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Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2004-01-09 03:22 AM


I was at the grocery store the other day, and as I was leaving..I was stopped by the manager.

I was with my mother when he told me that someone had told him, that I'd stolen something. So I had to empty my pockets and etc.

I know exactly who it was that told him, considering the store was pretty empty. The only person in the same isle as I was.

I went to the line where my mother was and handed her one thing, then had to go back for something else.

As if I weren't all socially anxious enough..

I feel angry and upset because some people just automatically assume I'm a criminal, without knowing enough of the facts. If you're going to accuse someone of a serious crime, you need to watch carefully at what they're doing. You're not a witness if you've only seen half of the big picture.

It just frustrates me so much. I even thought about waiting for her to leave the store so I could have a talk with her...but I'm not like that, you know? I did think about it, though.. and almost wish that I had spoken to her about this accusation, and why she'd thought I'd stolen something.

Ugh, I'm just going to stay in the house..forever.



© Copyright 2004 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-01-09 07:02 AM


This happens more times than people may realize.  You get half a picture, and make a complete conclusion.  [In these instances, I call those thoughts "concussions"]

Not everyone sees an accident the same way, either.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm glad the management was shown that all was for naught.  Chances are, they're going to be watching out for the "reporter" in the future - who knows?  She may have a medical condition which is fogging her common sense.


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2004-01-09 09:22 AM


Meg~

I do understand your frustration on this.  I have been in a store with my daughter on numerous occasions and watched from across the floor as "management" literally followed her around.  Once she got mad, turned to the store personnel that was following her, pulled the $200 (birthday money) from her pocket and said, "I have money, I don't need to steal, but now I am going somewhere else."

They make assumptions on the way we look and how we dress.  It's a judgemental world we live in.  
Keep your head up and know that you are above their judgements.  


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2004-01-09 09:26 AM


You DO have a very valid point, Kaoru.  People don't change in this respect, unfortunately - They seem not to learn from history.

It's as sad thing, but human instinct is to believe accusations against another as fact.  We've actually come to a place where professional teachers can lose their jobs and see their careers crumple before them if a student decides to make unfounded accusations about them... Sometimes even parents are subject to legal scrutiny if their child doesn't like the way they're being raised... Law-abiding citizens are sometimes accused of criminal activity, and the legal system "assumes" them to be guilty simply because someone decided to make them the subject of their vengeance...

There's something to be said for hermitage, eh?  Unfortunately it gets a little lonely, though - We just have to do our best and wade through life's waves as best we can.

I'm very glad that you straightened this situation out...   

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2004-01-09 11:12 AM


yeah you look pretty dodgy to me kid..I'd not trust you with anything but my life..so..I can see why people get suspicious! LOL

hang in there... it happens a lot..

a few spoil the world and the worlds perception for the rest


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2004-01-09 01:32 PM


I hope the management made  an apology to you that was satisfactory and I also think they should have given you/ your mother something of a discount for the embarassment.

but I doubt they did...

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

6 posted 2004-01-09 06:44 PM


It was wrong. And inexcusable. You handled it with innocent aplomb. I've personally have had a problem with being falsely accused since a priest (that awesome representative of God) took my 10 year old self into a room and told me he knew I was the one who wrote a "dirty" note and put it in a girl's boot at the back of a classroom. After that incident I went berserk every time it happened, to the point where my loud protestations made me look guilty.

Don't get angry with me but maybe mom should have spoke up to at least confront your accuser who may in fact used you to keep security busy so she/he could do a bit of boosting.


ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
7 posted 2004-01-10 04:04 PM


May I say that the eyes are mere windows ....

   it is one's heart and soul which directs them.


              Trust is in the understanding.

      You handled yourself with heart, no need to hide your soul.

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
8 posted 2004-01-11 02:51 PM


My advice to you is this... don't let the actions of others bother you so much - don't let them diminish your enjoyment of life.

Smile at those type of people, and wish them well. You'll win every time.

SwellFellow
New Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 8
Tx.
9 posted 2004-01-11 04:29 PM


Get a lawyer to investigate, and SUE! And tell them before that, "We're never buying nothing here again!"

Im tring to sue my company that im employed with NOW! Its a security company, and I left a good company to go work for them,because I needed more hours. I called them up to see what they have to offer. Well right before I had the chance to give my old company 2 weeks notice, they wanted me to go to work for them that VERY MINUTE! They literly pestered me to go to work for them. So, I did. It was ok, I had 42 hours a week. Then the temp work post closed, they moved me to another place...IT closes, they dont tell me why, they dont have another place avalable, they ignore all my calls to ASK if they have anything avalable, then I pick up the employment guide to see that it says with this compny "20 immediant posistions available!" But they dont wanna put me to work at them.

So, im getting a lawyer to investiate. Maybe a few.

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
10 posted 2004-01-13 02:58 PM


PEOPLE SUCK! i know how you feel, because of my tattoos piercings, (and my dreads i just cut off) people always sterotype, i hate it.  everytime i go out in public i get stared at, i wanna be like take a fing picture it will last longer.  sometime i feel like i cant even be myself or who i want to be because i will be proscuted for who i am, this society still has a long way to go.  i am not saying i am perfect, we all prejudge people on apperance, but the differance is getting to know someone before that opinion is set in stone, i try to never judge someone untill i have at least one conversation wiht them, sometimes i wish people could give me that same respect...but in the words of my father, untill you get the s out your face and ears you wont be treated like a human being.  and sadley he is right, my father dose not look at me like that but he gives me 'real world' perspective, and it sucks, poeple suck.

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

11 posted 2004-01-29 10:40 PM


It can truly happen to anyone.  It happened to me, and I wear a tie every day of my life.  I can't go into most stores without someone asking me for help because I seem to look like I run the place, BUT, one Christmas I rushed into a Wal-Mart with my son (a truly shady sort) to check on something in the electronics department.  They didn't have it so out I went.  I was wearing my "flasher" coat, so I suppose they thought I slipped something in it and headed out the door.  I was stopped by a gruesome little troll who demanded I be searched.  Since I knew her boss personally (he and I had done business together in my place of business) I made a BIG scene out of it.  I raised my voice, but not in anger and I proceeded to empty EVERY pocket on my person, pulling everything out of them and pulling the pockets inside out.  I dug down until I found some lint and gently placed it in the womans hand.  I felt like such a drama queen...err, I mean king.

There was NEVER an apology from the troll, the manager, or even Sam Walton...so if anyone from Benton is reading this, you can ease my pain and suffering with a boatload of Wal-Mart stock!  

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