Questioning Personal Truths

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Tammy Blessing
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 366
PA

0 posted 2003-04-04 12:33 PM

There is in everyone’s life a time when everything that you hold to be true within yourself comes into question. It is just such a time that I find myself to be in now. I have always believed myself to be, as best I could, fair and impartial, non - judgemental. I try very hard not to allow myself to become involved in others views just for the sake of agreeing with them, or out of fear of losing a friend. But it seems that lately I have been allowing myself to do just that. Maybe it is a mistaken sense of loyalty to one friend or another that has allowed me to doubt others where I would not have doubted before, but I feel that question burning inside me….do I hold my own values true or not? Am I going to allow myself to be swayed by the opinion of others or am I going hold true to what I claim to be personal values? In my mind I know what is true and right. That people who judge or make hasty assumptions based on little or no facts are hurting not only others but themselves as well, but then I find myself doing the same thing, if not in deed then in thought. Does that make me the same as those who DO judge? I certainly hope not. Then again, who can honestly say that they have never disliked someone based on hearsay? That they have never looked at someone and made a snide comment on their appearance or intelligence without knowing that person? I can’t. And yet I say to all that I do not judge. That I do not make assumptions based on looks or caliber of speech. So am I lying to myself? Or am I lying to them? What then, do I really hold dear and true? Some would say I am a hypocrite of the worst sort. I might even agree with them based on what I know of myself. But am I? Is the fact that I strive to love all my fellow man enough? I realize I am only human. And humans are faulted creatures at best. But is that enough to save me from my hypocrisy? I hope so. Maybe the fact that I still question whether or not I AM a hypocrite is enough to save me from becoming one, but then again maybe it is not. I really do not know for sure. I guess that no one really does. I shall continue to ponder the question, perhaps for the rest of my days. Maybe with more time and experience I will someday find my answers. Maybe I will not find them until I meet my maker and it is my turn to be judged. I only hope that when that day arrives I can stand before him with a clear conscience and say, “I tried my best.” And that will be enough. I only hope…..

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

1 posted 2003-04-04 01:04 AM

"Is the fact that I strive to love all my fellow man enough? I realize I am only human. And humans are faulted creatures at best. But is that enough to save me from my hypocrisy? I hope so. Maybe the fact that I still question whether or not I AM a hypocrite is enough to save me from becoming one, but then again maybe it is not. I really do not know for sure. I guess that no one really does."

Perhaps it is the fact that you can recognize this in yourself and strive to change that makes you the type of person you wish to be. Those who are lacking such self-awareness can be truly labled as hypocrites, while those who recognize, agonize, and try to change, can be called humans with faults.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

[This message has been edited by JP (04-04-2003 01:05 AM).]

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

2 posted 2003-04-07 12:23 PM

I agree with what JP said....

But, honestly, there are some people who I simply do not like, not based on anyone else's opinion but my own. I give them time to amend mistakes, consider bad days, things said in haste....but, after awhile when a pattern shows up I back away....

Like you, can only strive to improve. And, of those very few who annoy me most I've learned sometimes, there is something within myself exactly the same...tho. maybe subconsciencely there, nonetheless.... so that means it is a good time to take a look at me, not them....

Only God can judge, but that does not mean we cannot reject some, period! He would have us do that...

My enemies have loyal friends....I never have just one enemy...smiling here...tho. not a laughing matter... it is part of life and part of being human...may I never be so shallow as to judge someone on that scale....

Thanks for this thinking piece...it reminds me to keep my own side of the street swept clean...and that is all I can do... except perhaps pray for others and self....may we all reflect Him.....as best we can.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

3 posted 2003-04-07 09:42 PM

Well Tammy,
I know that when a person declares his humility he just lost it to his pride. As for hypocrisy...a hypocrite never even acknoledges it is a possibility.

And as for trying hard enough...forget it. We are saved by grace. Excellent write.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Tammy Blessing
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 366
PA

4 posted 2003-04-08 12:09 PM

JP~~That is definately my hope...that the fact that I am self-aware will save me from hypocrisy, but I am afraid that there is still a little bit of hypocrite in all of us.

Pat~~ "of those very few who annoy me most I've learned sometimes, there is something within myself exactly the same... maybe subconsciencely there,it is a good time to take a look at me, not them...."

I find that a very profound statement, Pat. That is exactly what I strive for..to look inward.

"Only God can judge, but that does not mean we cannot reject some, period! He would have us do that..."

And Yes, I believe HE would understand.

"...may we all reflect Him.....as best we can."

AMEN!!

Larry~~
"I know that when a person declares his humility he just lost it to his pride."

Is that where my pride went??

Thanks for the beautiful reply. Isn't Grace a wonderful thing?

morefiah
Member

since 2003-03-26

Posts 150
Spanish Town, Jamaica

5 posted 2003-04-09 03:56 PM

Just thought I would add a view from the penny section..... The fact that we can recognise, and acknowledge imperfection in ourselves is itself an act of grace. I have a personal philosophy which is that "We cannot achieve perfection, but we can certainly try" You have done yourself a world of good through your self examination. The true hypocrite never concedes that he/she is. As far as this person is concerned, there is nothing wrong with him/her. To even question (and agonise over) the possibility that you may be one, in my view absolves you to some extent, from that moment when you most certainly will be. For, by the sheer reality of our humanity, we are all at some point, hypocritical.

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