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An accusation of theft..

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Member Elite
since 06-07-2003
Posts 3888
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 01-09-2004 03:22 AM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

I was at the grocery store the other day, and as I was leaving..I was stopped by the manager.

I was with my mother when he told me that someone had told him, that I'd stolen something. So I had to empty my pockets and etc.

I know exactly who it was that told him, considering the store was pretty empty. The only person in the same isle as I was.

I went to the line where my mother was and handed her one thing, then had to go back for something else.

As if I weren't all socially anxious enough..

I feel angry and upset because some people just automatically assume I'm a criminal, without knowing enough of the facts. If you're going to accuse someone of a serious crime, you need to watch carefully at what they're doing. You're not a witness if you've only seen half of the big picture.

It just frustrates me so much. I even thought about waiting for her to leave the store so I could have a talk with her...but I'm not like that, you know? I did think about it, though.. and almost wish that I had spoken to her about this accusation, and why she'd thought I'd stolen something.

Ugh, I'm just going to stay in the house..forever.

Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart

1 posted 01-09-2004 07:02 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

This happens more times than people may realize.  You get half a picture, and make a complete conclusion.  [In these instances, I call those thoughts "concussions"]

Not everyone sees an accident the same way, either.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm glad the management was shown that all was for naught.  Chances are, they're going to be watching out for the "reporter" in the future - who knows?  She may have a medical condition which is fogging her common sense.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464

2 posted 01-09-2004 09:22 AM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell


I do understand your frustration on this.  I have been in a store with my daughter on numerous occasions and watched from across the floor as "management" literally followed her around.  Once she got mad, turned to the store personnel that was following her, pulled the $200 (birthday money) from her pocket and said, "I have money, I don't need to steal, but now I am going somewhere else."

They make assumptions on the way we look and how we dress.  It's a judgemental world we live in.  
Keep your head up and know that you are above their judgements.  

Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

3 posted 01-09-2004 09:26 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

You DO have a very valid point, Kaoru.  People don't change in this respect, unfortunately - They seem not to learn from history.

It's as sad thing, but human instinct is to believe accusations against another as fact.  We've actually come to a place where professional teachers can lose their jobs and see their careers crumple before them if a student decides to make unfounded accusations about them... Sometimes even parents are subject to legal scrutiny if their child doesn't like the way they're being raised... Law-abiding citizens are sometimes accused of criminal activity, and the legal system "assumes" them to be guilty simply because someone decided to make them the subject of their vengeance...

There's something to be said for hermitage, eh?  Unfortunately it gets a little lonely, though - We just have to do our best and wade through life's waves as best we can.

I'm very glad that you straightened this situation out...   
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075

4 posted 01-09-2004 11:12 AM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

yeah you look pretty dodgy to me kid..I'd not trust you with anything but my can see why people get suspicious! LOL

hang in there... it happens a lot..

a few spoil the world and the worlds perception for the rest

Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines

5 posted 01-09-2004 01:32 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

I hope the management made  an apology to you that was satisfactory and I also think they should have given you/ your mother something of a discount for the embarassment.

but I doubt they did...
Member Elite
since 06-17-2001
Posts 2607

6 posted 01-09-2004 06:44 PM       View Profile for RSWells   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSWells

It was wrong. And inexcusable. You handled it with innocent aplomb. I've personally have had a problem with being falsely accused since a priest (that awesome representative of God) took my 10 year old self into a room and told me he knew I was the one who wrote a "dirty" note and put it in a girl's boot at the back of a classroom. After that incident I went berserk every time it happened, to the point where my loud protestations made me look guilty.

Don't get angry with me but maybe mom should have spoke up to at least confront your accuser who may in fact used you to keep security busy so she/he could do a bit of boosting.

Member Elite
since 10-18-2001
Posts 2287
Green Mountains of VT

7 posted 01-10-2004 04:04 PM       View Profile for ctowen   Email ctowen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ctowen's Home Page   View IP for ctowen

May I say that the eyes are mere windows ....

   it is one's heart and soul which directs them.

              Trust is in the understanding.

      You handled yourself with heart, no need to hide your soul.
Member Elite
since 12-13-2001
Posts 2224
The Ravines

8 posted 01-11-2004 02:51 PM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

My advice to you is this... don't let the actions of others bother you so much - don't let them diminish your enjoyment of life.

Smile at those type of people, and wish them well. You'll win every time.
New Member
since 01-11-2004
Posts 8

9 posted 01-11-2004 04:29 PM       View Profile for SwellFellow   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit SwellFellow's Home Page   View IP for SwellFellow

Get a lawyer to investigate, and SUE! And tell them before that, "We're never buying nothing here again!"

Im tring to sue my company that im employed with NOW! Its a security company, and I left a good company to go work for them,because I needed more hours. I called them up to see what they have to offer. Well right before I had the chance to give my old company 2 weeks notice, they wanted me to go to work for them that VERY MINUTE! They literly pestered me to go to work for them. So, I did. It was ok, I had 42 hours a week. Then the temp work post closed, they moved me to another place...IT closes, they dont tell me why, they dont have another place avalable, they ignore all my calls to ASK if they have anything avalable, then I pick up the employment guide to see that it says with this compny "20 immediant posistions available!" But they dont wanna put me to work at them.

So, im getting a lawyer to investiate. Maybe a few.
Senior Member
since 09-26-2002
Posts 968
blues & greys

10 posted 01-13-2004 02:58 PM       View Profile for eor   Email eor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eor

PEOPLE SUCK! i know how you feel, because of my tattoos piercings, (and my dreads i just cut off) people always sterotype, i hate it.  everytime i go out in public i get stared at, i wanna be like take a fing picture it will last longer.  sometime i feel like i cant even be myself or who i want to be because i will be proscuted for who i am, this society still has a long way to go.  i am not saying i am perfect, we all prejudge people on apperance, but the differance is getting to know someone before that opinion is set in stone, i try to never judge someone untill i have at least one conversation wiht them, sometimes i wish people could give me that same respect...but in the words of my father, untill you get the s out your face and ears you wont be treated like a human being.  and sadley he is right, my father dose not look at me like that but he gives me 'real world' perspective, and it sucks, poeple suck.

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

Member Elite
since 11-17-2003
Posts 4078

11 posted 01-29-2004 10:40 PM       View Profile for steavenr   Email steavenr   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit steavenr's Home Page   View IP for steavenr

It can truly happen to anyone.  It happened to me, and I wear a tie every day of my life.  I can't go into most stores without someone asking me for help because I seem to look like I run the place, BUT, one Christmas I rushed into a Wal-Mart with my son (a truly shady sort) to check on something in the electronics department.  They didn't have it so out I went.  I was wearing my "flasher" coat, so I suppose they thought I slipped something in it and headed out the door.  I was stopped by a gruesome little troll who demanded I be searched.  Since I knew her boss personally (he and I had done business together in my place of business) I made a BIG scene out of it.  I raised my voice, but not in anger and I proceeded to empty EVERY pocket on my person, pulling everything out of them and pulling the pockets inside out.  I dug down until I found some lint and gently placed it in the womans hand.  I felt like such a drama queen...err, I mean king.

There was NEVER an apology from the troll, the manager, or even Sam if anyone from Benton is reading this, you can ease my pain and suffering with a boatload of Wal-Mart stock!  
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