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on Being Bipolar

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LWF31407
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since 07-10-2002
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0 posted 07-10-2002 07:26 PM       View Profile for LWF31407   Email LWF31407   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LWF31407


What is it like?
Well, it can be either the truest of it's very statement, it can be as cold as the arctic in January, or as cold as the south pole in July
OR , it can be as Honolulu year round 24/7/365.
It depends on the individual bi-poalar

We are 1 out 80 persons worldwide. Well, nationwide, and thusly worldwide, since we are asignifigant melting pot, a cross section , if you will, of the earth.

Some of us have risen to stratospheric fame, and some to equal notoriety over the centuries.
One of us, Nebuchadnezzar, a prototype of Saddam Hussein, rose to be king of Ancient Mesopotamia. And had to lose it all before God Brought him to his senses.


5 of us have ascended the political ladder to the Presidency of the United States.

5 out oof 42..... let see.... that's 11.9% ....... the average across the global populace is 1%.
That means you have to be bonkers to want to be President, but it would surely help. Assuming you have political aspiration to begin with, which I dont. I could see myself as dog catcher. My momma would make me raid the humane society funding and get immunization and food for all them cats and dogs, making house pets out of em. I'd have to resign. And - PRESIDENT FINDLEY - 250000000000 dollar bank account --- OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY GGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I've written about that. And I think it's damn scary......... And I think me in the WHite House would be twice as scary.......
Government service for me.... local level volunteer , if any....... good enough for me...


http://www.ipl.org/ref/POTUS/alincoln.html

The first one to do so was a prepetual loser who won the Presidency as a third Party Candidate
http://www.ipl.org/ref/POTUS/troosevelt.html

The second one ran as a third party candidate after having served nearly 8 years as pPresident. And did better than William Taft, guarantee you that.
(Nothing personal Mr. Taft, just quotin' history you ole Cincinnati Bearcat! {William Taft was from Cincinnati])

http://www.ipl.org/ref/POTUS/ccoolidge.html

I've an interesting tale to tell of this one.
One day his secretary of state came into his office, after having spoken with another cabinet member, 'I bet I can getMr Coolidge to say two words.'
He told tahat to Silent Cal, as was Mr. Coolidge known . 'Mr. PResident, I bet I can get you to say 2 words.'
To which Mr. Coolidge responded . 'Really?'
The Secretary of state stood there and looked like a fool. Flushed faced. Head in his hand.. 'Mr. President, I am truly priveledged to be your Secretary of State.'
To which Mr. Coolidge responded. 'Mr. Secretary I am equally priveledged to have a good and kind man such as yourself as my Secretary of State. Excuse me please, I'm rather busy. Have a nice day.'
http://www.ipl.org/ref/POTUS/lbjohnson.html

A historical President if ever there was one. Look at him. First bassett hound look alike to serve as President. You know I'm right. Nothing personal Lindy.


http://www.ipl.org/ref/POTUS/rmnixon.html

ALthough I list any bi-polar President among my personal favorites, I see 2 strange and disturbing parallels between this one and Napoleon Bonaparte.

WATER-loo
WATER-gate

First name NapoleoN (same first and last letter)
last name - NixoN (same first and last letter as NapoleoN)

ALso we have written such books as 'War and Peace' 'the Old Man and the sea' - and 'The Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint John.' 'The First Second and Third Epistles General of Saint John.' and 'The Revelation of Jesus Christ to Saint John.'

Sunshine
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1 posted 07-10-2002 07:31 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


As the Open Forum is for poetry, I am going to move this post to Feelings.  I think you will get a large response from this post.  I for one will be adding to it.

Thank you for understanding.

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.

LWF31407
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2 posted 07-10-2002 07:32 PM       View Profile for LWF31407   Email LWF31407   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LWF31407

Sunshine FF2DS! (Feel Free To Do So!) Lewis
Sunshine
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3 posted 07-10-2002 07:35 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Thank you Lewis.  My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 15.  She at first attempted medication, but as you are most likely aware, people who are bipolar suffer the problem of "I'm feeling fine, I don't need it!" and then when they go off medication [which is not something that can be an option in most cases] they don't know how bad off they are and most likely refuse all help.  As Martie pointed out under RSWells' poem, many suffer from this, and it is as hard for the parents/siblings as it is for the patient.

You gave us some good information here.  But there is a lot more to it.  I hope more come to understand the complexity of this disorder, and extend their compassion for those who suffer from it.  It was a very compassionate thing for you to do.  Thank you so much for sharing.


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (07-10-2002 07:39 PM).]

LWF31407
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4 posted 07-10-2002 07:39 PM       View Profile for LWF31407   Email LWF31407   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LWF31407

Hello Sunshine. Denial is often a big part of the bipolar's pride complex. But the Bible Says (not to suggest that non spiritual therapy isnt good, for it is)
Pride goeth before a fall.
Andbody can deny they need help. A BIG
(WO)MAN will admit they do.
No shame in admitting. That's why we're on this earth together. TY 4 the kind word. ANd Gld Bless you, and your daugher too!


In Christian Love, Lewis

(PS my mothers cousin Janice was also BP)
Enchantress
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Somewhere in time~


5 posted 07-10-2002 07:40 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

I thank you for coming forward and enlightening us on this disorder.  A ton of useful information here...thank you Lewis.
LWF31407
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6 posted 07-10-2002 07:43 PM       View Profile for LWF31407   Email LWF31407   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LWF31407

And thank you also enchantress.

It's the emotional rollercoaster rode OF rollercoaster rides. And I also attribute being a DV victim in HIgh school (violently tempermental alcoholic father ) to my being BP.

Again TY! Lewis
Dark Enchantress
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7 posted 07-31-2002 08:55 AM       View Profile for Dark Enchantress   Email Dark Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dark Enchantress's Home Page   View IP for Dark Enchantress

I think that a person can be bipolar and not take medication. I have been diagnosed as being bipolar and I don't take medication. I am not always well, but I do well enough on my own. I'd rather depend on myself than on some kind of medication. Just a personal decision.

For me.. everything is in extreme and it switches on and off so quickly. My ex-boyfriend said once "there's no warnings with you.." and it's true. My happy moments are very, very happy and my sad moments are just a darker reflection of that intensity. I've been suicidal and I have been into self-mutilation before (pills, cutting, burning) and other masochistic things (starving, promiscuous actions, going mute). It can get VERY serious if you don't know how to tell yourself that it'll pass. Of course, eventually it comes back.. but you take it day to day. A lot of those things.. because I experienced them.. I learned something. For example.. now I'm not promiscuous, I don't cut/burn/or take too many aspirin anymore, and I'm not at all suicidal.

I think a big problem with the whole counseling thing is that they focus on the "problem" at hand, but forget to touch on all that you lost while enduring this pain. You lose a lot. I know I did. I lost my freedom, many years of my life, relationships with friends and guys, my religion, and my innocence. However, I also gained a hell of a lot. Perhaps that's just my perspective on things.

I look at other people who are bipolar and know they have it far worse than me. I do what I can for them. Unfortunately, typically we believe that we're alone.

A lot of the reason that no one has known about it for years is because I did not want to hurt them. I could only imagine the pain it'd cause my mom and dad so I became a master at secrecy. I can't even cry out loud anymore. I think it'd be a lot easier to treat this if people knew what to look for.

My mom is bipolar, my mom's cousin hung himself, my great, great grandmother threw herself in front of a train, and my great, great grandfather hung himself. This sort of thing seems to run in my family.. I've heard that it can be hereditary, but I was never fully sure of that. Does anybody here know?

I feel like I'm whining or giving some corny talk about how 'great' things truly are so I'll shut up now.

I don't know. I'm rambling. But that's just my experiences. May be helpful to anyone who doesn't know much about the whole bipolar thing.

"The Noonday Demon" by Andrew Solomon is a VERY good book. It deals with various levels and issues revolving around depression. Not only the present day all over the world, but also the history of depression.

Thanks for the post, Lewis. Very, very interesting.






"if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (07-31-2002 09:02 AM).]

bsquirrel
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8 posted 07-31-2002 02:25 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

My cousin is bipolar. I remember one night, staying at my house, he tossed throwing knives nonchalantly into my wall as if it were normal. He became a skinhead for a while. He basically lost his personality.

He was on the wrong drugs for a long time, and that took away years of his life. He was on those drugs the night he threw the knives into the wall. When he kept drooling in front of the TV. When he couldn't fall asleep until 3 a.m.

Now he's on the "right" combination. He's learning about himself, his life and his limitations. Yes, it comes back, even with the drugs, and it can come back hard. But I know I'm not ashamed of him, and love him like a brother.

Here's to you, David!

Said if I only could ...
-KB

LWF31407
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9 posted 07-31-2002 03:51 PM       View Profile for LWF31407   Email LWF31407   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LWF31407

Dark and Squirrel, TY both 4 the comments! Lewis
Midnitesun
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10 posted 08-24-2002 02:36 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

I just read this thread tonight. Bipolarism runs in my family, so I am familiar with the symptoms, which can vary greatly from person to person. And I think it is much more common than previously realized. Thanks for sharing your information.
LWF31407
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11 posted 08-24-2002 02:53 AM       View Profile for LWF31407   Email LWF31407   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LWF31407

Hi There. My mom's cosin Janice ws BP - I may have a cousin on my daddy side - his sister's boy who may have that.
Amongst the PResidents - 13 out of 42 diffeerent men. Nearly 1 in 3. Amongs th Gen. Pop , about 1 in 80. TY 4 the kind word. LWF
paper doll
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12 posted 08-24-2002 06:06 AM       View Profile for paper doll   Email paper doll   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for paper doll

Interesting thread. I have been diagnosised with bi-polarity. I do believe that this, like many other mental disorders, is passed down by the luck of the genes.

The stereotypes that accompany the label are often downright obnoxious and offensive. Currently I'm still in "the pit" and trying very, very hard to stay afloat. I've got the accompanying "diseases" (ugh, horrid title) that come along with it - the ED, SI etc etc and the funny thing is I can accept it, just nobody else can. *shrugs* Perhaps it's the image of your thought of perfect child sinking lower into a wave of depression and pretending that everything is wonderful. Ignorance annoys me, my family, friends and soceity in general are full of it.

I'm going to stop now but thank you for posting this bit of information. With a bit of luck, someone from outside this little realm will see it and perhaps open their eyes.

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

Sunshine
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13 posted 08-24-2002 07:59 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Paper Doll, I do hope you will get the help and guidance you need to control this problem.  My daughter refused all efforts, and today I do not know where she may be.  She "ran away" [for the umpteenth time] at age 26 and left behind her daughter and family.  

As we look back in history, at our own families, and throughout society, it becomes apparent that this particular malfunction of the brain, while not classified a disease, but more as a symptom, it becomes magnified that many have suffered from manic-depression which was gone "undetected" or, worse yet, labeled "eccentric."

Neither side of the road [the parents or children of a manic-depressive] have it easy, believe me.  We become enablers because we want desperately to make this person's life "right" and comfortable.  Without proper medication, they will never know otherwise.  Unfortunately, WITH proper medication [as explained by my daughter when she was on meds for a short time] a manic-depressive only feels "dead" because their highs and lows are "normal" to them.

Thank you for sharing.  
Mysteria
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14 posted 08-26-2002 02:48 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Oh I was trying so hard not to comment but I feel I must to clear a few things up here.  First of all some do manage to control being bi-polar without drugs, but I would bet they live for the "highs", and these are moments where one can go way out of control on various things, like severe personality changes, spending, promiscuity as these are the times they experience their delusions of grandeur, where they think they are capable of doing anything and everything, and eventually this worsens and it is so hard to keep up the pace.  But then the lows set it, and fortunately yes, some can control suicidal tendencies, self-mutilation, or severe depression and float until the next high, but why?

I think any bi-polar person who tries to function without the help of medication is not getting everything they need to be all that they can be.  Bi-polar is a genetic disorder, and nothing to be ashamed of or hidden.  It is simply the lack of certain chemicals being distributed in the brain, plain and simple.  Once the right “chemical cocktail” is discovered a person is as right as rain, but sometimes this takes a while.  Even so, sometimes when the right combination of prescription drugs are formulated, their effect can wear off in time, and then a person who is bi-polar has to try various “cocktails” until there is one that works for them.  This quite often causes discomfort in getting over the side effects, or taking the time to give the drugs to work, which is 10-14 days on average.  This is where a lot of folks give up and think they are better off without medication, not true!  Well uptake inhibitors or SSRI’s as they are called are essential in a person who is bi-polar, as they will increase the serotinon levels to the brain and equalize not only the moods, but with the help of an anti-depressant, will completely equalize and stabilize the brain, and every thought running through it and therefore all is well       

Now there are 5 or more types of bi-polarism, so you need proper diagnosis to know which one you fit into.  Some people suffer clinical depression, which is easily treated and get them back into “their norm” fairly quickly (see descriptions at the site below).  A majority of bi-polar folks are the product at least one bi-polar parent or relative.  Therefore quite a few carry “baggage” they have been lugging around since their youth, so in conjunction with the medication, a group, or a private therapist, psychologist, or psychiatric is a great addition to the therapy required, along with the prescriptions.

The main thing to note is – YOU CANNOT JUST STOP TAKING MEDICATION LIKE THIS UNSUPERVISED, as the side effects can be absolute devastating, and it can do more harm than good.

There are several drugs used for the treatment of depression. They belong to different classes of drugs. These classes differ from one another in chemical structure and in the way they affect brain chemistry. They act on different receptors or impulses in the brain, with some stimulating and others blocking certain chemicals.

We are all different. Our brains and bodies react differently to medications. A drug that is wonderfully effective on one person's depression may not work at all for another person. A drug that causes severe side effects in one person may not cause any in another person. While the trial and error search for the right medication or combination of medications can be frustrating, don't give up hope. The variety of medications available increases the chances of finding the right one for you.

Now you are probably wondering how the heck do I know all this?   Well, not only am I rapid-cycling to mixed episode bi-polar, but I have acute association disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder, and trust me I am quite normal now as all are under control.  There may be a few folks who I have visited, or stayed with me from Passions that think I am a little crazy, but generally IF I TAKE MY MEDS I am okay.      

Don’t mess with this – I did!  I refused to believe I had a problem as I held an exciting, high profile corporate job, succeeded in everything I did, and had tons to show for my life - WRONG – that is part of being bi-polar, mania sets in and you think you can accomplish anything – remember I said that before?  Well, you get a little older and you wonder why can’t you do it, well, fact is you never could!  For me, it was because I had a high lack of serotinon that drove me to run like a hamster on a wheel.  This has a happy ending, I have been on medications for about 6 years now, feel quite normal’ I’m retired, and finally smelling the roses.  Do I have down days, you bet I do, but I know the difference now between “highs and lows” and with help, I got the tools I needed  to cope and take care of myself.  Now, I work with young women who are bi-polar, and suffer from spousal abuse,  in an informal group like setting, and love what I do.

FACT:

Only about one-third of bipolar sufferers seek treatment and an estimated 15% to 20% of bipolars who do not receive medical attention commit suicide.  This is a mood disorder. Its severity can be diminished by treatment.
If you suspect that you suffer from bipolar disorder please consult a psychiatrist (or your family physician for referral to a psychiatrist) for help.

I want to give you all a link that is one of the best resources on the internet for support on all types of depression, bi-polar conditions, and the people there to help are just fantastic.  The site owners are professionals, and there are volunteers that suffer with this disorder that help.   There is so much on the site but it even will tell you if you qualify for, and how to get, free medications, and if you need help they will help you.  There is a chat room of like folks to support one another, a poetry board   (I am there a long time ago when we started the site), and more information of the famous folks who where bi-polar and lots of not so famous ones too.  I hope this has helped someone and I also hope you will have a look at a site I am very proud to show you.  

Now if you can’t find the answer on there, email me at mysteriasmuse@hotmail.com, and I will be very pleased to get it for you.

When you go to this page there are two options – Go to Chat, or Open Mixed Nuts – click the bottom one that takes you inside the can first LOL, then after you have looked around you may wish to chat with some people who also suffer from the very same frustrations as you whether you are the person who is bi-polar or someone who is close to a person who has this disorder.  Are you ready for this, the sites name is MIXED NUTS and it is a fun place.  Enjoy!

http://mixednuts.net/

This site offers a self screening test too.  It is informative to those who have this disorder, and those who are friends, relatives, or loved ones of people with the disorder).  You can live a normal life, happy and healthy life.

Hope this helped a bit.




The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it.
Sharon    


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (08-26-2002 03:01 AM).]

Dark Enchantress
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15 posted 08-30-2002 12:07 PM       View Profile for Dark Enchantress   Email Dark Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dark Enchantress's Home Page   View IP for Dark Enchantress

I will never take medication... ever.

I refuse and there's no negotiations on that. If I am going to be in control and content with myself it's going to be because I did it and not because of some little pills. (Did I say this before? I don't remember.)

I understand that some people HAVE to take meds and that it does work.. my mom loves her prozac lol.. but I've made a personal decision not to. A year or so ago I chose to go see a counselor because I knew I needed to talk to somebody. I'm responsible enough to know when I need help. And that's important I think.. knowing when we need help and getting it.

My life isn't perfect and maybe it could be better with medication, but I don't think that I NEED it in order to be "normal". Maybe it's just my perspective on things or maybe my bipolar/manic-depression isn't as severe as it can be. Bottom line is.. I'm not a victim. I'm not going to treat myself like I'm one. I'm not going to allow other people treat me like I'm one. Everything that I have overcome (which is A LOT) I have done it myself.. now if I had been on pills for years would I be able to know that I can get through anything? (And no, that's not the BP talking) I'm not saying that anyone who takes medication is weak.. like I said.. some people NEED it and that's fine.. but I don't feel that I need it and if I did use it I feel that I'd be selling myself short.

Everything that I have experienced or everything that is a factor in my life shapes who I am.. I accept it and learn to live with it.. I learn from it.. and I like who I am.


"you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A.

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (08-30-2002 12:35 PM).]

LWF31407
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16 posted 08-30-2002 01:05 PM       View Profile for LWF31407   Email LWF31407   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LWF31407

To all who have commented -- and debated. many thanks

And THIRTEEN U S Presidents were BP or very sililar

Washington
Jefferson
jackson
Polk
Lincoln
Arthur
T. Roosevelt
Wilson
Coolidge
Eisenhower
Kennedy
L. Johnson
Nixon
paper doll
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Floating on Uncertainty


17 posted 08-31-2002 02:27 AM       View Profile for paper doll   Email paper doll   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for paper doll

I ditto Jaimes comments on never taking medication. It is nothing short of amusing to have a doctor pump you full of pills to make you somewhat 'balanced' then make you talk about what's really on your mind. How exactly can you talk about what's on your mind if you're not controlling it?

I know, I know, narrow minded view but it's worked for so long.

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

Magnus
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18 posted 09-02-2002 12:14 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

I won't get on a bandwagon....  I have a
daughter who is bi-polar.  I have a
granddaughter who is ADHD...  I, myself am
probably mildly Bi-polar and have had times
of depression or anxiety problems....

Bottom line is...  I have to understand that
I make the choices in my life....even though
I might have behaviours that are affected
by a chemical imbalance....  I still have
to take responsibility for me....and not
put the blame on a disorder that I have.

And many bi-polar individuals function as
normal human beings each day...taking the
proper steps to help themselves function
and if need be,  take the proper meds to
help them get there...

Yes,  I experienced abuse as a child...and
I had to learn why....  I had to learn why
about a lot of things...  But I could not
let the why's drag me into depression...
I had to go on,  work through my issues and
try to function as best as I could...because
I am responsible for me...

Individuals with disorders need support from
others around them and they also need to
understand that they have the power to be
what they want to be...taking the right steps.
Dark Enchantress
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19 posted 09-02-2002 09:31 PM       View Profile for Dark Enchantress   Email Dark Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dark Enchantress's Home Page   View IP for Dark Enchantress

I agree completely.

"you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A.

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