Once Upon, USA
There comes but once in a lifetime a measure of joy so great that it opens the spirit up to a heightened awareness of what it can do, what it can hope, what it can want, and what it can believe. Everything hence and since are weighed based on this once measure. It lays a foundation for understanding why expectations are so prevalent, but at the same time, negates the need for such expectations simply by existing in sight. The minutest of actions, from glance, smirk, smile, glimmer, playful contact, or any one of innumerous others swell to such a great level in this joy, that it enables even the bruised and disheartened soul to feel overwhelmed in happiness and strong in comprehension of what truly matters in this space we call existence. It is not outside the realm of any possible notion of human nature, to momentarily stalemate this feeling once realized, as it is of such cherishable value to the heart, that any hint of impending threat to it, whether true or prefabrication, is cause to raise in willingness to fight to keep. In one soul's eyes, it would seem a fault...a brief lapse to less than the current measure, and yet in another's it would personify an understanding of the measure to such an extreme as to risk, but briefly, the joy for surety of that joy eternally.
One can spend infinity counting the losses of a search for this measure based on a rehearsed list of necessary truisms that must be in place before it can be "there", or likewise can ascend above the bounds dictated by stamps placed into the soul by everyday humdrums of those lacking in concern, and smile...because the minutest of split-second affirmations will far outlive, far surpass, and inevitably disprove the hypocrisies of those wielding the stamps.
There comes in life only once the moment when one realizes who he is, why, and what is important. If one is true to himself at that very moment of realization, the bruises are healed, and the disheartenings are faded. Life begins anew, and measures are more rapidly weighed, and appreciated. If the once-measure of joy is already in place when the self-realization moment comes to be, a soul has found the greatest that life can be, and is higher than any man made substance could afford on the desire to maintain, progress and enjoy the happiness of the two foundations.
It is unfortunate but true that even as this awareness of the once-moment of joy and the realization of the self are into play, it is not a gift that can be given to someone else. It can be praised, explained, and even wished upon the most special of persons, but even this most special of persons must come by the measure and moment by their own endeavor. The beauty in this unfortune lies in the faith of the one wanting to give...and wanting the other to receive...the faith in that special person based on the knowledge of their compassion and zest, as well as their wisdom and perseverance...the faith that can only exist as a nucleus in the cells of trust, honesty and love.
I have such faith, and my once-measure of joy has begun. The self-realization is a moment now achieved, and I look forward to life...even the minutest of things shown by the greatest of special persons in my life.
...And for this, and for you, I am thankful. For sure, I honestly will "never let you go"...and in spite of my seeming short comings to your definition of the there you seek, I will, even if only shown but in the minutest of things, be forever faithful, and eternally full of faith in you.