I've read this thread entirely and I must say I became angrier and agrier till the end.
Don't know if 'angrier' is a good word, but I think you get the picture.
Here is someone who just wanted to know 'how to know if one's gay', and she didn't get an answer to her question. All she got was a waterfall of pro's and contra's.
I can asure you, being a mother of a hetero girl and a lesbian girl: there's no difference in the way they act or in the love they feel for their partners.
When I look at both my daughters, I see two happy girls, and I mean happy in every way.
I've known from a very early age that my youngest daughter Lynn would come home someday with a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend, long before she herself knew she was a lesbian. I saw it in everything she was. I did not ever try to lead her into the hetero direction, because then she would have become a really unhappy person.
The really sad part is the intolerance and denial of the people around. Well not in my country, thank God. In my country homo's and lesbians are considered on an equal level as hetero couples, same rights, same duties.
Wether they are born with it or choose to be it, is not of my concern, because it's not important at all as a matter of fact.
What matters is if a person can live a life where he/she feels good in.
My own mother, who's 90 and grew up in a time that despices gay's, told my girl's partner the first time she saw her:
"I've never thought I would get a granddaughter in law, but as you are the choice and love of my granddaughter, you're more than welcome to this family".
That's tolerance!!! And she loves her granddaughter in law as much as she loves her grandson in law.
I don't think there's an answer to your question TracyStar, or it must be the same answer to the question 'how do I know I'm in love'. For there's no difference in my opinion whether you fall in love with a boy or a girl and when you do...you know.
a proud mother of a hetero and a lesbian daughter, proud because they live their lives as they both need to, to be happy.
Like scattered leaves...my words will flow