will spend eternity together. It does sound rather romantic doesnt it. When I fing out for myself, I wil tell you!
~Vampire Kisses

Ringo
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4 posted 2004-02-17 12:50 PM


KS- I have had 3 major relationships that didn't survive. Two of them we were never friends, and they both ended with any semblence of friendship being destroyed. The third one, we were friends before we started dating, and we even got engaged... it didn't work because by the end I was in the Marine Corps and travelling all over the worls, and I was out of touch for long periods of time, and she had graduated from college and had gotten a job in another state. The long distance is what killed us. We are still extremely close, and talk and send letters.
Simply put... the love stops... the friendship usually doesn't.

But now the animal is in pain...
And now it's starting to rain...
But I'm still the same.

muted
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5 posted 2004-02-17 02:40 AM


i suppose "falling signifies a downward motion" whereas "growing signifies and upward or outward motion"...so...
you will break alot less bones growing than falling...so
if your a masochist....
LOL

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-02-17 11:10 AM


Why must there be an either or?

wait...checking forum...

Okay...discussion...keeping it clean.

Love seems to be confused too often with the other "L" word...IMHO..because some just don't want to admit they have feelings of "the other L word".  So they convince themselves it's love...and it feels like love...it feels great.  Butterflies, endless smiling, ect.

I think it's rare to fall in love at first sight...but I think it happens.  And whether it's love or the other L word...doesn't make for any set outcome...it's the work that goes into it...

Now if this where in Mature I would have more to say...

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2004-02-17 12:36 PM


I wholeheartidly agree with the comment above me...adding that there are many aspects, emotions to love...way to many people forget to get to know the person first, as a friend...exploring if there is mental compatiblity, not to mention, the same goals...likes, dislikes, music, intelligence...if there is not...what is to hold the relationship together?  I mean...would you continue to befriend someone who would lie to you, not stand beside you or be there for you if you were ill?  Does this person value life...and love so much so that this person would allow you your independence and to persue your goals or try to stagnate you and sabatoge any positivity you possess, due to their own lack of confidence....and yes, if someone possesses confidence in themselves, a sense of others beyond their own, and they really value life, possessing a sense of humor...common sense, morals, and function well with other people, how could you help not falling in love with them?  Making it a lifetime committment if both agree?

Just my two cents?  Good thoughts to ponder, thank you for writing and sharing.

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