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Passions in Poetry

Self-Loathing, a rant of sorts.. if you will...

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Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow


0 posted 10-02-2003 04:10 PM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

"I hate myself. I hate my sub-genre of emotions, I pity myself. Pity; the most insulting of all things. But I also hate. I hate and pity myself."

This, is my mind's choice of retreat.
This, is how I repay myself for solitude in the night. What am I becoming? Am I de-evolving somehow?

Yes, I do hate myself, and that is my one true weakness. My self-loathing, my self pity. I hate my emotional turmoil, at times, wishing I felt nothing at all but hate and love. The two most logically basic of emotions.

Somewhere along my way, I reached a point of awareness, I've gained wisdom. The problem with getting toward the peak of my journey, is that I can't even partially overcome my self-loathing. It isn't a matter of being fully rid of it, I must have it in order to be equal. But I also must lose, and control some of it. Make it a slave to me, and not the other way around.

My biggest flaw, is being human. I too, can be ignorant and arrogant..even closed minded. But this, I have and am able to accept and lessen.

I am aware,
I am fully aware.

This is why I struggle with my emotions, I should merely be. It should not be as extreme as it is, my self-loathing. It should just...be.

But I know this flaw, again, I am aware. I know it must be fixed, I need to attain control. Because, I will not cross any bridges if I remain in my self's pity..and under it's control.

I must fight it, or perish under the same circumstance as the rest of the world.
bsquirrel
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1 posted 10-02-2003 04:43 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

E-mail me?
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
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2 posted 10-02-2003 04:47 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

(chuckling) if talking to Mikey doesn't help...e-mail me... he has my address

( another example of me being a cheeky sod as Gemma puts it)

I doubt I could say anything he won't, but there is some insight into the awareness and to the spiritual side of reconciling the conflict that I might have he doesn't...

gemjop
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since 11-18-2002
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Pencilveinia, USA


3 posted 10-02-2003 04:54 PM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

You're a lovely cheeky sod.
Cpat Hair
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4 posted 10-02-2003 05:02 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

ah yes...now you talk nice to me...lol...

nice of you to say gemma...
Miah
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since 08-26-2002
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Pennsylvania


5 posted 10-02-2003 06:04 PM       View Profile for Miah   Email Miah   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miah

We all hate ourselves once in awhile.  I think its because we have too much time on our hands, too much information, to much knowledge.  If you hate yourself, be me, it will make you feel better about yourself. lol  Then you will realize that your much happier, and not me. hahahah
Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow


6 posted 10-03-2003 04:08 AM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

Life is happy when I'm in love..but
not with myself..
Craw
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since 09-11-2003
Posts 73
Scotland


7 posted 10-03-2003 07:05 AM       View Profile for Craw   Email Craw   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craw




Self-indulgence is a poor hobby.
bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
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8 posted 10-03-2003 04:37 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

The response to this thread should show you two things, Meg.

1) Everybody has their 2 cents.

2) Some of it should be kicked into the gutter.

Now if THAT doesn't make you smile ...
 
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