December 4th i had my baby..i was blessed with a quick labor and everything went very well other than she was 3 1/2 weeks early.
i think im having the postpartum depression though and its driving me crazy. im so emotional and i get so upset over everything. i'm extremely stressed and upset right now and i have this feeling of dread because of my fiance's employer..we were expecting good news from the meeting he had with them today and instead we got only bad news. it seems as though this always happens to us. we get excited for something or all seems wonderful and then something (edit) happens, again. im trying so hard to be strong and not get upset because i know he's angry and stressed about his work situation and worried about me and my emotional state right now..
so now im trying to tell myself that everything will be ok..that everything always gets worse before it can get better (as my friend would say). sometimes it works and i get a bit of hope built up to the point that i dont feel like breaking down..but then i remember how sick and tired i am of my fiance ALWAYS getting screwed over because others around us are selfish, two-faced, and ignorant..it hurts me so much to see him get hurt when hes done nothing but be the kind hearted person that treats everyone with respect that they dont deserve. when i think of that i get so bitter and angry and wish i could hurt those people the way they hurt him.
this world is so cruel..and it seems to only be cruel to the people who dont deserve it at all. almost as if to get rid of all the good hearted, compassionate people..
[This message has been edited by Nan (12-14-2002 08:44 AM).]