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Passions in Poetry

I am Beside Myself !!!

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Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712

0 posted 05-01-2003 01:03 PM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

This post is long but it had to be and I am sorry ,

I am Beside Myself !

I am beside myself with such grief and desperation!  I try and not yell out to the world of my problems for I believe there are so many more out there worth so much more attention, but I just can not get over this one! Twenty years ago when I and my sister were having babies and learning just what they meant to us, she decided to abandoned her daughter and so I tried to get legal custody of her (Lacey) but the fathers family had much more money at the time to spend on legal fees and even though I was the one who had taken care of her for the first five years of her life, they got to take her from me… So over the last fifteen years I have had to take their little tid bits of sharing in order to get to see her at all and the road has been so very long. But she is older now and I get to visit with her in fact she was living here with us for the last three months and with child, which delivered on the fifteenth of this month. I was in the delivery room and saw the miracle of God happen before me! And will cherish every moment. I took her and her boyfriend in because they had no where to live even thought I knew he was going to be a handful from the start!!! Well last Saturday night he decided to drink and get drunk! And then beat Lacey with a set of keys tied to a rope and then pull a knife on my two daughters! Well you know the story hours of Cops, paper work, court hearings all week and at least one conciliation is that he can not get out for about thirty days, but the other side meant that I had to move her and the baby to a safe house in order to protect them. My anger and emotions are running rapid and for the second time in my life I want to really hate someone! In the last two years I myself had to face death and this last December it all came to a head, but I am still here and fighting! But this takes the cake and what I feel hurts so bad and it takes everything just to breath. I guess I just had to tell someone (the world) just how ANGERY I am and hope time will heal this wound that gives me such pain in my heart.

Thank you,  Cerenity

Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines

1 posted 05-01-2003 01:41 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

you have mail...

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2 posted 05-01-2003 04:32 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

I wish you great strength, you will need it for this episode of Life. Just make sure you and the children stay safe, and that the new mother gets some much-needed counseling to safely get out of this violent relationship. Once it starts, it almost never stops. I still wear both physical and emotional scars because of a past encounter with domestic violence.
I will light a healing candle and say a mantra for all of you.
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since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State

3 posted 05-01-2003 07:38 PM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

My prayers are on their way ....
for you, your children, Lacey and her baby.


"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

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Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
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4 posted 05-01-2003 10:06 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

My goodness, what an ordeal! I'm glad you were able to unload here. Count your blessings.. at least your beautiful family members weren't killed. I'll be praying for you and your situation.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York

5 posted 05-02-2003 05:35 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing


. . . have faith - is all we can do at times like these - dig in deep and see your strength and the peace you so deserve will follow - one day . . . truly

my blessings to you
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

6 posted 05-02-2003 08:55 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

You've handled everything to the best of your ability, and I'm sure you'll continue to do that.  This is a terrible experience for you, for Lacey, and most assuredly for your children.  I truly hope they're both all right.

I expect that your biggest danger is in this young man's potential to convince Lacey to stay with him - No doubt he'll apologize and promise never to misbehave again.  I pray she doesn't return to him... and that all of you can heal from this experience... Take care and God Bless..
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 05-03-2003 03:01 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Lacey Nan is so right; the young man will indeed make promises he can never keep.  I have seen this so often and also wear many scars inside from this type of relationship.  I think you did more than anyone could expect of you, and to be subjected to that kind of treatment is absurd.  I sincerely hope your daughters realize that is not normal and also its a good time to explain the nature of unacceptable behavior in men to them while the example is fresh.  My heart truly goes out to your niece, and to you.  I know you will now have each other, and the big guy upstairs to lean on for support and that is good thing.  May God be with you all, and stay safe.
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since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA

8 posted 05-03-2003 12:17 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

You and your family are in my thoughts.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270

9 posted 05-03-2003 06:49 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Cerenity.. you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Posts 3337
Beneath the northern stars

10 posted 05-05-2003 11:01 AM       View Profile for skyshine   Email skyshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit skyshine's Home Page   View IP for skyshine

You guys all have my thoughts and prayers too!

Waited on a line of greens and blues, just to be the next to be with you..
~Mr. Big

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Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone

11 posted 05-05-2003 08:46 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

Hi Sweetie,
Do you still have the same email? I'm so sorry you are having this stess. I have been through the wringer with my daughter and her husband and the kids, so I understand some of it. Please email me,and we can talk more.
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Member Elite
since 02-20-2003
Posts 3696
Saluting with misty eyes

12 posted 05-05-2003 09:18 PM       View Profile for Ringo   Email Ringo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ringo

I'll send you healing thoughts, and add you to my prayers.. I have been through similar with a close friend, and it's not easy...
You seem to have the strength to get through it though...

When the morning cries and you don't know why...

since 04-17-2003
Posts 66

13 posted 05-12-2003 07:32 PM       View Profile for Kamala   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kamala


Would it be possible for you to get a restraining order against him?  God... the whole situation sounds terrible.  I can't imagine all that you must be going through.  I grew up in a household with an abusive alcoholic father, and I had to witness what he would do to my mother.  Although I'm on a different side of it, I have deep deep empathy for your current situation.

As others have already said, I think it will be extremely important to keep Lacey away from this man.  And under NO circumstances should someone who has pulled a knife on your daughters be allowed to come ANYWHERE *NEAR* THEM anytime soon.

I truly hope that you're able to safely cut this person from you life.  My thoughts will be with you.

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