Member Rara Avis
By the Seaside
I felt the need to say, I'm sorry about my recent post in the open forum, "Be Safe" First off, it was not directed towards anyone in particular...my sensitive side is kicking in big time today, and yes I am hurting. One reason being, that I see so many of you on here who appear to have formed a bond, be it in friendship, or perhaps something more...or less...dueting together, whatever the connection may be, which tells me several of you keep in touch regularly. And that is a wonderful thing for those of you who do. Over the years I have tried to reach out to those who I assumed felt the same way I do, who wanted a friend, and knew how to be one. I have acted inappropriately on a few occasions, maybe the word gets around. ugh~ I have taken it upon myself to initiate contact when I felt someone was in need of a shoulder to lean on...the truth is I wanted them to know I cared, plain and simple! Only now do I understand that I care too much for my own good, and when my intentions are not reciprocated it leaves me feeling like a fool. I know what you're thinking, well Lori you don't have your email flag up and so it appears you don't wish to be contacted...quite the contrary, I removed my email flag because I never was. By doing so I didn't have to deal with my disappointment, or so I thought. Yet here I am apologizing and at a loss for words. What saddens me most is that I wish I had someone to send this to and dump my feelings on. But as it would happen, when I do not hear back it only makes me fear putting myself out there all over again, and I end up withdrawing even more. I am sure I am completely misunderstood by many. Again I am sorry for my post. I just wanted to be your friend....(no, I do not aspire to be everyone's best friend) But the fact remains I wanted one or two so badly, (stay out of this Maureen) and there lies my first and last mistake. Now I shall go lick my wounds and cry in my beer. If you'll have me, I'll be back another day. Until then, I'll miss your friendship in poetry. I am well aware that good byes have a familar ring around here, but time has way of healing, and I am in desperate need of just that.
Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement on my work. Believe me I tried my best. I hope this makes some kind of sense and that you will find it in your heart to understand, and forgive me for acting up this way.