Hmm. My dad and I have had an interesting relationship to say the least. We both are "ADHD," and so we have communication problems... We both get angry easily, we both assume things, and don't explain ourselves well, and so we have huge fights. My dad and I both tend to say things that we regret later, and when we fight, its big. One of the things my dad said to me though, that I'll never forget, is this: "You can fight all you want, but I'm your dad, and I'll always win." I've been afraid of him ever since. My dad is also not in any way small... *sigh* He works out daily, and, to be honest, the effort I've been making to not fight with him as much is probably more from fear than a wish to be closer to him. (He has never hit me, but he came close once. I don't think he would, but the possibility worries me. Don't worry, if anything happens, I can take care of myself.)
Don't get me wrong, I love him very much, and we have a lot of fun together sometimes. Other times, not so much. He makes decisions sometimes before he lets me explain the whole situation, and when I try to continue explaining, so that I can go wherever, or do whatever innocent thing, he flips out, because I have "attitude," or because "I said no! That's it!" urg. Its frustrating. Especially the attitude thing. Anything I do has attitude. Sometimes it just seems like I can't do anything right. Some days, he'll tell me how great I am, what a great kid I am, but it gets harder and harder to believe him, because the next day, he tells me I'm lazy, I'll never amount to anything, and a few things I won't repeat. Nothing too horrible.
I know some of it is my fault, and I know that I love my dad, and I would miss him terribly if he left, or something happened to him. However, sometimes I wish he was around a little less, or that I knew him as a friend's parent, or just some guy.
Of course, that's only half the relationship. Other times I admire my dad, because he's a very smart man, he's fun and we have a similar sense of humour.
One strange thing I did notice, though, is that when I turned 13, or about that time, my relationship with my dad changed. Before that, I only enjoyed his company, and we got along fine. After, suddenly our relationship went downhill, he started complaining about my attitude, and was just generally harder to be with. The odd part is that the same thing happened to my younger sister. About the time she turned 13, she and my dad started to have major fights, he started complaining that he didn't like her attitude - or stating it rather, angrily - and becoming harder for her to be with. I don't know if we both became difficult when we grew older, or if dad just thinks that when we become teenagers we become horrible people. Anyway, its something I'll be watching for when my littlest sister gets there.
argh... I just want to know he loves me... *sigh* I know he does... its just hard to believe it sometimes.
Hugs to you Brian, and congratulations, I hope all goes well with you and your dad.