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help i need somebody, help, not just anybody...
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help i need somebody, help, not just anybody... |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys 
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more trials and tribulations from the land of weird... ok round two, for all you that listened to my first prolbem thaks for all your advice, it helps, really... well me and my gf are doing great, but something came up today that i dont know how to react to... so some backstory on why this came up... as some of you know my and my gf live wiht her ex gf, which now is not a prolbem...but me and my gf have grown to have a very huge dislike for our other rommate, so we are going to move out. but we have not yet told her that we are moving out. so my gf thinks she will be pissed and start spout off info that dosent need to be said. so my gf told me this fact today. with in the first week of moving back to here she had slept with 2 people, one of them i knew about right off the bat, no big deal it was before we started dating. but then today she said she had slept with another person, she tell me it was before we slept together for the first time, and before we were 'offical'. so i am not sure how to react, i feel like i have no rihgt to be mad, because it happened before us, right? but at the same time i feel like she should have, but if she did we might not be together...also running in the back of my mind is if she evers sees this guy again will it happen, cause she told me that our roomate knew it was going to happen between them it was just a matter of when they saw each other...so my worst fears seem like they have a chance to come true, but i dont want to read into it too much because it happened before us. also jsut some other info, this is my first gf in five years because the last one cheated on me and hurt me so bad i couldent even get out of bed, but that was five years ago im over it, i am just hopeing history dosent repeat itself. i dont now if there is any answers for anything anymore, i dont even know what i am hopeing to accomplish by posting this, maybe just a helping hand to guide me through such a messed up life i lead. so to quote the beatles "help i need somebody, help, not just anybody, help i need somebody, heeeelllllppppp..." "There never was a genius without a tincture of madness." |
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martina Member
since 2003-06-19
Posts 59 |
I persanilly think that you should try to over comer her mistake. martina |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I don't know exactly how to address this.. Trust is one of the most, if not the most, important things in a relationship. For one, your girlfriend is already not focusing all of her heart into the relationship (being that she has another mate). Second, it seems like she's probably made this kind of mistake before.. Not neccesarily the same mistake, but kinds like it. And worst of all, no matter what she tells you, there's still that little percentage of a chance that she may do something even worse than what she's done here. Granted, it was before you were "together". I'd say, think about it, on your own just kind of contemplate how much of yourself you'd like to put into this relationship if you're unable and afraid to trust this particular girl. She must know how you are, so why would she and your other room mate further your insecurities? I'm not swinging to the bad side, or good side of your situation..I'm simply saying that although love is a very open term, it also has to do with devotion, trust, and the fulfillment of the complete you. You shouldn't feel this way enough to need advice, you should feel secure. Think about it, and let me know how it goes, sweets.  Good luck, wishing you the best. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Matt, it all lies within you. I want you to do something, ok? Answer this question: Who do you love? First thing that popped in your head that's who. Ask her the same, to me it doesnt seem she in on the same page as you and I, like you - do not want to see you get hurt. Good Luck , my man . . . is a tough business but just be sure of her feelings first. Hard to tell from here but you do deserve one who will give you the same attention back and not have you asking for advice. If she made you feel secure, you would not have to do this. Hope this helped some, if not, you know where I am . . . in the dark . . .lol xxoo |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
grrrrrrrrrr, i just typed like three paragraphs and the freaking internet cut off. so lets see if i can remeber what i just wrote  well after i posted this i went home and tlaked to her, she was basically in tears, she said she felt stupid, and she hated herselrf because it was like she was going back to her old ways. but instead of causing a fight, because i hate fights, i told her it was ok, consoled her, and made her feel better about it then left it be, no need to discuss it again. i dont know, but i really dont think she can hurt me, i mean sure she could, but i dont think she will. and i do love her, i care more about her than life, i live for her. which might shoud crazy stupid, dumb, or all of the above but she deserves better than what she has had in her past. a bunch of no good a holes that treated her like dirt, and i come along and treat her like a queen, because she is my queen. and i think this scares her a litle, actually i know it does. she has never had someone care about her this much, so she is a little a gasp. which i guess is understandable. i told her i loved her liek a month ago, i wasent how i envisioned it. i was drunk on the bathroom floor crying and it came out. but i ment it then and i still do now. but she said that somewhere deep down inside she knew she did, she just wasent ready yet. which is understandable. i told her the next day that i ment it, every word, but i wasent going ot tell her i love you and all that stuff, of force it upon her and ask her everyday. since that day i have not brought it up, she has a couple if times hinting she is falling for me. but i wont, what ind of person would i be if i did. but anyways, thats the update... "There never was a genius without a tincture of madness." |
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Maddy vanD Member
since 2003-09-06
Posts 99Newfoundland, Canada |
Ok...My lifestyle makes my advice a bit off the wall, but here goes. What does it really matter who she did what with before you and she became a couple. You did the right thing in telling her it was ok, because it really is. And as for telling her you love her, my advice is to tell her as often as you feel like saying it, it is your love and you can proclaim it to anybody you want to. Good luck and good loving!! Maddy |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
thanks...actually since the last time i was on(been moving so loss of internet and can only use in on campus) she actually confessed that she loved me as well...so i guess all is well in this world for the moment... "There never was a genius without a tincture of madness." |
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Maddy vanD Member
since 2003-09-06
Posts 99Newfoundland, Canada |
I am glad to hear it...tell her often Maddy |
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