I've sat here for a while now trying to decide if I was going to post to this, or just keep my "sad" to myself for a change. After awhile I get tired of hearing me, so why wouldnt everyone else? ya know?--I mean, the world seems to be full of people walking around carrying this baggage and we dont even seem to know why. I've said in here before...I refer to it as being "born depressed." Its just always been there..like a shadow. And I wonder why we, I, settle for it? When I read Jen's comment about "falling in love with sad" something just struck me...and when she said how being sad effected her and the person she's become.
But it all makes me want to ask-- arent we supposed to be "flitty teenagers?" Shouldnt we be allowed that? Why do we have to grow up so fast and be so serious. Why do our emotions have to own us? Yes, emotions are beautiful...all of them...but only in moderation and balance. So why do I feel so comfortable with sad? Why is "happy" so foreign? It's like having to give a speech in public or dance in front of people when you dont know how..always feeling like youre gonna make a fool of yourself. I look at the beauty and talent and potential in this place, and I see so many resigned to "sad."
I'm 44 years old and I'm tired...tired of carrying sad around on my chest...
and when I see someone like Jenn, or Chris, saying these things it makes me want to tell you both...and anyone feeling the same way...
dont settle for sad as friend, lover, or constant companion. We need to take back whats been missing, we need to find out why we are this way.. I dont want my kids to settle for this. I dont any want anyone to settle for this. And yes..I know...its real easy to give advice I cant seem to take for myself......
I'm sorry..Im moth rambling...I wish I had something profound to say that would help me understand why sad is so constant for so many. Thanks for listening to mothyme.
[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (10-29-2002 08:16 AM).]