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Neeraja
Senior Member
since 06-22-2002
Posts 832
The Netherlands


0 posted 07-05-2002 07:23 AM       View Profile for Neeraja   Email Neeraja   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Neeraja


HELP!!!  HELP!!!  HELP!!!

Ok here is my story!

In October 2000, I met Albert online.  (Albert lives in the US and I live in Holland)  Since our first chat we both felt something special.  We started emailing, to get to know each other a bit more and from that moment on lot’s of “weird” things started to happen.  For instance… It happens a lot of times that we were sending emails to each other at the same time, they crossed somewhere in cyberspace, and we both found out that we were asking each other the same questions.

But I am drifting from the subject.

To make a long story short, Albert came to visit me in the Summer of 2001, he stayed for 3 months!  (there are only visa’s for 3 months)  In that time we found out what we already felt during our email-correspondence was true!  We were/are in love!!!  We both felt the same…. It took us a long time to find each other, we had to cross the globe, but we realised that this was the “Real Thing”! We are not the youngest anymore, I am 49 and Albert is almost 50 now, so we know enough about life to realise that we must not waste any more time by living separately.

And that is where the problem starts.

Albert went back to the US, thinking he would find a job very quick, so he could earn enough money to come back to me soon.  That didn’t happen, in spite of all his effort, in spite of all his skills, it doesn’t work out the way we thought it would.  He is running out of money fast and still no job in sight!
Then we thought maybe Albert can find a job here in Holland, wrong thought!  The law has changed and it is not possible for him to get a job here.  He will not get a work-permit, and he can only stay with me for 3 months, after that he has to leave the country for another 3 months before he is allowed to come back!  Well… without a job to finance such an operation it is impossible to do that.  Even when we would marry… it wouldn’t change a bit!  He still has to leave the country after 3 months.
The only solution here is to find a job myself, when I have a job and earn a certain amount of money, he can come over and live with me.  But I have been ill for many years, and I am still struggling back to health, so that is not an option yet.  In the mean time I live on a small income, provided by the government.  That is one of the positive things in this story, I have a home and an income.

I have made many phone calls to the department of foreign affairs, but the more I hear the more I got frustrated… there is just no way for us to live together!  The last advice I got was to buy a ticket for the lottery!  Or to try another country like the UK.
So that is now our last hope… a job for Albert in the UK…

We never thought… that it would be so difficult for us to be together… we haven’t seen each other for almost a year now… and it is hard… so hard to be separated because a bunch of laws!

Ok… the reason I write this, is to ask you, dear readers… if there are people among you who are dealing with the same difficulties, and maybe… just maybe… have some advice for us, because this is tearing us apart… love shouldn’t be like this… all we ask… is to be able to live together.  
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 07-05-2002 08:11 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Contact XAngel - one of our moderators - at angel_s_garden@yahoo.com

She's gone through it for about 3 years now.  Tell her I suggested you contact her.  She may  have some good input for you.

Good Luck - God Bless
Nancy
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


2 posted 07-05-2002 09:24 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

I am headed to work this morning, but will take time to reply to you at my lunch.

~Heather
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 07-06-2002 07:29 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


I cannot offer any advice, but I will place you in my prayers, for two that have waited so long to find just the right partner should not have to wait a moment longer...

Yours is a classic story of modern times...and I wish you both the very best...and I'll be watching to see if a miracle happens very soon...
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


4 posted 07-06-2002 12:19 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Hey Neeraja,

Here’s my story, I met Colin online….and through many strange and wonderful circumstances we became close friends and eventually fell in love. He was everything I had ever looked for in a man I thought. Etc…We have known each other for almost 5 years now, spent about 4 or 5 months out of all that time together. Other than that he has been in the UK I have been in the US. Eventually he asked me to marry him and I said yes, we planned an intimate wedding on the beach in hawaii….until crisis hit and I needed to break the relationship off. (won’t go into details, but it was sad for all parties concerned).
What we were going to do to be together was this…He was going to live in the states since I have children and their father wanted them to stay here in the US. We had looked up some really great IMMIGRATION ATTORNEYS….which is what your sweetie should do. The attorney can get you and your sweetie together, or no-one can. Trust me on this. And as far as your sweetie going to the UK, he has to jump through a ton of loopholes to be able to work in the UK compared to staying right where he is and finding ANY kind of work. INS is reluctant to allow person who may become dependant on the state to live in the US as well, so keep that in mind….(make sure you have $$$ saved if you are the one coming to the states). Hmmmm my advice is to 1} make sure this is what you really want to do…..3 months isn’t long to know how someone will be in the long run (sorry to be a wet blanket but if you are going to go through a lot of struggles and hassles and heartache for this man he had better damn well be worth it! 2} get an immigration attorney asap 3} do not rest, or surrender, or give in until said attorney gets you two together! 4} always always keep an option open so he can go home, or you can go back to Holland…..I have known one man who met a woman on the net, gave up his excellent job and home and moved in with her…..3 months later he was homeless and jobless and living in his car in 40* below zero weather.  Anyways my point is be sure about this, and then get a good immigration attorney and let them do all the work, worrying and paperwork, and you two just sit back and be in love.
Good luck! I will say a little prayer for you.
Heather
Neeraja
Senior Member
since 06-22-2002
Posts 832
The Netherlands


5 posted 07-06-2002 04:09 PM       View Profile for Neeraja   Email Neeraja   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Neeraja

Hello Heather,

Thank you so much for responding on my cry for help, it is so sweet of you to take the time to do that, especially because you don't know me!   I am very grateful for your help.

I am sorry to hear about all the difficulties you have been through, but I am happy you seem to be a strong woman!  Smile.... and also wise!  Because of the advice you gave me!  (the wet blanket) !  I am in love.....yes.... but I am also a person who has both feet firmly on the earth!
  
I never thought of consulting an immigration attorney, I don't even know if we have something like that here in Holland but I will go and search for one!  For the rest we have to keep faith and make the best of it!  Everything happens for the best... right?  If it's meant to be it will happen.  And like someone on PIP so kindly told me today.... "Miracles DO happen".  

Dear Heather, thanks again for your advice, it really means a lot to me.  And it is so sweet of you to say a little prayer for me!  I will do the same for you!


Neeraja


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