How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 Feelings
 Hard to be sad when nobody knows..
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Alwye   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Hard to be sad when nobody knows..

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


0 posted 07-08-2003 11:50 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

I'm coming to you all with this, because you'll understand more than anyone else can. For almost two years, I've had a sort of relationship with a man online. We've grown very close, but one difference we had was taking it to the next level. We had been talking about meeting and trying it out 'in real life'.. but he decided that he doesn't think that we should risk losing our friendship over it. I'm really upset over this.. I feel like total crap because he doesn't want to risk anything to make the relationship move on. So it's always just gonna be 'online buddy' instead of 'boyfriend'. I'm acting like it's ok towards him... and honestly I'm glad that we're still gonna be friends, instead of just never talking to him again. But it's so hard.. I want to scream and cry and just go crazy but I can't.. when I broke up with my IRL boyfriend, it was like I was entitled to that.. but here, IRL, nobody knows about him, and they'd think I was crazy for being sad over someone online.. so I came here. You all understand that it's like to have close net relationships, and some of you know how it hurts when they turn out to be less than what you want. I know that this is my fault. I shouldn't have placed so much merit on what this could have become. I should have known that it wouldn't happen...

So I just had to tell you all... I knew you would understand. Thank you.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-07-2002
Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars


1 posted 07-08-2003 01:15 PM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

awww you're right we do understand what it's like! Don't blame yourself because everyone does goes through this at one time or another. What you're feeling is comepletely understandable! Just let yourself be sad for a while and you'll feel more like yourself when it's all done with.

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 07-08-2003 01:17 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Dont be so hard on yourself sweetie...Im sorry your going thru this..and that you dont have anyone there that will understand.
"on line and "in real life" have become a fine line for many...and all to often the distance alone makes things difficult.
And there are a lot of people who arent looking for anymore than online...for whatever their reason, but often they arent honest about that. All we can do is learn from the experience and use the lesson the next time a similar situation comes up.
If its any consolation...youre in good company, a whole lot of us have been here.
Dont settle for anything less than what is going to fullfill you and make you happy.
When ever possible..opt for "real life" ...
in the end..thats whats going to be what will give us the greater personal contentment and reward. Nothing typed or said on a phone can ever replace real touch and spending time together.
heart hugs of understanding coming your way.
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


3 posted 07-08-2003 06:48 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

quote:
When ever possible..opt for "real life" ...
in the end..thats whats going to be what will give us the greater personal contentment and reward. Nothing typed or said on a phone can ever replace real touch and spending time together.


'zactly

listen to the wise moth  

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 05-15-2001
Posts 1281
Canada


4 posted 07-08-2003 07:21 PM       View Profile for chasing rain   Email chasing rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chasing rain

It's hard. I know the feeling. A lot of times, people don't realize that behind that IM and behind those typed out words (typos and all) and behind that computer monitor is a real person. Often, friends online are associated as "child predators" and "60 year old men who pose as 13 year olds", so that stereotype usually scares a lot of parents and creates a barrier between real life and virtual life. That's my problem. But enough about what's happening here.

Online relationships are extremely difficult, moreso than long distance relationships. Online, it's hard to see the person's face, or hear their voice (unless you have the technology to do so). Not only are you separated by a computer and distance, but also your reputation.

I can see why your friend does not want to take the next step. He's afraid of being disappointed (which is silly because you are such a wonderful person with a beautiful personality) or you being disappointed and as a result, he's disappointed you. A very common problem in real life, so how should you treat this? Exactly how you would treat it in real life. Let it go. Don't push it, though it is an extreme disappointment. He knows what a great friend you are, simply in the way he is afraid to face the fact of going in a new direction. All you can do right now is be that friend. At the same time, move on with your life. I'm not saying forget about him, but realize that life is still offering you opportunities, online and offline. It will keep you from thinking about him 24/7, and once you continue on with life, perhaps he will see what a fulfilling life you have and thus want to be a part of it.

Hope you'll feel better soon. Take care!

-Leah
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


5 posted 07-08-2003 07:34 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

I find myself in agreance with the Mothy one too.

Maree.

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 12-27-2000
Posts 5766
Riding


6 posted 07-08-2003 09:45 PM       View Profile for Skyfire   Email Skyfire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfire

I'm gonna email you about this one later tonight
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 10-27-2001
Posts 4115
...in my boxers...


7 posted 07-08-2003 09:45 PM       View Profile for PoetryIsLife   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PoetryIsLife

I hope you're doing allright. Most people who aren't regularly online can't grasp the emotions and feelings that can be shared through the internet, and don't understand what you're feeling. Trust the fact that you're feeling hurt, and allow yourself time to heel. Once again, I hope you're doing allright. It's hard to be hurt.

~Titus

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can." No, really, I do.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


8 posted 07-08-2003 11:34 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

You know I was in your shoes too once, and all the advise and hugs don't make too much difference right away do they?  I hate to tell you that JM is right - there is such an illusion of fantasy over the net, and let's face it any fantasy can come true, so be careful what you wish for.

After being stung - I tend to look for connections with people in the places I like to do things, or hobbies I have, etc. and even if no one is there that interests me I don't say no to invitations to events, as "Mr. Right" may just walk in.  Unfortunately, the net is not like the movie, "You've Got Mail", or at least not often.

I really and truly feel for the pain you are in, but don't disregard him as a friend, as sometimes friends make the best lovers, and eventually, maybe that is all you both need - time.

Darkskyzgreydyz
New Member
since 07-09-2003
Posts 2
Ca, USA


9 posted 07-09-2003 11:27 PM       View Profile for Darkskyzgreydyz   Email Darkskyzgreydyz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Darkskyzgreydyz

I think im going through what you are going through as we speek. Ive been with a girl online for the past two years. We grew to love eachother very much, and we even talked about getting married. But now she wants to just be friends and I am still in love with her. We also have never met. We've tried but something always comes up whenever its time for us to meet. Im trying to deal with the fact that she wants to only be friends but its hard knowing I still love her the way I do. Some advice I can give you, if its in your heart to continue talking to him, dont let him go not even as a friend. Me and her are still cool, and though i still have strong feelings for her, im not gonna lose her as a friend.
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> Feelings >> Hard to be sad when nobody knows.. Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors