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Passions in Poetry

I hate this... I really hate it.

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Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


0 posted 09-22-2002 12:11 AM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo


I have these issues, and right now I'm crying, because I'm stupid, because I have stupid issues. As a kid i was a loser. Everyone knew me, and they all avoided me, or went out of their way to ruin my life. As a result, I am now extremely loyal. Unfortunately, I expect the same loyalty in return, even though that isn't fair. I hate it. I really do. I want to be the only one... I don't care who's... I just want to be the only one who matters to someone.

It's really, really hard to go through life with a need like that, and to never have it fulfilled. It's not fair for me to expect it to be fulfilled by anyone, so I try not to, but somehow I end up hurt anyway, no matter how much I try to avoid it. I can't stand it. I really hate it.

Anyway, done complaining now. Everyone can ignore me.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 09-22-2002 12:18 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

You ARE the only one.

You are the ONLY YOU.

This, my new friend, is the ONLY thing you can do better than anyone else---be yourself.

And? You know how I brag about my children, right? I wanted YOU to know that I bragged about YOU to my son---how intelligent, and caring, and witty my new friend has proven to be. And just like you asked me once, I asked him to "guess your age"---smiling.

He said, "Tell her I'm twelve, but look fifteen."

Grin...he does.

Hugs you.
Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


2 posted 09-22-2002 12:21 AM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

Being the only me doesn't help if no one else likes the only me. Sorry. I have issues. Don't worry about me.

Your post made me smile, but I don't know... I'm still crying. I'll live. Don't worry about me.

Thank you.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 09-22-2002 12:31 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

My daughter used to be so upset in high school because all her friends were dating and she wasn't. She just couldn't seem to get the boys she liked to like her. I gave her some advice then, that I'll share with you.

Have you heard 'to everything there is a season..a time to be born...a time to die..a time to laugh...a time to cry'?

People are like that too. There is a time when you will find what you seek. Live each moment knowing that your 'season' could begin the next day.

My daughter started to blossom in college..and really came out of her shell and found not only love and happiness but found the real HER inside.

You will find what you need in life. In your time...Good luck.

And until then, smile and enjoy yourself!
Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


4 posted 09-22-2002 12:35 AM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

Gah... boys... Ok. I'll try to remember that. I still think I have psychological issues. You know whats funny though? I can't get help. I cannot talk to counselors. No matter how many times I repeat that whatever the problem is is a major problem to me, they never seem to understand that it bothers me. "Oh, you seem to be dealing with it well," they say. Maybe I just have a subconscious dislike of councelors. That being said, if you're a councelor, please don't tell me.
Miah
Senior Member
since 08-26-2002
Posts 1092
Pennsylvania


5 posted 09-22-2002 12:44 AM       View Profile for Miah   Email Miah   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miah

My heart goes out to you.  I sometimes felt the same way when I was younger.    

I think you have some very good advice give here tonight.  From some lovely people.

All I have to offer is an ear.  Things will get better in time, and your time will come.  A good heart   never goes unforgotten, atleast that is what I believe.



bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 09-22-2002 03:05 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Kielo,
Don't sit and wait and need.
Find your own way about things,
and someday, rather than making yourself sick
lookin' for someone to notice you,
someone will notice you --
and you'd be fine either way.

Fill the hole in yourself with yourself --
only then, will someone be able to enrich
what you've already filled.

Mike
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 09-10-2001
Posts 10765
United States


7 posted 09-22-2002 03:26 AM       View Profile for Larry C   Email Larry C   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Larry C's Home Page   View IP for Larry C

Kielo,
I sure had your experience in my adolesence. And I know that everybodies experience is different. But I will confess what worked for me. One night in bed I made a conscious decision that I was through feeling sad and being miserable. I made a commitment to myself that beginning the next day I would use my sense of humor to put a smile on somebody elses face. What a difference it makes when you aren't thinking only of yourself! But hey...that was just me. It worked then and still does now.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


8 posted 09-22-2002 03:53 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Larry? What a difference you have made in ME many a sad and lonely morn...

He is right, Ki..unleash the joy in you!

feeling grateful t'nite...I love you people.
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


9 posted 09-22-2002 11:18 AM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Kielo, I am not sure what age you are, but I can truly relate and sympathise with you. I am 22 but a few years ago I felt as you do right up to my late teens.  I was the cliché; slightly overweight awkward loser with few friends.
I went through my early school years with victim tattooed to my head, I was even picked on by a teacher who destroyed all self worth I had. It was so bad I had to move schools. Later in secondary (high) school there were 2 maybe 3 people in the whole school that would count as friends, not real friends.

The point of my story is that I can relate, as can many people who will read this thread. Yes it takes time to recover from the hurt and feeling of loneliness. I found myself when I had to move out of home to go to college. I grew in confidence making real friends. I was away from all the pithy school yard jibes. I wouldn’t lie and say that you will never feel loneliness or hurt again, you will but you also grow in confidence and find the strength to rise above the hurt that others inflict upon you. I can tell from your words that you are a caring person, who wears your heart upon your sleeve. This is a rare quality at the best of times and it is one that will attract genuine people. You can only be yourself, all your mannerisms and your thoughts are unique to you. You affect the lives of more people than you know, family & friends. That is an amazing gift that we often take for granted. Be yourself and BE PROUD to be yourself. Take care.
  

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


10 posted 09-22-2002 10:00 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

Serenity? Tell him I look 18, 20ish, and get told that I act older. Sometimes.

And about that bragging thing? Thanks... That's really cool.

Everyone else, the problem isn't with the way I act, or not having friends. I have friends, in fact I have some very wonderful friends. My problem is that I'm selfish, and I want to be the most important one. It's embarrasing to admit, but it's true.

Thank you all for caring.

Kielo
Miah
Senior Member
since 08-26-2002
Posts 1092
Pennsylvania


11 posted 09-22-2002 10:50 PM       View Profile for Miah   Email Miah   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Miah

I don't know Kielo, I don't really see anything wrong with wanting to be extra special in someones heart.  
 
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