I give you a lot of credit for posting this. I did NOT think you were looking for sympathy. You implied you didn't know why you posted, or even if you should.
I think you are a complex human being, like the rest of us, and may or may not have made a mistake.
There is no manual on mothering. We learn as we/they grow. This is only a chapter in the life of you and your daughter. None of it sounds like the end of anything.
Didn't I read she's at school, not shaking any more (from husband, not you?) Maybe subconsciously you knew she needed to be away from ~that~ ....which is not always easy to accomplish....
by you leaving you got her away from ~that~ which may save her untold, permanent damage if continued until she escaped by running away or got into a marriage to "get out".....so, maybe being without a mother is better than being under the stress it sounded like she was under....(ALWAYS SHAKING!) (Maybe I misread, that, I'll go back and reread it.) That is serious... Also, maybe you had to run away, period! We get to be human, and we do make horrific mistakes sometimes, all are forgivable....
how would we ever grow, were we perfect. There was only ever one perfect One.....
I think only One can judge, and if there is a problem with this post it is that someone else has some abandonment issues which they need to deal with; so nice this post brought them to light. I'd be thanking you, myself.
So often I've read poems that have touched a part of me, shut-down, or something I thought I had worked through, only to have it sear my heart...causing me to realize I have more work to do on that particular enlightenment..am I mad at the poet for ripping my heart out? I don't think so.....
Anyway, good luck and God Bless you, your daughter and your husband as you work through this part of life... smiling here, wishing you the best...keep writing....
Hugs and warm regards, Pat
..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..